"Uh-huh. And me?"

"My mom thinks we'll get a better reaction out of my dad, if you're not here while we do this. He has a tendency for knee-jerk reactions." Axel's face shutters, closing off. I feel bad excluding him like this, but it's my best chance. "I'm sorry. It's only for one night, two at most."

Axel shrugs. "Okay, then," he says non-committally. "If that's what you want."

"I want to try," I look at him, my eyes pleading with him to understand.

Axel sighs. "Okay, well, if you're going to do this, I think I'll get going now. I'll wait at Gran's house 'til you're done."

"Are you... are you okay with this?" I feel bad that I've upset him, but I know I have to try this, even if it's just to prove to myself that I did everything I could to salvage the relationship with my parents.

"Not really. But I understand why you want to do it. Just... don't forget what we have, okay? I don't really trust them not to manipulate you."

"I'll be careful. And thank you... for everything." I cast a quick glance around. There's no-one here. I lean forward and briefly press my lips to his. "Text me tonight?"

"Of course."

Axel gets up. "I guess I better go say goodbye," he mutters but I shake my head. "I'm pretty sure they've gone for their after lunch nap. They always do that on a Sunday." It annoys me that they didn't bother saying goodbye to Axel. My mother may be interested in repairing things between us, but it seems like we've got a long way to go.

Walking out to the car, I nearly chicken out and change my mind. Axel's sad face is worrying me and I hope I'm not making a mistake. I lean in through the open driver's window and Axel tenderly holds my chin and presses his lips to mine. Then he rests his forehead against mine.

"We'll talk later, okay?" he murmurs before letting me go. He's pulled away and disappearing down the street before a reply gets past the lump in my throat.

Chapter 39

Alone again

JUSTIN

It's terribly quiet around the house once Axel has gone. I hope I haven't made a terrible mistake in sending him away. He's already put up with so much because of me, including a very painful afternoon, and now I've effectively shoved him aside to try and make things good with my folks. At least it's only a couple of nights and then we can... what, exactly? My future is screwed. I'll probably have to stick around and redo my final year of school. What else can I do? I'm going to talk to Axel about it tonight. We hadn't really looked past me turning 19, and re-uniting with my parents. At least I'll be independent now.

My morose introspection is disturbed by my parents coming down the hall. I hear the scuffing of their shoes on the carpet before they round the corner into the living room.

My dad is dressed in outdoor clothes, battered old jeans, a long-sleevet-shirt that's seen better days, and scruffy work boots.

"I'd like you to give me a hand in the garage after dinner," he says. "I'm getting ready for a kerbside cleanup, need to sort through some stuff. It'll take a couple of hours and your mother's planning an early dinner, so we can do it after."

I take this as a bit of an olive branch. "Sure. I'll have to change my clothes though."

"Might as well get changed now," my mom says, "Dinner will bein half an hour."

When I get to my old bedroom, I pause as I enter, my breath catching in my throat. Everything is just as I left it. There's something comforting and simultaneously melancholy about that. I had a good childhood, but I'm not the same person I was then. Time has moved on, and so have I. I'm not that same innocent boy anymore.

Once I've dressed in some clothes that can afford to get filthy, I head back down to the living room. There's no-one there but I hear voices in the kitchen so I wander straight in there to find my parents deep in conversation.There's a pause and they seem to change topics. I lean on the kitchen island and pull out my phone. My mother is pacing around the room and passes behind me while talking, but I don't pay much attention. I unlock my phone and smile. Axel has sent me a funny meme. I send him one back and then quickly scroll through my social media notifications. There's not much there given that I've been on radio silence for a few months.

I lock the screen and shove the phone back in my pocket.

My mom comes upbeside me and asks, "What was that you were looking at? Something amusing?"

"Oh, just a meme," I replied. Then realizing she probably doesn't know what that is, I add, "It's a funny thing that gets passed around on the internet."

"Oh? I'm not sure what you mean. Can you show me?"

She's standing right beside me, which is a little awkward, but she's trying to be friendly, so I unlock the phone, flick through a couple of things until I find it, and hold the screen up to her.

After a beat, she chuckles. "That's pretty funny. You young people send these things to each other all the time, don't you?"

"Ah, yeah, I guess. They're a thing at the moment," I reply, putting the phone away.