Page 21 of Dreamers Often Lie

“That’s about all you have, babe.” I patted his knee. “Tell me.”

“I know.” He choked up and took a deep breath to steady himself. “I am a fucking magnet for drama. But I really wish I wasn’t.”

“What did Roam do?” I growled. “I warned you about him.”

“It’s not Roam, Ty. It’s…” He looked up at me and stared deeply into my eyes. “Will you go with me someplace? Please?”

“Tell me why.”

“I’ll tell you everything when we get there. Please, Ty? I really need you.” He reached over and took my hand in his. “Please?”

“I’m not gonna regret this later, am I?” I knew that I was going to give in. It was impossible to disappoint Jules. He was the only person that I had in my life that I truly cared about. The only person who cared about me.

“I can’t promise that. We’re gonna meet some friends, and then I’ll tell you everything.” He sniffed. His eyes were red-rimmed, and now that I really looked at him, he had been crying.

“Yeah, totally gonna regret this. You have shitty friends.”

“You’re about my only friend, Ty.”

“Who do you think I’m talking about?”

He squeezed my hand tighter. “You are more than you know, my love. You just hide behind that macho bullshit. Butunderneath, you care, and you love, and you know it. You’re just scared of it. I get it. You’ve not known real love since your… I’m sorry. I know you don’t like talking about that.” He let go of my hand, and I leaned forward and took his face between mine.

“No, go on. You felt the need to start it.” I had been thinking about this a lot lately. The reasons that I act the way I do.

“You’ve had a shit life, Ty. When your parents died, you were sent to live with someone who didn’t want you. I understand that. My parents never wanted me. At least you had love for a while with yours.” He frowned.

“Maybe that made this all the worse. Maybe you’re the lucky one?” I whispered.

“Maybe.” He reached back out and took my hand again. “But we can only know each other’s trauma if we share it, right? You hide behind that wall of anger that you protect yourself with. I can see why. I hide behind my overflowing abundance of feelings that I wallow in and feel like I’m always about to drown. We’re both broken, and this place makes things worse. You know it, and I know it’s true. We’ve used sex and fame to replace any semblance of reality, and we have to figure out a way for us to be happy. We deserve it, don’t you think?”

I pulled him down and rested his head in my lap. Stroking his hair always soothed the beast that threatened to erupt if I gave in to my feelings. “The shit I’ve done, boo… I don’t know anymore. I'm not even sure who I really am right now, much less whatever the fuck I’m feeling. How could I ever let myself feel anything? I’m numb and not comfortable.”

“That’s a weird phrase.” He giggled.

“Never mind, babe.” I bent down and kissed his head. “Where are we going?”

“Just trust me, ok?” He sat back up and pulled me off the bed.

“I guess you’re one of the only people that I do.”

We snuck out of the house, and as soon as we made it outside, Jules put on the most giant pair of sunglasses I had ever seen.

“Very incognito,” I scoffed. “No one will even glance at you.”

“I know, right? Roam gave them to me.” He giggled as he grabbed my arm. “This way, stud. Being in the sun always makes me feel a little better. How about you? Come on.”

He pulled me down the street, and we walked towards Melrose. I knew where we were going. Jules had this place that he adored going to. His words, not mine. It was a tiny coffee shop with a fortune teller inside who would read your cards or tea leaves. He always tried to get me to go and have my fortune told. I had refused, but the coffeewaspretty great.

“I know that you don’t like this place,” he said apologetically.

“It’s not that. I just don’t like people preying on the weak.” The truth was – I was afraid it would be bad, and they would be right. Fate had not been very kind to me.

“I may look like… Well, act like a delicate flower, but I’m not weak, Ty.” He jutted out his bottom lip with consternation.

“I didn’t mean that.” I sighed.

“That’s not why we’re going there, anyway. We’re meeting Roam and Merc.”

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