Page 3 of Shadow's Sinner

“You both can be excused now,” Dad says.

Lilianna and I stand from the table. She makes her way to her room as I rush towards the bathroom down the hall. Flinging the door open, quietly shutting it behind me, hoping not to alert anyone, I throw myself down on my knees in front of the toilet. The powder-blue tiles of the bathroom dig into my knees and shins, causing indents to appear. Throwing the toilet lid up, I hunch my torso over the bowl and plunge my fingerdown my throat. It hits the back of my throat, bouncing off the uvula, making me heave with nothing coming up. I do it again, reaching farther down, barely making it back up before vomit spews into the toilet bowl. The taste of liver and acid coating my tongue made me more nauseous than I was before. I vomit again, coating the bowl with a nasty brown color, bits of partially chewed liver floating to the top.

Once I’ve emptied my entire stomach and the only thing making it back up is stomach acid, I reach up and flush the contents down the toilet. It takes me a few times before the toilet is sparkling clean again. Shakingly, I make my way to my feet, heading to the sink to grab my toothbrush and toothpaste. I squeeze the minty paste onto my brush and thrust it into my mouth, aggressively brushing to get the taste of liver and vomit out. I take the extra steps to use mouthwash and a water flosser, ensuring no trace of the vileness is left.

Taking a deep breath to pull myself together, I open the bathroom door to make my way back to the kitchen. I pick up the dishes from the table and take them to the sink. I grab the sponge and dish soap and begin my chores for the evening.

It’s late in the evening when I finish my chores. I’m exhausted and ready to climb into my twin-size bed. I shut the light off in the kitchen and turned just to almost run into Lilianna.

“I heard you,” she says, leaning against the wall.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” I go to move around her, only for Lilianna to step in my way.

“You know exactly what I mean,” she hisses, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’ll say it again. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but there’s no way to be completely silent while throwing your guts up.

“You think you’re such a good girl, but you’re not fooling anyone,” Lilianna sneers, smirking at me.

I bite my inner cheek, refusing to let her enter my head. Lilianna enjoys playing games. She’s wicked and downright mean.

“Please move. I want to go to bed,” I mutter through clenched teeth.

“They’re going to find out sooner or later,” Lilianna continues to egg me on. “Just remember that.”

Lilianna’s eyes scan over my body, causing me to shift on my feet. I don’t like her eyes on me, and I don’t like her thinking she knows better than me.

She slowly moves out of the way, allowing me to leave the kitchen. My hands stay fisted at my side, and I have the urge to make myself throw up again as my brain tricks me into believing that the liver is stuck in my throat.

“Oh, by the way, Dad and Mom want to see you in his office.” She laughs, turning around to the kitchen.

I close my eyes, my nails digging into my palms.It’s okay, just breathe.But that doesn’t do anything to calm the nerves sinking into my skin. I blink my eyes open, glancing over at the door.Run.It’s not the first time I thought about running away.Where would I go? I have no friends, I have no other family, there’s no one. I’m alone in this world. Sure there’s Travis, but he’s too new.

I suck in a breath, my feet carrying me towards Dad’s office. His door is closed, and I can hear hushed voices inside. My hands shake as I lift and rap my knuckles on the wood. Their voices immediately stop before I hear Dad say, “Come in.”

I twist the doorknob and push it open. Dad sits at his desk while Mom stands off to the side.

“Sit down, Child,” Dad says, motioning to the chair across from the desk.

I bite my bottom lips, pulling the door closed behind me before I sit stiffly in the chair.

“Your mother and I have been discussing it, and we would like to do something special for your birthday,” Dad announces.

My eyes widened, confused and startled that this was what he wanted to talk about. I for sure thought he would comment about me forgetting what class I was supposed to be studying for.

“You’re turning eighteen. It’s a big milestone,” he says, leaning back in his chair.

I nod my head, unsure of what to say.

“The church is picking six girls to go on a camping trip this weekend, and we think you should go for your birthday.” Dad doesn’t bat an eye as he talks. I glance between Mom and Dad, not believing a single word he’s saying. What he’s saying can’t be true, can it? Our whole lives have been spent between school and the church. There’s no way this isn’t a joke.

“Honey, say something,” Mom says with irritation radiating through her voice.

“I-I, that sounds wonderful.” My voice shakes.

“It is wonderful. You’ll leave tomorrow after school.” Dad smiles at me.

“Why me?” I blurt out. I know they hate being questioned, but it doesn’t make sense why they’re suddenly letting the noose break away.

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