Page 23 of Desperately Yours

“Say something.” His lips brushed mine, lighting fires in my system. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

That was the problem, wasn’t it? My thinking. Because half of my mind focused on how close he was and how he kept pulling closer. The gravity of his frame pulled me into his orbit and instinctually my head tipped to the left just enough for our lips to line up. His hand didn’t hold mine anymore, but only because he’d dropped it to take hold of my waist. Hot breath flashed against my mouth as he lingered, waiting on my cue that he had permission to end this game and whisk me off to our happily ever after.

But the other half of my brain wouldn’t stop working on that dang puzzle.

Every. Remedy.Why was that important? His lips pressed against my cheek, not like a kiss, more like dragging over my skin, leaving need and ache in its wake. My breathing increased, slightly impeded by the tightness of the bodice of my gown. I hadn’t considered this in the design. Never once had it crossed my mind that a Crown Prince might leave me breathless and begging, and yet I was stuck in exactly that scenario.

Every remedy.

It bounced through my mind as his fingers tunneled into my hair. His heated kiss inched toward my neck and bare shoulders. Why couldn’t I let it go? Why wouldn’t I just say yes? I owed nothing to Nolcovia. I was a foreigner who had been belittled and looked down on since day one, so what on earth was keeping me from pulling him back to my lips and giving in to whatever this madness was that burned between us?

Then it broke through my thoughts completely.

Every remedy the modern medical world has available.

But what about the ancient medical world? When I was pulled out of that pit, Sadie’s healing broth had done miracles for me. Had they tried anything like that? Sadie would have mentioned it. When she told me about her work as an apothecary, she acted as if it was a secret, so why would she tell Fitz?

“You’re drifting away.” His lips left cascading kisses over my bare shoulders. “Come back to me, Michaela. I need you.”

But I couldn’t. Not when the king’s life had a chance at being saved.

“Fitz,” I took hold of his arms and pressed him away from me, “I can’t run away with you, not like this. Not when you’re clearly not in your right mind.”

“But I am.” His eyes widened. “I’m thinking clearly for the first time in I don’t know how long.”

“I know you think you are, but this is grief.” I couldn’t tell him yet, not until I convinced Sadie to help. If she was keeping her profession a secret, there had to be a reason. It was late and she might be in bed, but I had to try. “And I can’t stay right now.”

I shifted as if to stand, but his hand caught my wrist. “No, Coco, don’t leave me to face this alone.”

Jaw clenched to keep my emotions locked away, I eased from the couch, but couldn’t free myself from his grip. “Fitz, I promise I’ll be back. I promise. But there’s something I have to do first, okay? It’s for your own good.”

“No,” he shook his head as tears filled his eyes, “no, they’ll come for me while you’re gone and if he dies,” his strong voice cracked under the strain of that brush with reality, “I’ll agree to be king. I won’t be able to deny them, can’t you see that? We have to go,now.”

The plaintive words of his plea tugged on my heart. I wanted nothing more than to stay with him and do exactly as he asked, but I had to go. Twisting my arm, I broke his grasp on my wrist. “I’m sorry, Fitz, but you have to trust me.”

My fingers wrapped into my skirts and hoisted them up so I could run. He fell forward as if to take hold of me again, but I’d already started for the passageway.

“Coco! Coco, come back!” His cries followed me down the dark passageway. I didn’t have time to explain it. And it wouldn’t befair to give Fitz false hope if Sadie denied me or couldn’t do anything to help. I didn’t have the luxury of staying where I wanted to. I only had time to seek out the one person who had a chance of saving the king’s life.

All my hopes rested with Sadie.

But, even as I realized it, another truth dawned on me. By deserting Fitz and asking Sadie to save the king, was I sacrificing my own place in his heart?

Who would he love more?

The woman who left him?

Or the one who saved the kingdom?

Michaela

Irushed through the passageway and passed through the other side. With curses to my zipper for being unreachable at a time when I really wanted yoga pants and a hoodie, I unbolted the bedroom door and hurried down the hallway toward Sadie’s room.

Neglecting my well-trained manners, I didn’t knock like a lady. My fist pounded four times against the heavy door. When she didn’t answer right away, I repeated the action. As I raised my fist again, the door cracked open.

Dahlia peered through the opening. “Lady Michaela?”

“What are you doing here? I was looking for Sadie.”

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