Page 40 of Desperately Yours

“Only if they won’t accept you. It very well may be that they will agree to my terms and then you’ll—”

“Be queen to a country where I don’t belong?”

“A country where they love you.” He let go of my hand to run his knuckle along my jaw. “They love you because I love you.”

I closed my eyes. Desire to accept perched on the edge of my tongue. I did love him and I had grown to love Nolcovia. Would it be so awful to agree?

“But if you married Sadie, you could—”

“Fall victim to another arranged marriage? End up like my parents, with a wife counting down the moments until my demise? Undermining my every move so that she can usurp the throne?” Anger flickered in his features. “I’ve seen the reality of their love, something I thought was real, but it was a game to her, a chance to find her way to power.”

“You know Sadie wouldn’t be like that,” I chastised him. “She’s too kind.”

“That may be so, and I even may come to love her one day,” his finger hooked under my chin and pressure urged me closer to him, “but she will never be to me what you are. You will always have my heart.” His lips brushed against mine, slow at first, then the kiss became more fervent. Capturing me in his spell, I leaned into him, relishing the way he made the love in my heart blossom and spread through all my limbs with the warmth of the sun. “I love you, Coco,” he whispered against my lips.

Fitz

How could I make her see? How could I explain the way she meant more to me than anything ever had? That my whole life had been waiting on her, and I never knew it until she came back to me? Instead of words, I poured it into my kiss. My fingers tunneled into her hair, pulling her closer, erasing any doubt of my intentions or affection for her. When I looked at her, all I could see was the future. Whether it would be in Nolcovia or somewhere else, I didn’t care anymore. Michaela was all that mattered. Together we would make the future we wanted.

The cold evaporated as we stayed in the moment. Winter had nothing on the fire that burned every time we touched. How I loved her. I’d fooled myself for too long, thinking I could livewithout her, but never again. I refused to let her walk away.

Needing air, I broke the kiss, but kept my hand wrapped around the back of her neck, hair still threaded through my fingers. She still hadn’t answered me. Coco met my gaze, breathless and full of wonder. Why hadn’t she answered me?

A horrible thought twisted in my gut.

“Don’t youwantto marry me?” I voiced the question before I had the sense to stop myself. Once it was out there, the churning sensation only intensified. I hadn’t considered the alternative. The only answer I expected was yes and yet…

“It’s sudden,” she whispered. Her gaze dropped, unable to maintain my stare. “You have to admit that it’s sudden, Fitz. All of this is moving so fast, and it’s not like you’reonlyasking me to marry you.” Her sapphire eyes met mine again. “You’re asking me to be the queen.”

“Only if they agree,” I countered. “I told you, I’m willing to leave for you. I’ll give up everything, if that’s what it requires.”

“And what if that’s too much?” Her eyes widened as her breathing quickened with panic. “What if I can’t handle being the reason you step away from all of this?” Michaela pulled away from me and rose to her feet. “I want to follow my heart, Fitz, but this is a huge decision.”

The cold rushed in around me in her absence. Winter understood what I was losing and it wanted to remind me of how old I’d felt in my loneliness before her. I stood quickly, not even close to surrender.

“It’s late, Fitz. We should go back.”

I knew that tone. I’d heard it before. Once, when our English teacher refused to change a grade, despite her hard work. Another time when her mother refused to cave and let me spend the night on a school night. The last time when I couldn’t change my flight to stay one more week with her. That tone was resignation. She was giving up.

“We should,” I agreed, but despite that, I pulled my phone from my pocket and prayed Bishop had come through. With the click of a button, a soft instrumental played from the trees. Oh, the wonder of Bluetooth and batteries. I extended my hand to her. “But first, dance with me?”

Michaela

If I put my hand in his, I couldn’t be held responsible for my choices. The lights, the music, the man who stood before me, it would have brought down stronger women than me and I wasn’t feeling real stalwart at the moment.

“Let me live that moment that Tanner stole from me. Let me have the dance that should have been mine.” Fitz grinned as if he knew he’d already broken me. “Please, m’lady?”

My hand slipped easily into his, a puzzle piece locking into place. His arm wrapped around me, warm, welcoming…home. That’s what he represented to me, a home for my heart. Ever since moving out, I’d been struggling to find where I belonged and I couldn’t deny that I’d found it with him. But what did it mean? How could I make this decision?

Unable to find peace in my mind, I sought it out in him. The gentle sway of our bodies felt like a conversation of its own.

My worries. His reassurance.

My concern. His care.

Our love. Our connection.

Couldn’t the song go on forever? We didn’t stop when the song ended. Not that one. Not the next one. Or the one after that. I burrowed my face into the crook of his neck, not only seeking warmth, but seeking him. Could I really live without him? Who was I trying to fool? Just like he said, my heart belonged to him and it always would.

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