Page 80 of Psychological War

I had no idea where he was.

After Aziza told us Salem crawled back into the heartless person she was before, it broke me. I hated that I did that to her. I was ready to get in the car and drive all the way back down to her. To beg her to forgive me, that I would do whatever she needed. Be whatever she needed.

Then she told me about her being Ghost, and that she was the one who broke my nose four years ago. I wasn’t sure if I was angry or fine with that information. Sure I wasn’t happy about my nose being broken, but from her reputation, she hadn’t killed me. I was there lying on the ground. She could have easily killed me.

“Uh, boss?” Dean's stern voice startled me. Jolting me from my thoughts I barely had the energy to look up. “Zane!” he snapped, Dean may be the head of our men, who reported back to me. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t lay his ass out right here.

“What!” My own voice jumped out. The tension in the house was becoming unbearable. Until the door was thrown open and I glanced at who thought they could just walk into the house. Why the guards outside had not stopped them was beyond me.

Until I saw who it was.

Salem stumbled across the doorstep, carrying my favorite shaggy-headed person on her back. Her eyes found me the moment she walked in. Dimitri rushed into the living room, Mila hot on his trail. Mila gasped before she ran over, taking Tobias off her back.

“Oh my god, my baby!” she screamed.

I stood there, frozen. Salem was staring at me, her eyes half closed, and then suddenly she turned on her heel and began stumbling out the door.

Dimitri came up behind me, his hand resting on my shoulder. “If you want her, go.”

Looking over at him, I could see all the seriousness in his voice and his eyes. He knew Salem meant something to me. I loved her. But I also couldn’t understand what was stopping me from taking a step towards her.

“She’s hurt, Zane, go to her.” Dimitri's voice was stern. Nodding my head I ran out the door, but she was gone. Salem was nowhere to be seen.

31

Salem

Ifeltlikemybody was shutting down; everything hurt. But the worst was my heart. My heart hurt the worst.

Seeing him was like a punch straight to my chest, and everything was coming back to me. I wanted to forget him, I wanted to get on with my life. I never wanted to see Zane again. Whenever I thought about him it hurt. I was tired of hurting. I was so tired. Tired of wanting revenge for my family and tired of missing and hurting Zane.

I let Zane into my life, and it destroyed me. I wanted to hate him, I wanted to march back to the house he was staying at and take all my anger out on him. But I couldn’t.

I loved him.

As much as I wanted to refuse, as much as I realized some part of me must have known that a long time before it was even possible.

“Salem?” someone said from above me. Opening my eyes the best I could, I hadn’t even realized I had fallen on the ground. Or that I had my eyes closed at all. “What the fuck are you doing?” Tyler ran towards me.

I didn’t speak. I couldn’t.

The moment he reached me, he gasped. I must have looked as terrible as I felt. After I’d left the weird building where Carlos's brother was holding me, I didn’t think as I drove Tobias to where he remembered staying. I don’t even know how I drove there and drove to Tyler’s.

I tried my best to stand up, but the moment I put any pressure on my wrist, the pain shot into my arm towards my shoulder. Gritting in pain I fell back down.

“Fuck, fuck, okay stay here.” Tyler freaked out, running his hands into his hair, giving me one final look before running towards his house again. I wanted to say, “I’ll be right here, I’m not going nowhere.”But my voice wouldn’t work. Nor did I want to truly say anything. I just wanted to close my eyes. I just needed to rest. Just for a little bit.

“No, no, no, no,” I faintly heard someone say, but sleepiness was stronger. And at least there, I couldn’t think about him.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

It rang over and over again. The faint sound of the air blowing had my brows furrowed. I felt my body wrapped in a warm cocoon. It was beginning to become too warm. My skin felt sticky, warm, and hurt. My ribs first started to throb, and then everything else hurt. I don’t think there was a single part of me that didn’t ache and scream in protest.

Without opening my eyes, my one hand reached for the IV in my other hand. I wanted to rip it out; it was too uncomfortable.

“No, don’t do that.” My hand stopped mid pull. I didn’t want to open my eyes and see who it was. I just wanted to get these wires out of my damn hand.

“He’s not here.” I didn’t want to know where he was. I couldn’t care, and I didn’t want to care.

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