Page 86 of Someone You Deserve

“I mean, you’re not getting any younger, Penn.” She giggles as she keeps stirring the contents of the bowl.

“Is it too early to start drinking?” I ask, moving to the fridge, but my mother blocks me.

“Yes. Now sit your butt down and relax. Your brothers will be here soon and you three can all gorge and drink until your heart’s content once they arrive.”

I head for the couch. “Sounds like a plan.”

By the time Willow, Dallas, and Parker arrive, I’m itching to take off the edge of irritation and fatigue I’ve been riding all morning. My brothers and I turn on football and relax while the girls dance around each other in the kitchen.

Mom always serves dinner around two on Thanksgiving so we can eat and then eat again later if we want. I sit back in my chair at our family dining room table and feast on turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, cornbread casserole, and cranberry sauce. My mom’s cooking just gets better and better as time goes on, but I watch her glance over to my father’s empty chair over and over again, and I can tell she’s struggling today.

Even though all her children are here, we will never be enough to fill that missing piece in her heart.

After everyone eats, I notice my mom walk back to her room, so I quietly follow her.

“Mom?” I call out to her as I open the door and see the bathroom light on through the crack in the door.

“I’ll be out in just a second.” I wait for her to shut the light off and open the door, and when she comes out, I can tell she’s been crying. “Penn? You’re still in here?”

“Did you think I’d leave you alone?” I motion for her to move toward me so I can hug her. “I’m sorry I can’t take away your pain, Mom.”

“Thank you. It’s just rough. The first holiday without him, and I…” She sniffles and sighs. “He was the love of my life, Penn. Words can’t express how much it hurts to lose that.”

The love of her life.

And is Astrid mine? I’m afraid that I already know the answer to that question.

“I’m sorry. I miss him too…Although I’m not so sure that he’d be happy with me right now.”

She rears back, looking up at me with confusion. “Why would you think that?”

Sighing, I motion for us to sit on the bed, side by side. “I kind of did something and I’m fairly certain Dad wouldn’t approve.”

“What did you do, Penn?” She grabs my hand, looking up at me nervously.

I look my mom dead in the eye and say, “I went after Astrid.”

Her eyes go wide. “Oh my goodness.” But then she smiles and the light in her eyes returns. “I have to say, I always wondered if you felt that way about her.”

“I did. I have for a long time, but I shouldn’t, Mom.” I hang my head and blow out a breath.

She places her hand on my knee. “Why not?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I mean, I can see why you might think that, but Brandon isn’t here, Penn. Have you two talked about it?”

“Not really. We’ve been…doing other things,” I say cautiously as my mother smirks. “But talking isn’t really one of them. I’m afraid to push her to talk to me about him, but I know that we need to. I feel like I need to.” I pound my fist on my chest, wishing the force would unwind the tightness there. “Life has just been crazy, and I’m not sure how to broach the topic with her. I want her to know that I’m serious about her, that I wouldn’t have acted on these feelings if I weren’t, but I also know that there are so many distractions and reasons we could use as reasons not to be together. How…” I take a deep breath and continue, “How do I get her to actually talk to me?” My mother hums. “We don’t exactly get a lot of alone time to talk either,” I add. “There’s always a kid, or a job, or…”

My mother squeezes my hand. “You take her away.”

“What?”

“Out of town, away from Carrington Cove so it’s just the two of you with no one else around.”

I brush a hand through my hair. “It’s only been a few weeks and I’m already sick and tired of sneaking around, Mom.”

“Then all the more reason to do this. Show her what it would be like if you two were a real couple.”

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