Page 57 of Imperfectly Perfect

“Oh I…” Savannah curled up on the bed, folding in on herself. She moved so that most of her body was covered even though she was still naked, her large breasts peeking out from behind her arms the only hint of what they’d been moving toward in the last five minutes. “I wouldn’t think otherwise.”

“Why would I care about whether or not sex looks good?” Fallon furrowed her brow, still keeping her eyes on Savannah. What was going on? She was more confused now than she was before. This could just be another insecurity popping up, butit could be something else too, and Fallon wasn’t sure which seemed more plausible.

“I don’t know,” Savannah mumbled.

Fallon could see Savannah shutting down and closing in on herself even more. But she wasn’t sure if it was even her place to try to pull Savannah out. They were fuck buddies, right? Nothing more. Fallon steadied herself, moving through option after option of the direction she could take the conversation, one that would land them both naked in bed, but she wasn’t finding it.

Because they weren’t in a relationship.

“Will you come here?” Savannah asked.

Fallon was shaking her headnobefore she knew what she was doing. Her entire body was tight with tension and fear. “I won’t fight this battle for you.”

“What battle?” Savannah sounded confused.

Fallon couldn’t blame her. She wasn’t doing a good job explaining. “I want to be here tonight. I want to fuck you into oblivion, and I want you to do the same to me. That’s why I’m here. Nothing else.”

“I know that.” Savannah frowned. She reached for the blanket on the end of the bed and started to pull it toward herself. “You’ve made that very clear from day one. You don’t want anything to do with me but sex.”

But that wasn’t right. Fallon hadn’t made that clear from day one. She’d tried to make it clear, even for herself, and yet each time she’d thought about Savannah there had been more to their relationship than Fallon had wanted to admit.

“That’s what we agreed to,” Fallon said slowly, her voice lower and quieter than she expected. She just wanted to be wrapped up in Savannah already, pressed between her legs and lost in the sensations and touches that she knew Savannah would elicit.

“You’re right. It is.” Savannah pulled her lower lip between her teeth and raised her gaze to meet Fallon’s. “And I’m not sure why. I’m not very good at this.”

“Jesus Christ,” Fallon muttered, back to that tension that she’d just thought was lessening. “What the hell did he do to you, Savannah?”

“Wh-what?”

“What did he do? Because this woman, this pitiful excuse for a woman isn’t who you are. And I can’t make you believe otherwise. It’s not my job to show you that you’re different than what he told you. I can’t fight your bad self-esteem for you.” The outburst left a wake of energy rumbling through Fallon’s body, but she could already feel the fallout happening. She could already feel Savannah pulling away from her even more, being fearful from her outburst of emotion.

Savannah shook her head slowly from side to side. “This was a bad idea.”

“It really was.” Fallon reached for her waistband and immediately zipped up her slacks and slid the hooks together again. “The sex was fun while it lasted, Savannah. It really was.”

Fallon moved her hands up to her shirt and started with the buttons. They were mismatched, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to get dressed enough so she could get out of this room and out of the apartment.

“That’s it?” Savannah squeaked. “You’re just leaving.”

“I told you that I’m not going to fight your battles for you. I don’t know what’s in your past, but I’m not going to let you degrade yourself in front of me.” Fallon grabbed her jacket from the floor and slipped her heels onto her feet. Reaching for the doorknob, she froze when Savannah’s voice hit her.

“I never asked you to fight them.”

Fallon’s shoulders hurt from how tight they were. She closed her eyes and debated whether or not to look over her shoulder.

“I’m not a perfect person, Fallon. And if you expected that, then your expectations are out of bounds. No one’s perfect. Not even you.”

“I never asked for perfection,” Fallon said as she looked at Savannah, wrapped in the blanket on the bed. Fallon had taken her heart and ripped her to shreds. When had it come to this? When had they allowed themselves to break their own rules, rules that they had set from the very beginning.

“Of course you didn’t.” Savannah wrinkled her nose. “You just asked for sex with no emotional connection at all while you asked to be my friend in the same breath. You help my daughter make breakfast and talk to her like you care and then walk out like you can’t be bothered with either of us. Yet somehow, you want all of us to remain unaffected by your presence, as if you make no dent in our lives at all. Well, that’s bullshit, Fallon. You have made a dent. A fucking large one.”

“I didn’t ask for this!” Fallon whipped around and pointed her finger at Savannah. Anger surged through her, not just bubbling, but all out exploding straight from her tongue. Hints of her father in each of the words she spewed. “I didn’t want this. You changed the rules. You broke them.”

“We both did!” Savannah shouted back. “I never claimed to be perfect, but you have. You think you have your life all figured out, but I don’t think you do. I think you keep everyone at arm’s length because you’re too damn scared of what might happen if you get close to someone.”

Fallon’s heart sank. Was she that transparent? How the hell had Savannah figured that one out? Fallon’s heart thudded so hard it was difficult to breathe. It clogged up her throat, reminded her just how tight her chest was with tension. Fallon stared, bewildered.

“Fuck you. No one is perfect.”

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