Page 3 of Rich and Bossy

Also, it’s a little annoying being ambushed like this. That’s no lie. Her gorgeous face makes it easier, because any other employee who did this would be put in their place immediately. But, yeah, still annoying. That spark in her eyes is amazing though. I think I want to see more of it, see just how pissed I can get her. I want to see how far she’s willing to push me, knowing I could fire her in seconds.

“You guys can go number two in under five minutes? Impressive.”

She stares at me, and I get the reaction I want. It’s one part frustration, one part amazement. That’s what I was going for.

Now it’s her who looks a little stunned. “Did… Did you really just ask that?”

“Just want to get the details straight and, like your alleged bathroom breaks, we don’t have much time.” I glance over at the elevator.

Strangely, I don’t mind how slow it’s moving.

“Actually…” Her jaw clenches, and she grinds her teeth. Like she knows she shouldn’t do what she’s about to do, but she just can’t fucking help it.

Believe it or not, I admire that. But there’s no way I can tell her.

Her nostrils flare a little, and she goes for it. “It doesn’t really matter, because it’s not even enough for number one.”

“Five minutes? For number one? I mean, I’ve never timed myself, but I can’t imagine that’s true.” She’s going to detonate. I can feel it, and it will make my day infinitely more interesting.

“Well, when you have to run a quarter mile through dangerous machinery and robot arms to the nearest restroom, then run all that way back...”

She stops at the end, as if I’m supposed to fill in the blanks.

Jesus. That can’t be true. Surely there are restrooms around the corner from most stations. This chick is just making shit up. Sometimes employees do that.

Then again, I don’t really know. I have an entire operations department that handles this kind of thing. I’m not a fucking warehouse designer, or a human logistics expert.

I start to respond, but she cuts me off.

“It’s all timed. The second you leave your station.”

“What is happening…” I let my sentence trail off and start glancing around. “John put you up to this? Where’s the hidden camera?”

“Oh, there are cameras everywhere, not hidden, watching everything. But this is not a joke. The screens monitor every single thing we do, track our positions, to make sure we’re working as fast as possible. And in case you were wondering, people have started to urinate in containers at their stations, because they don’t want to get written up for not making it back on time.”

I hold out a hand. “Look, lady. I’m not saying you’re crazy, but this little 1984 Orwellian nightmare you’re painting, sounds a little exaggerated in your mind.” I look away, trying not to smile. “I will absolutely make a note to have a new worker glove policy, just in case. We can’t have people handling packages after that.”

Now, she looks like she might bite her cheek. Finally, her face starts to pinken, and slowly morph to red. Wow. She’s absolutely fuming under that stare.

Is it mature to amp her up like this?

No.

But I’m not the only one at fault here. Seriously, fucking go to HR like a normal person if you have problems. Don’t ambush the CEO at the crack of dawn.

Maybe I do wish this elevator would speed up. I’m kind of torn on the issue.

She lifts her left arm, holding up a smart watch in my face.

I just stare back at her and lift my wrist, showing her a Rolex. “Got one too. You need the time?”

“It’s a tracker. They literally track us through the warehouse. Do you have anything to say about that?”

“I think it sounds like you haven’t been getting your steps in and should work harder toward your goals.”

Fuck me, I should stop. I want to stop! I just can’t. I’m suppressing a huge grin, trying to look serious, but it’s difficult.

This is the most fun I’ve had in years. Definitely need to look into some of this stuff. Sounds like they’re pushing employees pretty hard, possibly excessive, but I have no doubt she’s overselling a lot of this shit. It’s a negotiation tactic. Go overboard to meet back in the middle and gain an edge. She makes it sound like we’re in a third-world sweatshop run by AI. No matter how beautiful she is, especially when pissed off, I can’t let that stand.

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