Page 66 of Love and War

Pulling the plug, the water drained before he grabbed a large towel and placed it over me. Wrapping his arms under my thighs and around my back he lifted. Not even grunting or straining as he did. My heart fluttered at the fact he’s taking care of me.

I shouldn’t.

But he’s making it difficult to not let myself just fall at his feet and beg him to love me again. He set me down on the counter before carefully drying off the rest of my body, mindful of the bruises and cuts along the way.

Carrying me back to the room, I tried not to tense. Glaring at the godawful thing.

He must have felt it because before he set me down, he eyed me from the corner of his eye. “What?”

“Do you hate me?” I found myself whispering.

“What, no. No, I don’t hate you.” He didn’t even hesitate. It should have made me happy, but something was wrong.

Looking back over at the bed, I accepted the fact I was going to just be hanging out here by myself. Again.

“Aziza,” he whispered.

I couldn’t look at him. Something was wrong with my emotions, and I didn’t feel in control anymore. I wanted to keep him at arm’s length, but he was also taking care of me. And he was here. With me again.

I blamed the baby I had yet to tell him about. Or ask about since I have no idea if it even survived.

“Want to go watchSave the Last Dance?” he asked, breaking from the panic attack I was nearing.

I couldn’t speak, tears welling in my eyes as he asked me. My heart swelled. He remembered. I told him once, once when I was eight and he was twelve. He told me we’d watch it one day.

And he remembered.

29

Killian

Idon’tknowwhyI spoke to her in Russian, instead of just having an actual conversation with her. I guess it was just easier. As much as I wanted to be around her, I struggled with seeing that mark on her face. A mark she had yet to see, and I wasn’t sure how she was going to react to it.

When I barely noticed it in the hospital, I stared at it for so long I was sure I was going crazy and seeing things. I even asked four different nurses about it. But it was true. The “X” was mocking me.

With her being awake now, I knew we were going to get into arguments. I knew she was going to pick fights, because that’s what she always did when she needed attention. I was a little surprised it took her three days.

Yet when she screamed, my heart dropped. Even now while we sat on the couch, she was lying with her legs on my lap. My heart felt heavy in my stomach. I was in the middle of making her lunch, something besides soup, she had to be tired of that. And when I got into my room, where she appeared fine, I was moments from wrapping my hands around her neck and giving her another reason to scream.

Even before she said anything I knew what she needed. Aziza was religious about showering. I swear I think she never went a day or hell twelve hours without showering. Even if I was giving her sponge baths, I knew it wasn’t enough.

When we were done, I was going to put her back into bed. She tensed so much that I thought she saw something or someone. It was like she was afraid. Only when I asked if she wanted to watch her favorite movie, did she give me a glimpse of the old her.

My gaze shifted from the movie to her stomach.

“The wonderful news is the baby survived.” The nurse smiled at me, while I stared down at Aziza's broken form.

Wait–

“Did you say baby?” I asked, my voice rough.

“Oh… did–did you not know?” Suddenly the nurse looked ready to bolt from the room.

“What are you talking about?” I asked again, forcing my body not to step forward and scare her. It was the last thing either of us needed right now.

“Uh… well, she’s about five weeks along. We normally ask, but since she was, well, unconscious we did an ultrasound, and confirmed it with her physician.”

“So, she knows she’s pregnant?” I once again asked, sounding completely stupid.

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