Page 64 of Love and War

Now thinking about what I just did, I wanted to cringe. I shouldn’t have screamed, maybe I should have just yelled for him. Done anything else other than scream like a child.

But damn it, he was making me crazy. He was hurting my brain; I was smart but couldn’t read between the stupid lines he seemed to be drawing.

I mean, sure, I was almost twenty-four but, fuck. He made me feel like a small child, with the hovering, barely speaking to me. It made me angry, and with me not being able to do anything but lie here and think about everything I sure as helldid notwant to think about.

So, I screamed.

And now I was going to pick a fight.

“We need to talk.” I grinned.

I tried not to laugh as he flinched back. Completely shocked that was all I wanted.

I shrugged my shoulders the best I could manage, trying to hide my wince.

“You, you screamed.”

“I did.”

“Youscreamed,at the top of your lungs.” His eyes narrowed down at me.

“I did.”

“Aziza. Iris. Sinclair.” The way he said my name was doing things to my body. Things that I couldn’t act on, not only because I was in a way broken, but because I couldn’t keep letting him into my body.

“Killian Rivan Amery,” I smirked back.

“I cannot believe you just screamed at the top of your lungs, and for what?” Crossing his arms over his chest, I wanted to beg him to come hold me.

I opened my mouth and then closed it, just to open and close it again. I could just tell him the truth, that I wanted to pick a fight just so he would be near me. That I hated the fact he couldn’t stand to be around me because I didn’t understand. Why did he hate me all of a sudden? I didn’t understand.

So instead of saying anything I just flicked my gaze back to the window. He could leave, I didn’t want him anymore. I wanted to be by myself. I didn’t need him; I didn’t want him.

Liar.

My breath hitched as Killian started stalking towards me, but I didn’t dare look up at him. Even when he mumbled my name.

My eyes stung as I refused to cry. No crying in front of this man. Absolutely not.

Tipping my chin up with his thumb and pointer finger, I closed my eyes. Shit, I needed to get hold of myself. Honestly.

“Moya Printsessa,” he murmured. His breath hit my face. Why was he so close? “Come on, open those beautiful hazel eyes. I need them on me.”

Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to be so freaking sweet? I couldn’t handle it when he got like that. I became like goo in his hands, even if he did break my heart.

Forcing my eyes open, I held in my tears as I looked up at him. He almost looked sad, for reasons I had no idea.

“I need to shower,” I muttered, unable to say anything else, plus I did need to actually shower or bathe. To actually sit in some water and have actual soap.

“Aziza…” I knew he was going to tell me I should rest, that I needed to take it easy. But fuck, what I needed was to shower, eat something other than soup, and get out of this room. It was suffocating.

“Please, I need to get up. I can’t stay in here—”

“You need to stay here, Aziza.”

Letting out a sigh I tucked that away. “No, I mean I can’t stay in this room. I need to get out, I can’t stay right here. I need to move; I need to do something. I’m going crazy.” I should’ve stopped talking, but once my mouth was opened, it seemed like I just couldn’t. “I need a shower, a bath, something with actual hot water. Soap, and I need my hair to be washed, and god my teeth. I need to brush my teeth over a damn sink and no—”

“I got it.” Killian stopped me from just running my mouth. “You probably can’t shower. No, don’t give me that look. I said shower, but I suppose a bath, I can help you with that.”

---