Page 88 of Psychological War

Shaking my head, I didn’t want to hear her apologize for being afraid. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. All I wanted was her. I needed her.

“Listen, plea-please,” she begged. “It was you; it has always been you. From the moment I broke your nose almost five years ago. It was you, you saved me from myself, and I’m sorry I never told you. I love you.” She coughed, blood spewing from her mouth. “I lost myself when they were murdered, but you, you gave it back to me.” More blood spewed from her mouth. I could hear the sounds behind me, but the only thing I truly heard was her. “It’s okay, you’ll make it through this. I’m okay… I don’t even feel it…” Her voice slowed.

Everything faded before my eyes. Her eyes closed, as her breathing stopped.

“NO, NO, NO, FUCK. SALEM!” I screamed, my hands pounding at her chest, unsure of what I was doing. Not even as I felt two pairs of hands grab and drag me away from her.

***

One month later

“Hey.”

My body tensed and my legs almost fell from the bed they rested on. Looking up from my lap, I stretched my sore muscles over my head, groaning as my shoulder popped and everything felt like I was hit by a train.

“Any news?” Mila asked, closing the door behind her. Shaking my head, I focused back on the window. I didn’t want company. “Here, Killian made some turkey wraps and there are some other things in there for you,” she said handing me a large box and a cup of steaming coffee.

“Thank you,” I murmured while taking a large drink of coffee.

“You should go home and shower,” Mila whispered. They always tried to get me to leave and either shower or just get out of the room. I just couldn’t.

I couldn’t leave. I left once before, and now I refused to let her out of my sight. I had security surrounding her entire room, along with the fact that she was on her own floor. That way I could work out and still keep an eye on her.

It had been one month since my world imploded in front of my eyes, where everything went to hell. I couldn’t do anything. We were too late. I was too late. There was so much blood, so much.

I hadn’t even realized I was staring at my hands, my entire body shaking.

“Zane?” Mila whispered. Looking over at her, tears welled in her eyes. I couldn’t take it if she cried again. “I’m so sorry.”

I couldn’t tell her it was okay because it wasn’t. None of it was okay. I was broken. And the only one who would and could truly fix me was in a coma, unsure when or if she would wake up.

34

Salem

Two months since the accident

Darknesswasholdingontome with no chance of letting me go in sight. The only thing I felt was soreness, and someone's hands holding my own. But these hands were much bigger than my own, but they felt nice. They felt like home.

“Salem… Come on, Kitten, you gotta wake up.” His voice was soothing all the pain I felt. I could feel his lips pressed against my ear as he spoke. His breath was hot against my skin, but this felt natural. “I’m kind of losing my mind here, beautiful. It's been so long since I’ve seen those bright blue eyes. I kind of need them right now.” Something warm and wet landed on my neck. Was he crying?

Wake up? What could he be talking about?I tried opening my eyes, but they wouldn’t. I tried moving my hand but again nothing.Why couldn’t I move?

“I have those feelings for you, the words you spoke to me. But I’m not saying it to you while you’re asleep here. So wake up, you hear me? I need you to wake up,” he begged over and over again.

I wanted to fight the darkness that felt so heavy, taking me over again. I wanted to hear his words. I needed them. I’ve missed so much, but even with my eyes closed, everything felt like too much. I felt too heavy.

Until everything faded.

He never leaves.

I know he barely talks, even when others come into the room. But I always felt the side of the bed dip, along with his hand always holding my own. My heart ached and cried for him. I needed to tell him I was here. That I’m right here with him. But nothing I did worked. I felt them poking at my skin, changing my IVs, even the softness of someone braiding my hair, and brushing it out.

But nothing I did would allow me to wake up.

“You know this is the first time I think he’s actually left the building since you’ve been here. He made everyone clear this floor out, it’s kind of creepy to be honest.” He let out a low chuckle. “I can’t wait for you to see the big guy. If you thought he was huge before… man. He’s changed you know.” His voice whispered closer to me, “It’s my fault you know, he never wanted to leave you. I got into his head, and it’s all my fault. I don’t trust well, and when I knew something was up with you, I voiced all my concerns to them.”

I begged my body to open my eyes, to look at Dimitri and tell him I forgave him, that I was just too stubborn to let them in. That it wasn’t all his fault.

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