Page 30 of Love and War

“Aziza…”

“I’m here,” I rushed out. I wasn’t though. I’m wasn’t sure about anything I was feeling. My eyes were locked onto the small string he had on his shirt.

“Three things you see.”

“Huh?” My breath came out ragged.

“Tell me three things you see.”

“The string on your shirt, the-the speck of gray you have in your eyes. And the small freckle you have above your eyebrow.”

A small smile appeared before saying, “Two things you feel.” Cupping my face, his hands were rough but the softest touch.

“You and little miss in my arms.”

“Very good, moya Printsessa,” he murmured. “And one thing you smell?”

“You. You smell woodsy, the cologne you always wear because I love the smell of it. You don’t smell like smoke anymore.” I hadn’t realized the last two times I’ve seen him, I hadn’t smelled cigarette smoke on him.

He smirked knowingly. “Yeah, I stopped.”

“Why?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

“Because you didn’t like it,” he said as if it was simple, but it wasn’t. Nothing about it could be that simple.

He was still cupping my face, his eyes burning into me. I don’t know what he was seeing, or why he needed to stare at me so insistently. It made me shiver with the force under his gaze. This was how he used to look at me.

“Bu—I mean, I don’t understand.”

“It’s that simple, Aziza, we’ll talk at the house. Let’s finish up here, get some food, and check your blood sugar.”

My heart ached with him knowing that I needed to check my blood sugar. He was always on me about checking it, making sure I was at the level that it needed to be.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” I confirmed. Killian stared at me for a moment before nodding his head. “Step in front of the cart.”

Guiding me to the front, he wrapped his arms around me placing them on the cart's bars before we began walking towards the front.

Neither of us spoke as he loaded everything up and paid. He made me sit inside the car while he put the cat supplies inside and took the cart back to the store. I stayed quiet as he headed out and back to the house. I didn’t know what to say. I was confused on how I felt.

He left me with no word. He broke my heart, dropped me like I was nothing. He had promised me I was it for him, that I was the one. I loved him more than I loved anything. He was literally a part of me.

And to just leave me.

No note.

Not a footnote. There was nothing left of him, so I tried finding him. And I was the best hacker. So he disappeared without a trace. And that hurt. The fact that he didn’t trust me. That he didn’t care enough to tell me why he left.

Even now.

There’s been no word on why he left me behind. So I couldn’t trust him. As much as he brought me comfort, as much as I wanted to fall back, headfirst, into loving him. Accepting Killian back into my heart would kill me.

11

Devil

Ihatethemboth.I thought after he left, she would learn to not be toxic. I wanted to give her a chance. I wanted to leave her alone.

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