Page 46 of For the Rest of Forever

And hehadalready had to call out three of the four days so far this week because he was obviously not well. His mind obviously needed some time to heal... or something. So maybe thiswasexactly what he needed. And when he’d pulled out his cell phone just before they’d gotten out of the SUV to head to the outside deck, he’d seen a text message from Annabeth telling him not to worry about a thing except relaxing and getting better.

Thatwaswhat he needed—to relax and get better. Or at least, he hoped that would be enough, that a quiet, relaxing weekend with his husband would be enough.

Greg slipped his cell phone into his pocket and then pressed a gentle kiss to Allen’s temple. “Darryl just texted me. He’s delivering everything to the cabin for us, so we don’t have to pick it up as we go through town, after all. We can just head straight there. And after we get settled in, I’ll make you dinner—filet mignon and asparagus and risotto.”

“Dinner sounds lovely. And Darryl—gosh, that’s so kind of him... I...” Allen shook his head and then settled it on Greg’s shoulder again. “I mean, that seems like a lot of trouble for him to go through just for us, and I . . .”

“He was happy to oblige, darling. In fact, when I called him earlier, he happened to already be in town and at the market. He was glad to help. Really.” Greg’s voice was some mixture of quiet and reassuring that just made the slightly uneven beating of Allen’s heart steady out.

“I might... not want to go out tonight. Or tomorrow. I-I’m not sure yet.”

“Perfectly understandable, and perfectly fine,” Greg murmured as he slipped his arm around Allen’s shoulders.

“But I understand if you wanted to—”

“—stay with you the whole time,” Greg cut in, though his voice was softer now. “I want to do whatever you want to do. And if thatmeans all we’re doing all weekend long is cuddling in bed, sign me right up.”

Allen huffed a short laugh. “Well, when you put it that way...”

“I have no plans and no expectations.” Greg’s hand rubbed up and down Allen’s upper arm, and Allen felt as Greg turned and pressed another kiss to his skin, this time just next to his ear. In a low voice, Greg whispered, “All I want is to take care of you”—kiss—“for the rest of forever.”

Hearing the sincerity in his husband’s voice sent rushes of emotion through him—a warm shiver first, followed by a wave of something more intense. Some combination of love and relief and safety. Allen closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath as Greg kissed his cheek one more time, then pulled Allen up against him a little tighter.

A few more passengers joined them and the rest of the crowd on the much-too-small outer deck, and the general chatter around them became a little louder. Allen could hear two little kids having some playful argument about what island was the one to the north and a young couple to their right talking about the best angle to take a selfie from. Another group was oohing and aahing over a flock of pelicans that had just taken flight to the south.

So many people just going about their lives.

He felt silly for a minute—almost embarrassed at how he couldn’t get rid of the dark thoughts in his head. How he couldn’t just be in the moment, enjoy all the small things around them. Like the giggling of the two little kids, the breeze of cool, salty air, the warmth of the sun shining overhead, the comfort of his husband’s embrace.

He opened his eyes again and found the flock of half a dozen or so brown pelicans gliding through the air, just feet above the top of the water. And he gave himself permission to just watch them. He tilted his head a bit to rest against Greg’s shoulder as thebirds continued skimming the water. Then, together, as though some silent signal passed between them, they all descended the final distance to settle into the water, causing the surface to ripple. A couple of them flapped their wings, and one lunged down and forward, submerging its head underwater, then floated upright again and lifted its beak up in the air, maybe swallowing a fish it had caught.

After another few minutes, when the birds were no longer in view, Allen closed his eyes again and took a long, deep breath. “How much longer until we have to head back down to the SUV?”

“Ten, fifteen minutes maybe,” Greg answered quietly.

“M’kay.”

“Are you okay? Did you want to go back down now? I know it’s, um, a little loud up here, and I don’t mind, either way.”

“No, I’m... This is comfortable here. It’s nice. I’m good.” He turned his head and tilted it back a little. Greg was watching him with a soft smile, his expression hopeful and full of love. He stretched up as Greg dipped down, and their lips met in a short, sweet kiss.

When they parted, Greg was still smiling, and he reached up and cupped Allen’s cheek before leaning in to kiss his forehead. Then, they both went back to looking out across the water as the ferry continued on its route.

Chapter Nineteen

Greg

Greg pulled the SUVup to the cabin, put it in park, and then shut off the engine. Everything looked perfect, as it always did here. Peaceful, quiet. He hoped he’d made the right decision—that this trip would be exactly what Allen needed. Time away from everything that had been causing him anxiety. Time to rest and relax and let himself be cared for.

God, he hoped it would be enough.

He glanced sideways at Allen, who’d been sitting quietly in the passenger seat since they’d left the ferry terminal. He was staring out toward the water now, but as though he sensed Greg watching, he turned to Greg and seemed to force a small, unconvincing smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Greg’s stomach twisted just a little as he reached out and took Allen’s hand, then brought it to his lips and placed a soft kiss on Allen’s ring finger, just above his wedding ring. It was okay. Itwould all be okay. They had time—several days of time to focus on nothing else.

And he didn’t doubt for one minute that Allen’s real smile—the one he’d fallen in love with thirty-three years ago—was still there. He’d seen little glimpses of it earlier on the ferry, and he’d seen it yesterday too, when they’d been cuddling in bed and talking about low-stress things... like this vacation.

So he knew it was still there. He’d just have to work hard to bring it back more reliably.

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