Page 65 of Someone You Deserve

“Yes, baby.”

But before I can reach into my purse to grab cash, a large hand I would recognize anywhere slides right in front of my face and hands a stack of tokens to my daughter. “Here you go, Lilly Bear.”

“Thanks, Uncle Penn!” Scrambling to keep the tokens in her tiny hands, she puts them all in her pockets and then scurries off. Penn stays standing behind my chair, not saying anything. But I feel him.

I always feel him.

“Having a good time?” he asks, his voice low but steady.

Too scared to face him, I look down at my hands and manage a shaky, “Yeah.”

“Good.”

“You?” I ask, wishing he’d give me any clues as to what he’s been thinking.

“Absolutely. The boys did incredible today. I’m proud of how they played.”

“You should be. You and Dallas are exceptional coaches, Penn.”

“Thank you.”

I reach for my water and take a sip, clearing my throat.

“We need to talk,” Penn says quietly, leaning down so his mouth is right by my ear. When I slowly turn to the side, he places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Not here.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Can I come over later?” he asks, his voice deep and gravely now.

“Probably shouldn’t. My mom is supposed to come by to congratulate Bentley.”

“Tomorrow night then?”

I swallow hard but then think the timing would be better. I’m supposed to talk to Willow tomorrow, right? Maybe she can help me make sense of everything that I’m feeling.

I know I told her earlier that this thing between Penn and me can’t happen, but I’d be lying if I said I actually meant it. Hell, just a glance at my nipples could tell you I’m lying.

I should have worn a thicker bra today.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” His finger dances along the skin right above the neckline of my shirt. “Looking forward to it. See you then, Astrid.” And then he walks away, acting like he didn’t just wreak havoc on my nervous system.

I let out the breath I was holding and watch Penn saunter across the room, dodging kids running through the restaurant and pausing to talk to parents every time they stop him.

He looks like he’s in control, and now I know from experience just how controlling he can be.

But he doesn’t look how I feel on the inside. He doesn’t look like his head is a mess or like he’s so on edge the slightest noise could scare the shit out of him. And I’m not sure how that’s possible given the huge boundary we crossed last night.

Before I can ponder things further, my phone vibrates on the table. The screen lights up and then I see a message from Dick—I mean, Richard. When I open it, my eyes read the words so fast that I have to read his text over again to make sure I read it right.

Richard:Hey, Astrid. Hope you’re having a great Saturday. Just texting to see when you might be available this week to reschedule our date. Let me know as soon as you can.

Sighing, I debate how to respond. But then my eyes find Penn across the room, helping Lilly with the Skee-Ball game, rolling the balls with enough force that she can actually score points. They’re smiling, laughing and giving each other a high-five, and right then I know what to do.

Me:Hey, Richard. Listen, I really appreciate you asking me out. I was sincerely flattered. But the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I think I’m just not ready to date yet. My life is crazy right now, and that wouldn’t be fair to you. I don’t have the time and attention to give to that part of my life right now. I hope you understand. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone, though.

When I hit send, I turn my phone over so the screen is down and then another parent comes over to talk about the bakery.

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