Page 39 of By His Side

I let my thighs fall open, Felix settling between them. “You know what she meant.”

“The snarling dog,” he said.

“The snarling dog,” I agreed. “What happened to him?” It was a brave question to ask, one that risked that same snarling dog coming out as a defense mechanism.

“Someone threw him a bone, and he’s busy gnawing on it.”

As analogies went, it was a strange one, but I took the meaning from it as him not needing the dog, that he felt secure enough to keep it at bay.

Felix’s fingers found their way between my legs to curl around my cock, the organ having wilted during my conversation withKatherine—which I’m sure she’d be glad to know—and now making a revival with Felix’s touch. “Who’s Emily?”

“What?” I couldn’t think with him massaging me.

“Emily? The women you apparently went on a date with. Should I be jealous?”

“Would you be?” Felix might live here, but we didn’t really talk. We hadn’t labeled what was going on between us, or discussed the future. We existed in a one-day-at-a-time bubble.

“Yes.”

His answer sent an electric thrill coursing through me. Jealousy was an admission of feelings that went beyond sex. Did I want that? It seemed I did if it made me happy. “There’s no need to be. It was one date. She talked about her ex-husband all night while I strategized how I could end it without coming across as rude and upsetting Katherine or Emily.”

Felix shifted his position to kneel between my thighs, his fingers on the waistband of my sweatpants. “Lift up.” I did, Felix peeling the fabric over my thighs and taking my underwear with it to leave my cock bare to his gaze. He leaned forward, hot breath playing over the tip. “Strange, that it didn’t go better. You know, given you prefer women.”

I laughed. How could I not, lying there with my cock hard against my belly, desperate for Felix to blow me?

He peered up at me, his eyes more smoky than stormy. “Is she pretty?”

“Not as pretty as you.”

His lips quirked. “I bet she’s not as good at giving blow jobs either.”

I wrapped my hand around the back of Felix’s skull and attempted to drag him closer. Although his hair had grown some since leaving prison, there still wasn’t enough to grab hold of. “I doubt anyone is asgood as you.”

Felix looked momentarily surprised. “You sweet talker, you.”

“Just saying whatever will get your lips around my cock.” It was a lie, and we both knew it, but it had the desired effect, Felix bending forward and swallowing me down. There was a smile on my face as I closed my eyes and gave myself up to the pleasure.

We carried on in that same cloud of denial and unwillingness to face up to things until day eighteen. Day eighteen was a Saturday, Felix and I whiling it away in bed. Who needed to spend time in the outside world when you could fuck instead?

We were in a post-coital doze, mustering up energy for another round, when my bedroom door opened, the familiar figure of my brother filling it. He had a key to my place and I his. It had seemed sensible in case something happened. Now, with him standing there looking at me like I was an alien, it seemed the stupidest thing in the world.

The sheet slipped down to my waist as I jerked upright, Felix stirring next to me. “Hayden! Jesus! You scared me. What the hell are you doing here? And what’s with you just letting yourself in?”

“I was worried.” Hayden’s words were clipped. “I rang you three times yesterday, and you didn’t pick up. Or ring me back. I even got Levi to ring you in case I’d done something that had pissed you off I wasn’t even aware of, and you didn’t answer his call either. I thought you were ill or lying dead in a ditch or something.”

“Not many ditches around here.” The quip was a cover for the guilt seeping in. I’d meant to ring Hayden back, but what with work, andFelix—mainly Felix, if I was honest—I’d just forgotten. I’d become that guy. The guy who gets so wrapped up in someone, he ignores his family and friends. Now, I was reaping the consequences of that. It didn’t have to be a big deal, though. There were worse crimes than being caught in bed on a Saturday afternoon. I expected Hayden had done it himself a time or ten with Levi. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been… busy.”

“I can see that.”

There was amusement in Hayden’s voice. We’d laugh about this later and probably establish a few ground rules about possession of the keys to our respective homes, because I no more wanted to walk in on him and Levi than he probably had me. I waved a hand in Felix’s direction, Felix having sat up, but stayed silent throughout our exchange. “This is…”

Hayden’s focus switched from me to Felix, his expression changing from amusement to something darker in the space of a few seconds. It couldn’t be that shocking that I was in bed with a man, could it? I might have dated more women than men in my time, but I’d made no secret of my bisexuality.

“I can see who it is.”

Alarm bells rang immediately, even as I argued Hayden couldn’t possibly mean what I thought. How could he? It had been years ago, and he’d never been into watching the news or reading newspapers.

“I need to talk to you,” Hayden said, his voice tight. “Alone. I’ll meet you downstairs.” He withdrew from the doorway as quickly as he’d appeared, the summons hanging in the air.

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