Page 49 of Desperately Yours

“As the one tied to a chair, I have to disagree, because I think it means you have a partner and that feelsreallyimportant to me.” I narrowed my eyes. “Who is it? Queen Mariah? Kabir? One of the maids or security officers? Who?”

“I can’t tell you that.” She crossed her arms and turned away. “They won’t be pleased that I’ve spoken with you.”

“Then they can get used to not being pleased because I deserve answers.” I knew better than to jerk against the ropes again, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to. “Because this is a lot just to make sure you end up as the new queen.”

“I don’t care about that. It was never important to me.”

“What?” Tears sprang to my eyes over my frustration with her answer. “Then why are you doing this?” Even as my volume rose, Sadie didn’t flinch. No part of her was worried that I might alert someone. “This is criminal! You’ve abducted me, tied me up, and for all I know, you plan to leave me to rot. What could motivate you to—”

“Love!” she snapped back. “I’ve done all of it for love. The kind of love you would never understand. The kind that endures and sacrifices. Love that extends beyond all boundaries of reason.” Tears rolled over her cheeks. “Love, Michaela. I would do anything, pay any cost, for love.”

I understood her drive but hated that we were talking about the same person. The same feelings existed in my heart for Fitz, but she couldn’t possibly have developed the same connection in such a short amount of time.

“Look I know Fitz… I mean Leonidas is handsome and sweet, and sure the power is probably alluring, but I don’t think—”

Her face twisted into frustration and anger. “Not the prince! I would sooner swallow hot coals than choose to marry him.”

Color me baffled, what was she talking about then?

“I told you I was in love before I came here.” Sadie’s gaze went distant. “My first kiss and my love, Tauriq.”

I nodded slowly. “And you said he…”

“Died,” she confirmed. Blinking rapidly to dispel the tears she added, “He might as well have. It’s his life that hangs in the balance.”

She wanted to talk; I could feel it. All this time, she’d been holding onto secrets and this was her chance to spill them if I was willing to listen. “Start at the beginning. It’s not like I’m going anywhere, right?” When she tightened her lips like a lock, I tried again. “Maybe I can help you find a way out of this mess.”

Those same tight lips turned inward as she fought back more tears. “No one can.”

Sadie turned away from me and walked to the open window. The golden hues of the sunset had faded from a vibrant shade to muted memories. Soon, I would be surrounded by darkness. Every chance of escape lessened as the light faded away.

Still, I waited, hoping Sadie would break her silence, but once again, she was stuck in memories far away. Maybe I was naïve to think she would want to tell me anything. We weren’t friends. We weren’t even competitors anymore, not with me hidden away in the tower. Whatever her endgame, I would have to wait to watch it unfold firsthand.

Her voice broke the stillness. “Apothecary isn’t permitted in Eshein.” She didn’t face me and I didn’t speak, too afraid I would break whatever peace she’d found that allowed her words to flow. “But we don’t have access to medicine either and without options, too many would have died.” The muscles in her face flinched as though it was too hard to control them completely. “I practiced in secret, careful to not let those in power know what I could do. Tauriq and I planned to leave Nolcovia once we had enough money. Go to a place that would appreciate my talents as a healer.”

I leaned forward, waiting for the next segment of her story. Clearly, she’d suffered before the competition, but that didn’texplain how I’d ended up in the tower or why she couldn’t let me go.

“Somehow, my secret got out. Men approached me, hoping I could come up with something that might incapacitate someone. They spoke of patriotism, of bringing Eshein back into a position of power, and they offered to pay the kind of money I might never see in a lifetime.” Regret haunted her eyes as she looked at me. “I made what they wanted. Something undetectable because it was completely natural. Something that would weaken a person slowly over time, but not kill them. They said their target was an enemy to Nolcovia and that I would be doing a great service to the country.”

How many good people over the course of human history had been told the same lies? How many good people were willing to hurt and kill in the name of patriotic pride and promise of reward? But the question still remained: Was Sadie one of thegoodones?

“The money allowed me to expand and help more people, but with that, my risk increased. It was harder to keep my secret hidden. Tauriq wanted to leave, but I thought…” She didn’t finish, but I had an idea.

I knew the allure of success and that feeling of traction that comes with making decent money. The first time I sold a dress I’d made, I felt like the world was in my grasp. I would have done anything to hang onto that feeling.

“I thought I could change things. I thought I had a chance to make the world better for those who were trapped in the poverty of Eshein, so I didn’t leave. And Tauriq wouldn’t go without me.” Her regret deepened. “If only I’d listened. If only I hadn’t made that elixir to begin with. By the time I understood their plans… the king was already dying.”

My heart sank. His sickness. The disease. That was Sadie’s doing?

“They’d used my poison over time. In his food, his soaps, his drinks, all random so it could not be tracked and would remain inconsistent.” She shut her eyes, as though the weight of her confession had forced them to close. “I was slowly killing the king, but even when I learned what I’d done, I felt no remorse. He’d left us to suffer under his rule and I hoped his son would extend mercy when he rose to power. In my eyes, I was doing the country a service in hastening a change of power.”

It was in my nature to try to understand, but she was talking about murder, assassination, and a political coup d'état, even if she wasn’t directly poisoning him herself.

“But then I saw him in person. The king came to Eshein to meet with advisors. He saw the truth of what we were facing and… he wanted to help us. He made plans to strengthen our economy, fix the infrastructure, and there was talk of removing the corrupt leaders from office.” Pain gripped her features, emotions taking a physical toll. “I couldn’t go through with it any longer. Without the poison administered constantly, I knew he would return to his normal strength. It would look like a miraculous healing and my conscience would be clear.”

Obviously, that hadn’t happened. Shadows crept across the window, creatures come to life, spawned from darkness and defeat. The sun must have slipped below the horizon. I watched the darkness capture her features, cloaking her expression so that I had to lean forward and squint to see.

“I told them. I told the men that I refused to go along any longer. I told them they would have to kill me before I was willing to hurt the king any more.” Even the growing shadows couldn’t hide her deep anguish. “But if I thought death was the worst they could do to me, I was wrong.” Her voice turned to steel, as if she had to sever contact with all emotion in order to survive the rest of her story. “They took Tauriq. They told me I had to follow their plan or they would execute him.”

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