Page 97 of Unexpected Boyfriends

I can feel the blood drain from my face as I take in her words.

“Oh, fuck,” I groan, forgetting all the people lined up behind me. There are some mutteredtsk tsksfrom the line. And irritated murmurings.

“You really didn’t know,” she whispers wonderingly. “Someone’s heart chose you. If she gave you that…” her voice trails away as she stares at the chain wistfully.

“He,” I say, dazed. “Hegave it to me.”

I’m vaguely aware that’s the first time I’ve come out in public, but the significance of that pales beside this bombshell she’s dropped on me.

If his heart chose me, why would he walk away?

Chapter 41

Sydney

AXEL

It’s two months since Justin chose his family over me, and I’m still not over him.

I went back to his parents' house the day after he sent me that awful text, hoping there was some mistake. It was stupid, I guess, how could there be any mistaking the meaning of that?But just in case it was a bad joke, I went anyway. Justin wasn't there, but his horrible dad was, and he took great delight in humiliating me by telling me Justin had decided to work things out with them and didn't want to see me any more. I can't forget the malicious delight on his face as he told me this. I wouldn't put it past him to lie, but combined with Justin's text and ignoring my calls and texts or blocking me - whichever it was - I had to accept the truth. It was over.

It's hard. And time passes agonizingly slowly.

I’ve spent the last two months moping around at home. Sure, I’ve been working, though it hasn’t been my best work, but I haven’t been going out at night, or even seeing friends at all. Each morning I go down to the beach and swim or surf, but I goearly enough that it’s pretty much deserted and I don’t have to talk to anyone.

I especially don’t talk to my parents. I had that one raging tirade at my mother when I first came home and told her I’d found the letters she’d hidden from me. And because I was feeling particularly hurt and vicious, I’d told her in detail all the terrible things done to Justin that she had effectively collaborated on by keeping the letters from me. Mum had cried because she hadn’t realized what was really going on when his grandparents had asked her to stop our communications. She isn’t at all homophobic, and I knew in my heart that she’d been an unwitting accomplice, but still, there was nothing left at all of my crushed heart, so I had no forgiveness to give her.

I just hang out in my room and… do what? Wallow, I guess. Sleep. Look at the photos from last summer. Cry a little. Wallow some more.

Eventually I realize if I don’t make an effort to dig myself out of this pit of self-pity, I won’t get out at all. It’s not my first broken heart, I tell myself, maybe this one hurts a little more, but I can do this.

I need a distraction, and I know where to get one.

An hour later, showered, shaved and wearing a pair of tight jeans and a black t-shirt, I walk into the local club. I haven’t been here for a while, but security hasn’t changed. They recognize me and nod as they let me pass.

Once inside, I head to the bar and take a look around as I wait for the bartender to fix my drink. This isn’t a gay bar. The population at this end of the peninsula isn’t big enough to support a purely gay club, but it’s usually pretty easy to see who’s in the market for whom. For one thing, you never catch the gayguys checking out the girls. Oh sure, theylookat them, because that's what people do, we look at who's around us, but there's no more interest displayed than that. With straight guys it’s not always so obvious. Sometimes the straight guys check out other guys because they’re checking out the opposition.

I sit at the bar, sipping my beer, and watching.

There are a few couples on the dance floor, gyrating and jiggling with the music. There’s a bunch of guys in the far corner of the room and a few smaller groupsspread out around the back wall. A few lone guys sit at the bar like me.

I order another beer and wait. As the night wears on, more people wander into the club. More people begin to dance. The place starts to get crowded.

Eventually, I spot a familiar figure leaning in close to some guy further down the bar. A loud laugh. Then another guy comes up and shoves him away. It’s embarrassing and I look away.

A moment later, someone materializes at my elbow. I feel his presence, rather than see it.

“Hey,” says Jordy.

“Hey.”

“Haven’t seen you in a while. Mind if I sit down?” He sits without waiting for an answer.

An hour later, we’ve had a couple of beers each but are nowhere near drunk. We’ve even had a decent conversation much like we used to before we first got together. I can see Jordy has moved on, and maybe it’s even possible for us to be friends again.

He’s established that I’m alone now, so when he turns to me and suggests, “Wanna fuck?”, I think,why not?I know he’s not goodfor me long term, but I’m fairly certain he’s not interested in a relationship with me anymore, and one night I can handle.I can scratch that itch and maybe it’ll even help me move on from…no, not thinking about him.

“Sure. Let’s get out of here.” I tip the bartender, check I have my wallet and my keys in my pocket. Neither of us have drunk enough to worry about being over the limit, so we both drive back separately to my place.

---