Page 69 of Love and War

“If you're sure,” she mumbled, as I opened the fridge, searching around. “I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” she whispered.

That stopped me in my tracks, the fridge abandoned. I was at her side in two seconds, my hands cupping her cheeks. Her eyes widened, and she stiffened. I didn’t like that.

“Who the fuck told you that?” I growled. Because whoever it was, was going to die. A very slow fucking death. Aziza was anything but that. She was perfect and wonderful.

She opened her mouth before closing it again. I didn’t like that either, she never did that before. She always told me what was on her mind, no matter what. She told me everything, and now she hid things.

“Aziza, who told you that?” I tried to soften my tone, but fuck was it difficult.

“Holly,” she casually said before adding, “and you.”

“I must have heard you wrong, because I have never,never,called you an inconvenience, nor would I.” I could feel my anger getting the best of me. But fuck, how could she think that’s how I thought about her.

Because you left and never told her why. Still haven’t.

I ignored the rational side of my brain, telling me I needed to tell her. She was safe, and no one would hurt her again. I wouldn’t let them. I couldn’t tell her Luca was the reason, and for some reason he was obsessed with her.

“Is that what you think I think about you?” I asked, brushing my thumb against her cheekbone.

She almost didn’t say anything until finally she leaned into my hands. “No, I know you don’t. I don’t know why I said that. You’d do anything for me, and I know that.” She smiled weakly at me.

“Anything, moya Printsessa. I don’t care what it is. Want me to cook you something different after telling me you wanted one thing? I’ll cook anything, whatever it is. Want a drink but don’t want to move from the couch or bed, I’ll get it for you. Need me to grab pads from the store because you ran out, I’ll get you more. Fuck you don’t even need to wear any, bleed all over the place. I don’t give a fuck; I’ll clean all of it up. You’re not an inconvenience, Aziza, and you won’t ever be. Tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” she mumbled, her tongue darting to lick her lips. My gaze locked on her plumped lips. It’d been so long since I’ve kissed her, and now the urge to claim her mouth was so overwhelming.

“I’m going to kiss you now, tell me to stop if anything hurts,” I mumbled before pressing my mouth against hers. Aziza grunted against my lips, sealing them. My tongue pressed against her lips, seeking entry. Finally, she opened her mouth, letting me in. And fuck, I would never get used to the feel of her mouth against mine. She moaned against me, her good arm snaking around the side, grabbing onto the back of my shirt.

“Fuck,” I whispered against her mouth. Thrusting my tongue back into her mouth, I wanted her to choke on my tongue. I needed her more than she ever could understand.

We kissed and kissed. Barely breathing, our tongues fighting for dominance. Her little moans turned into pants. I wanted nothing more than to strip her naked, and bury myself into her channel, but I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t hurt her.

Breaking away from her mouth, Aziza kept her eyes closed, breathing heavily. I could feel her trying to word her argument together.

“K—”

“Moya Printsessa, we have to stop, I don’t want to hurt you.”

She finally opened her eyes, tears filling them instantly.

“Please don’t cry.” I couldn’t bear it if she started crying. I couldn’t stand it; I would do anything for her. Anything, but I couldn’t hurt her. This I couldn’t do.

“I can still tell you, m—my brain, right?”

I smiled, remembering when I told her whatever thought went on in her head I wanted to know. I didn’t care what it was, I wanted to know.

“Of course.”

“Do you still love me?” she blurted out. This was the first time she’d been vulnerable since I’ve been back.

“Aziza Iris, I’ve loved you since day one. You wore that ugly purple flower shirt. I loved you then and I love you now.”

I don’t know if she believed me or not. But I would spend the rest of my days showing her. I didn’t care what it took, I’d show her that I made a mistake by leaving. I’d prove to her that I was all in.

30

Aziza

AfterKilliantoldmehe still loved me, he made me chicken nuggets, and we watchedKarate Kid.I was thankful he left it at my question, and we didn’t talk about it. I was feeling vulnerable, and the moment I asked, I wanted to take it all back. I felt uncomfortable and I could feel myself wanting to shove him away and run away. Though I couldn’t because my damn body was still broken.

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