Page 24 of Unexpected Boyfriends

“What did that dickhead say to you?” I ask, looping my arms around his waist.

Justin mumbles.

“What?”

“He said you were just using me for a bit of dick, and then you’d dump me like you did him.” Justin sounds miserable.

“That’s not what happened with him, and that’s not what we’re doing,” I assure him.

“I know,” Justin sighs. “I shouldn’t have let him get under my skin like that.”

“Did he hit on you?”

“Yeah, that too. Sleaze.”

“Yeah, he is.” For a moment I don't say anything more, but I feel I owe Justin more explanation than that. I swallow. Even after all this time, it's a hard thing to acknowledge, even to myself.Eventually, I tell him, “Jordy cheated on me. That’s why I dumped him. But it was long overdue, it was already obvious our relationship had run it's course.”

I think we’re okay, but I’m not totally sure, so when I slide my hands up his back, I keep them outside his t-shirt. I donotwant him to think I’m taking advantage.

He leans into me with a sigh, rests his head on my shoulder. I stroke his hair and kiss his forehead, and we stay like this for a minute. I feel every inch of him down my body, chest to chest, hips to hips, thigh to thigh. Every precious delicious centimetre.Everywhere our bodies touch feels warm and amazing, and I want to hold him to me and never let go.

After a while, Justin stirs against me, and pulls back a little. I can feel the hardness in his jeans, and my own are getting tight too, but after all the uncomfortable conversations of the evening, I don’t want to go there right now. I want to make sure we have our relationship back on a solid footing before taking things any further.

“Walk on the sand?” I ask him.

He nods. We shuck our shoes and socks and toss them in the car, and walk out onto the sand. The cool granules slide between our toes, the surface as unstable as our night has been. Neither of us says anything as our hands find each other.

It’s a beautiful night, with just the stars for company, and the lonely cry of a seabird somewhere in the dark. The sound of the waves crashing relentlessly on the shore is haunting, speaking of moments forgotten to time and moments yet to come. At both ends of the beach, an extra inkiness of the dark is the only indication that the headlands exist. Our feet leave impressions in the cool sand, the grains tumbling over our toes. We hug and we walk and we kiss and we talk. And when the rush of the broken water up the beach catches us caught up in a kiss, and our jeans are soaked halfway up our legs, we laugh, and chase the water down to the water’s edge and race the next wave up the sand. We do this often enough, and laughing so hard, that we eventually end up falling over in the mass of foam and water on the shore.

“Oh my god, we’re ridiculous,” laughs Justin, his earlier mood seemingly forgotten. He’s laughing so hard he ends up with hiccups and we sit down on the damp sand while he settles.

“This is the best fun,” he smiles at me, starlight reflected in his eyes. He looks so alive, so vibrant, so full of future and potential, that it catches my breath. It sobers me too, as the realization strikes me that he will leave me. Go on to make his own path. He’s smart and he’s beautiful and he’s on the cusp of becoming whatever bright shining thing he was meant to be. That trajectory will take him far from me. My heart sinks. We have no future.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Justin nudges me softly. “You look sad.”

“Nothing.”

I smile but a bone-deep grief grips me inside. But I don’t want him to see that. Let us finish on a joyous moment, let it be a happy memory, a summer holiday romance that he looks back on fondly.

Chapter 08

Disappearing Act

JUSTIN

I feel some disappointment that we didn’t progress our physical relationship any further tonight. I know the reason, though I don’t necessarily understand the why of it. Or agree with it. But whatever, Axel wants us to go slow, so we will. I can’t really complain, the kissing and touching was beyond amazing, though it only stirred up my horniness more, something Axel is apparently in no hurry to do anything about. I have to take care of myself tonight! No matter. We did have a wonderful time together and I think about him as I pleasure myself in the darkness of my bedroom, secure in the knowledge I’ll be seeing him again tomorrow.

Only I don’t.

Sorry. Something came up. Can’t make it today.

I’m disappointed when I receive Axel’s text the next morning, but I try not to reflect that in my reply.

No worries. Let me know when you’re free.?

Axel doesn’t reply, which is also disappointing but hey, he’s just told me he’s busy, so he’s probably not going to be checking hisphone every five minutes. Though I would totally be doing that if the roles were reversed.

Anyway, I suck it up and get on with my day. I’m not feeling like the beach this morning, now that Axel’s not coming, so I sit out in the sunroom and finish off my lorikeet. I’malmostsatisfied with the way it’s turned out and the way I’ve managed to create a 3D effect with the feathers.

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