Page 101 of Unexpected Boyfriends

It’s a relief when I re-enter the living room and he’s still sitting on the couch where I left him. He’s awfully quiet though. This is going to be hard.

“Let’s go.” I hand him my spare helmet and a jacket. I know he loves the bike. I don’t even know why he’s giving me a second chance, but I will do anything,anything, I can, to win his heart again. I won't lie to him or anything like that, but if there's any sneaky trick that will give me an edge, I'm using it.

He puts on the jacket without saying a word. I don't like this quiet, sad version of Justin, and although we both want to try, I'm afraid there may be no hope for us.

It’s a still, warm night, and there’s no-one else on the roads. The bike takes the bends with ease, as we lean into the curves as one. Justin’s body is warm against my back, his arms firm around my waist. For the ten minutes it takes to ride to the beach, it’s easy. No words. We are one. Just him and me, the bike, and the rush of the air against our bodies as we power through the bends and the night.

When we crunch to a stop in the beach carpark, it’s deserted. No cars in the carpark, no people on the beach.

We dismount and hang the helmets on the bike. Hesitantly, I take his hand. He doesn’t resist but he doesn’t look at me either.I lead him down towards the rocks at the end of the beach near the rockpool. It’s so late that the light next to the pool has gone out, but there’s a partial moon in the sky which gives us enough visibility to cross the rocks safely.

Just past the pool, I find a large rock where we can sit looking out across the restlessly shifting sea. A mosaic of moonlight glints on the bumpy surface of the water and shines in the tiny puddles of seawater pooling in the rocks.

I sit behind Justin and wrap my arms around him. I rest my head on his shoulder, burying my face in his warmth.

“I missed you,” I whisper.

He doesn’t say anything, but he pulls my arms tighter around him, and we sit like that for a while.

After long minutes, I break the silence.

"I'm sorry, about Jordy." I pause. This is hard. I press my face into the nape of his neck. My voice breaks. "Why are you still here, after what I’vedone?”

For a moment, I think he’s not going to answer, and when he does, he answers with a question. “Tell me something… do you have some sort of Islander in your heritage?"

“Um. Distantly. Why?” I ask confused, wondering what this has to do with anything. He slips his finger under the collar of his shirt and pulls out the neck chain I gave him months ago. The starfish gleams in the moonlight, wobbling on the white coir chain, the sea serpent's mouth gaping in a threatening but silent hiss.

“Oh,” I breath. Suddenly I understand. Something in my heart settles. “You know about that?”

“Yeah.”

“How did you…?”

“It was weird. Someone recognized it. I did some googling after that. It was hard to find anything but yeah, eventually I did.”

A profound silence falls between us. The night is heavy with unspoken emotion. Maybe the serpent's mouth isn't threatening at all, maybe it's guarding, protecting. This tiny chain has been faithfully holding the link between us these last few lonely months - my heart connected to his by the finest of threads. My task will be to gently tug the links to bring us together again without breaking the fragile connection.

"Is that why you came to find me?" I whisper.

"Yes."

“Can you forgive me?” I ask, my lips close to his ear, my words scarcely more than a breath in the night air. He is my heart’s chosen one. He must know that. If he can’t forgive me…

“Yes.” The word is little more than the faintest whisper above the sound of the ocean, but it carries the warmth of summer to my heart.

I kiss his neck, the skin warm against my lips. Grateful tears leak from my eyes and fall silently on his skin. Justin leans back into me, his strong back settling against my chest and I tighten my arms around him, holding him close.

We remain like this for hours, as the moon makes its way across the sky and the dark begins to fade with the approaching day. We’re still sitting here as pink streaks illuminate the clouds and the sun slowly eases over the edge between sea and sky.

JUSTIN

It hurts to know that Axel has been with another guy, but I accept his explanation that he’d thought he’d never see me again. I have to move past this if we’re to have a chance, and we need to talk.

When I entered his house, I made the mistake of heading straight towards his bedroom as I used to, but I stopped myself in time. I knew I'd hate what I was going to find in there. It’s one thing to know he’s had sex with Jordy, but to actually see the evidence, the rumpled sheets... would be… unforgettable. I wonder if there have been others too, but Jordy was the last and I know he doesn’t lovehim, so I guess none of them count. Personally, I can’t quite fathom a meaningless hookup, but I’m only just now experiencing my sexuality. Axel’s four years older, so maybe it’s not a big deal for him.

“Why are you here?” Axel asked, but I wasn't ready to answer that yet. There were things I needed to know first. I wanted to know why he never texted, never called.

Strange thing is, it turned out he'd been wondering why I never called.

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