Page 52 of Psychological War

“Mila?”

“Hmmm.”

“Do they know about me?” I asked. I didn’t want anyone knowing Mila and I knew each other. It brought questions, which I would have to answer. I couldn’t have that, not when I was trying to finish this.

“I haven’t said anything.”

Nodding my head, I turned around and looked out the kitchen window. Not even with my best friend. Aziza always joked about how I never knew what to say, and it was true. I didn’t socialize well. I didn’t know how to make small talk.

I just knew the moment I heard his voice on the phone. Speaking Italian. His men were ordered to attack Dimitri’s house. The protectiveness washed over me. I disliked Dimitri and Killian and his fucking smile. Zane was someone I found myself relating to. But then Mila and Tobias were upstairs. Even if my brain told me to leave them, my body wouldn’t let me. I had to protect them at all costs.

“Is there a reason you don’t want them to know?” Mila asked, breaking me from my thoughts. Turning around I watched as she began making a sandwich for Tobias.

“Not really. I mean, I don’t know. There are things about my past that no one needs to know. Not about me being there. I don’t need them knowing any of it. They’ll ask questions that I don’t want to be asked, and things I don’t want to answer.”

“You know they won’t look at you any different, right?”

Shrugging my shoulders I leaned against the kitchen sink. “Doesn’t matter either way. I just don’t need questions being asked.” I also no longer wanted to talk to her about this anymore. Saved by the bell, Tobias ran back into the kitchen, jumping onto one of the bar stools.

“So after lunch we watch movies?” he asked, shoving a bite of sandwich into his mouth.

“Tobias, don’t talk with your mouth full!” Mila sighed.

At the same time I asked, “What movie?”

“Mulan.”Mulan.I couldn’t help but give him a little smile. He had gotten into the bin of old VHS tapes that was in the closet. He had pulled them out and told us how he hadn’t seen that one.

“Sure, buddy, finish your lunch and I’ll get the movie ready.”

“You gots it.” He giggled, turning his attention to his mom. I slipped out of the kitchen and made my way into the living room.

I didn’t want to think about them, but I also couldn’t stop myself. The moment I bent down to collect the movie everything came back.

“Lee, do you think things will change when Toby gets here?” I asked curled up next to him on the couch. I didn’t want things to change. I liked the way everything was. I liked Lee being my older brother; he always protected me. Protected me from Emmy being mean to me and from the bullies in my dance class. He always protected me.

“Of course, things are going to change.” He laughed like it was no big deal. It was a big deal for me. I just didn’t tell them. I wanted a younger brother. I hated being the baby. I wanted to look after someone. I wanted to be like Lee; he kept me safe.

I must have been quiet for too long because the movie was paused, and Lee turned his full attention towards me. “Hey, don’t worry your little head about it. Mom and Dad will still love you all the same, and I will still be your big brother.” It was like he was reading my mind. “Plus, Mom let you name this one. You know what I wanted to name you?”

“What?” I jumped up excitedly. I had no idea Lee wanted to name me.

“Megatron.” He laughed, causing me to go into a fit of my own giggles.

“But I’m a girl!

“Yes, and a very cool girl, so don’t worry your little brain about it. You’ll always be in this family, and you’ll always be a pain in the ass.”

“LEE ANDREW GRAY!” Mom yelled from the kitchen. “No cussing.’”

Lee looked down at me smirking. “Like Mom isn’t a pain in the ass to us all.” He lunged for me, tickling my stomach.

Little did I know that would be the last time Lee cussed in front of me, and the last time I felt safe.

“Salem?” someone behind me said. Looking over my shoulder Mila stood there with Tobias next to her. While Tobias appeared happy and ready to jump in excitement, Mila was worried. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just zoned out there.” I tried to sound convincing. I had no idea if I truly sounded that way. “What’s up?”

“I asked if you would mind if I showered.”

---