Page 56 of Desperately Yours

I rubbed my hands over my arms, trying to warm myself up. Shivers ran up my spine, a reminder that I was exposed in this stone prison. The temperature would keep dropping. Would I make it through the night if the temperature went below freezing? The chills that ran through me had more to do with fear than anything else.

Defeated, I leaned into the window to watch everyone as they arrived for the ball. My dress was killer. I’d been saving it through the whole competition for a special night. Full ballgown, pale-blue shade with a chiffon overlay that sparkled in low light. I’d fashioned small butterflies from delicate fabric and fastened them to the bodice. I thought I looked like a fairy princess when I wore it, and I longed to see Fitz’s reaction as I entered the ballroom.

Instead, I was literally freezing to death in the tower he’d teased me about.

Oh, the irony.

My eyes adjusted to the dark, but it didn’t make the drop any less dangerous or the roofs less inclined. The same deadly consequences were waiting for me, only now I could see them clearly. I leaned forward and stared over the edge. On this side of the tower, it was easy to see just how fatal the drop would be because lights illuminated the stone exterior. But the new light cast a soft glow over something I hadn’t seen on the other side.

A ledge.

It only extended out about eighteen inches. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure it was actually a ledge and not a decorative piece of stonework, but I couldn’t help but lean out as far as I could to see where it went. From my vantage point, it looked like it went out another fifteen feet before it disappeared behind the curve of the tower.

“It’s stupid,” I said aloud to myself, trying to talk my reckless brain out of a thought that hadn’t even fully materialized yet. “You’ll be killed.”

I scoffed at myself. “As opposed to freezing to death anyway?”

My rational side didn’t have much of a retort. I considered the idea. Maybe I could follow the ledge, carefully inching my way to… that was the problem… to what? What was the plan? If I got on that ledge, falling was definitely a risk and there was nothing to catch me or break my descent. It was a suicide mission.

But staying in the tower was too.

Fitz needed me.

Sadie was going to convince him to marry her. I needed to tell him what she was up to. I had to figure out who she was working with. And I couldn’t do any of that if I stayed in the tower.

Before I could talk myself out of it again, I pulled myself into the arched open window.

Fitz

Icouldn’t bring myself to go in, not yet. I kept hoping she would show up, burst through the double doors like a whirling dervish of wild energy, apologizing for the misunderstanding and begging me to stay true to the promises we’d made in the forest.

But she didn’t come.

“Your Highness,” Reginald spoke softly, aware of the turmoil I was caught in, “I’m afraid we can’t wait any longer. They want to announce you.”

I clenched my teeth and nodded. “Very well.”

He shot me an unsure glance, but moved to pass the word along. The prince had arrived. The night could begin. With onlyone contestant left, of course the wedding would be imminent, and yet I couldn’t commit, not really.

Beyond the heavy double ballroom doors, trumpets announced my arrival. In my mind, I imagined Michaela at the opposite doors, much as I’d seen my parents do at this type of function. Queen on one side, king on the other, entering and coming together, symbolizing the strength of the monarchy drawn from their eternal bond. I brought my chin up, nodded to Reginald, and held my breath as the doors parted.

In full royal robes, I entered the room. Every person within the ballroom dropped in respect of the title I held. Ladies curtsied lower than I’d ever seen. Men took to their knee, arm crossed to their shoulder, a symbol of devotion. I tried to take comfort in their confidence and reverence for the title change they sensed would come this night. But Michaela wasn’t there. I doubted my ability to rule without her.

I followed the natural path carved through those who still bowed in loyalty. At the corner, I took the last leg of the path that I knew would lead toward the thrones. It was then that I saw her. Standing near the thrones, she’d bent low, purple dress clinging to her gentle curves, other than the back where it flared out and pooled behind her, almost a peacock’s feathers at rest. Sadira dared not lift her head before I called for her, but I still saw the beauty in her. If not for Michaela, I would be content with the choice to marry her.

Was it so bad for me to settle?

I thought of Michaela’s note and the way she’d encouraged me to go through with marrying Sadira. She’d pushed for the quiet girl the entire competition. Should it surprise me that in the end that was her choice?

Before I took the stairs to my throne, I stopped at Sadira’s bowed frame. I hooked my finger under her chin and tilted her face to look up at me. “Lady Sadira, arise.”

For a moment, her dark eyes were blue, her dark hair a rich auburn shade that seemed to glow like embers. In a heartbeat, I traveled back in time to that first time I walked in on Michaela as a prince and called for her to stand. The innocence, the curiosity, the beauty unmatched, was it then that she stole my heart all over again?

“Good evening, Your Highness.” Sadira’s voice brought me back to the present, and with it the sharp disappointment of reality in her amber eyes. “It is an honor to be here.”

I nodded and lowered my hand, swallowing back the negative feelings that bombarded me. It wasn’t Sadira’s fault that she wasn’t Michaela, and yet I couldn’t help but blame her. “It is my honor to have you.” I turned but offered my elbow.

Duty.

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