Page 64 of Desperately Yours

This had all become a horrible mess. Tangled and irretrievably impossible. Regret and remorse had become my constant companions, but what could I do to save myself from my awful fate?

“Tell me.” Prince Leonidas took me by my shoulders with a not-so gentle shake. “If you know something…”

But that was the question, wasn’t it? What didheknow?

“I can’t, Your Highness.” It wasn’t a lie. They had me exactly where they wanted me to be. Powerful people had reminded me all of five minutes ago that my life was not my own, not while they had Tauriq.

They’d actually brought him to the ball. My love watched me as I danced with the prince. He stood in the midst of the noblemen like he was one of them, hidden in plain sight. Though, if anyone looked closely, they would see the terror brought on by his captivity. They did their best to hide it, but I spotted the knife, a threat to keep him in line as I took on the role of the prince’s intended. Torture worse than being gutted, at least in my opinion.

“That’s a lie.” Leonidas tightened his grasp. “I saw you out there. You knowsomething. Someone had you quaking, so tell me what you saw. If someone is threatening you or making you do something,” his grip loosened as if he’d come to his senses, “I can protect you.”

No one could protect me. My sins were too great to be absolved. The king. My lies. And, of course, Michaela. Was she dead? Had she choked on the gas? Or had the cold winter windschilled her veins until her heart ceased to function? Tears rolled over my cheeks at the thought. She’d only ever been kind, and how had I repaid her? With treachery and deceit. No chance would the prince ever forgive that betrayal. He would sooner hang me from the nearest tree if he knew her blood was on my hands.

I had no choice.

It was Michaela or Tauriq.

Still, I wished for a different outcome.

“Please,” he pleaded again, “if you know where she is, tell me.”

Fitz

Whatever secrets she was guarding, they were perched at the tip of her tongue. With the right nudge, I felt as though she would spill it all, but I couldn’t find the combination that would trigger the release.

“I told you,” Sadira swallowed hard and squared her jaw, “I found that letter and she said she was—”

“It wasn’t real,” I corrected her.

“It was her handwriting, Your Highness.” She stammered for a moment then added, “I know it was.”

“Yes, her writing, but coerced. We had…” I hesitated for some reason, as if she weren’t worthy of the information, “a certain way of signing letters. Never would she have penned the wordsincerely. Especially not to announce that she was leaving me.”

If I hadn’t been watching, I never would have seen it. A flinch. Hardly even a tightening of muscle, and yet it clearly corresponded to the insight that Michaela had hidden a message within her letter. But what did that mean? Was Sadie involved? Why? Other than to force me to marry her? Would she truly be that desperate? There was one way to find out…

I dropped my hands from her shoulders. In order to learn the truth, I couldn’t exert any pressure. She had to know this wasn’t a royal command. The door opened behind me, but I paid it no mind. I needed answers and I sensed the poor raffle winner from the Eshein Province was the gatekeeper.

“Leonidas,” my mother spoke my name, almost enough to deter me, but I pretended it hadn’t registered.

“Lady Sadira,” I extended my hand to her, offering myself, so to speak, “I would have you know, I made my decision and it isn’t you. I fully planned to announce my marriage to Michaela Caldwell at the ball. If the court accepted her, we would marry, and if they didn’t, I would abdicate and walk away forever.”

The sharp intake of breath belonged to Mother, no doubt, because Sadie held steady, unflinching and strangely interested, not horrified as one might expect from the one being told she was the projected loser.

“But since she is missing and my hour has come, I have had to reevaluate that choice.” I couldn’t be distracted by anything else. I watched the maiden carefully. “Instead, I choose to extend that invitation to you.” As a symbol of that, I reached for her hand, which she readily gave. “I’m asking if you’ll marry me, Lady Sadira. Here, tonight. Right now.”

Another gasp sounded behind me, Mother again, but this time all too happy she was getting her way. Sadira, however, looked five shades of green and gray at the thought. I didn’t plan to make it any easier, either.

Before she could answer, I continued. “You should know, I will never love you, not really. It will beherface I see,herarms I feel around me. Our marriage will be one of convenience and necessity. We will never be truly wed, not in heart or mind. I will never share your bed or have children with you because anything of the sort would be a lie and a betrayal to the one whom I am truly devoted.” I waited, needing to understand if she understood what I was saying. “All that considered, are you still willing to marry me?”

In a normal world, with any other competitor, Chantal included, I suspected they would try to convince me otherwise. Tell me that my mind would change after enough time and eventually we would fall in love. I thought Sadira might try to explain her merits or virtues, how she differed from Michaela, and why it was an asset, not a hindrance. In essence, I expected any normal person would have fought for their right to love.

But that didn’t happen.

In fact, Sadie didn’t even look in my eyes at first. Instead, her gaze moved beyond me, focused on my mother who waited behind me. Why would she be seeking permission from the queen?

“I find your terms quite agreeable.” She placed her hand in mine. “I will marry you, tonight, right now.”

My stomach twisted with concern. I had my answer. Yes, Sadie would stop at nothing to win. But why? What motivated her to be willing to sign up for a lifetime of unrequited love?

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