Page 67 of Unexpected Boyfriends

“I thought I was your favorite.”

“Mmm, yeah, you are. After pizza.”

We share a smile, then make a picnic of it, sitting on the towel in the musty shed, the pizza boxes open in front of us.Justin moans as he chews the first mouthful of pizza, and I wonder how long it is since he ate properly. We sneak slices from each other’s pizza, and feed each other, and for a while we manage to block the rest of the world out.

It can’t last though. There are things we have to take care of.

“Is this one of Giovanni’s?”

“No. I didn’t want to stop somewhere people recognize me.”

After we’ve eaten as much as we’re going to for now – given how thin he is, Justin hasn’t been eating much for a long time and his stomach must have shrunk – and we’ve polished off a couple of bottles of water, Justin leans against me with a sigh, and briefly closes his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“Anything for you,” I pull him tighter against my side and kiss his head. “Thank you for coming to me.”

“Always,” he says to me, opening his eyes and looking at me with such faith and love that it rocks me to my core.

This time I kiss his beautiful lips. They move softly against mine and part for me, as my tongue slides in and caresses his. His tears wet my cheeks, but he doesn’t withdraw or retreat, instead kisses me back fervently, as though he’s starving for affection or reassurance.

I run my hands up his back, but the fabric is between me and him. I want to be closer, need to be closer. My fingers find the hem of the t-shirt, and I pull back from the kiss briefly.

“Is this okay?” and I tug a little at the hem. He gets my meaning.

“Yes,” but he turns slightly troubled eyes to me.

“I don’t think so.” I drop my hand, but he grabs it and places it back on the bottom of his shirt.

“Yes. Please Axel, help me get past this,” he entreats, eyes pleading.

I cup his face with my other hand and whisper, “I’m afraid of making things worse.”

He shakes his head. “You won’t do that. I’m safe with you. I can’t say it will be easy, but… just let me be me.”

I understand then. He needs me to treat him as if he’s not broken – because that’s what they’ve told him he is.

He doesn’t need me to fix him – he’ll get a professional to help him sort out the stuff in his head.

He just needs me to love him - to show him that heislovable despite what they’ve told him – and to be his safe place when he falls apart.

I can do that.

I run my hand up under his t-shirt, over the soft skin that trembles at my touch, and I hold him close and with my kiss and my touch, try and show him all the things that are in my heart.

Chapter 27

Sandy Point

JUSTIN

My relief when Axel pokes his head into the shed is, well,indescribable. I knew he would come back when he could, but I was afraid.

The police were at his house, searching for me apparently. What would they say to him? Would they try and convince him to hand me in? I’m not worried that he actually would, but what have I dragged him into? And what if they found me? They’d take me back to my family, I suppose. I hadn’t done anything wrong. But my family would just send me back tothat placeand I don’t think I could escape a second time and I don’t think I could survive another stint there.

It’s been a long day, just waiting. Waiting and wondering and worrying. At one stage I have to take a piss, and fortunately find a rusty old tin to do it in, all the time trying to be as quiet as I can. I certainly don't want to attract any attention. Yeah, it's been the longest day. But Axel is here now, finally, and I’m so pleased to see him I almost forget about everything else. Almost.

I don’t realize how hungry I am until I smell pizza, and it almost brings me to tears. It’s a little bit of normality in a world which has been turned on its head.

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