Page 12 of Someone You Deserve

I nod, swallowing down the lump in my throat that forms each time she asks for the chocolate so innocently. I hate that her memories of Brandon are so few. I think she loves the idea of him more than the actual time she can remember spending with him. He was gone on deployment almost half of her life up until he died.

“I love chocolate,” she mumbles around the first piece as she climbs into her chair, resting on her knees so she can reach the table.

Penn replies, “Just like your mom. In fact, I brought a special chocolate to share with her tonight.”

“Really?” I say, arching my brow at Penn.

He returns the gesture. “Yup.” Reaching into his bag, he takes out two Ferrero Rocher, the individually wrapped ones, and hands me one like he’s making a drug deal. And in a way, he might as well be. Penn knows these are my favorite decadent treat.

“Oh, you know me so well.” I take the chocolate from him, unwrap it, and pop it into my mouth.

Staring intently at me with eye contact that is borderline unnerving, he says, “I do, Astrid.”

Our eyes remain locked on one another, until Lilly breaks the moment. “I wanna play Uno!”

Snapping myself out of the electrically charged eye contact, I turn to her and smile. “Okay. Let’s play, baby.” I call over my shoulder, “Bentley! Get out here!”

Once we’re all settled, the blood bath begins. Call me unorthodox, but I take pride in the fact that both of my children are turning out to be highly competitive. We’re still working on graciously losing, but for the most part, their competitive nature is alive and well. They’re learning to be strategic, think ahead, and problem solve. It’s one of the best side effects of our game nights.

The ultimate repercussion though is the time we spend together, and the time that Penn gives us.

After Lilly calls Uno, Penn slaps her with a reverse card. “Aw, man!”

Penn chuckles as the order moves backward around the table. “Should have seen that coming, Lilly Bear.”

Bentley laughs and changes the color, which works out perfectly for me as I lay down another reverse card, skipping Lilly for a second time.

“That’s not fair, Mommy!”

Laughing, I say, “Life isn’t fair, baby girl. Betteryou learn that now.”

Penn and I successfully reverse the order two more times as Lilly grows beet red with frustration, then he slaps her with a draw four and you’d think the world was ending.

“Hey.” I place my hand on her arm, signaling her to breathe. “It’s just a game.”

“But I want to win!” Her bottom lip trembles and her eyes fill with tears.

“Sometimes you have to play a few rounds before you can win, Lilly Bear,” Penn says as he lays down his card, eyeing me across the table, his words feeling like they have a double meaning.

Lilly huffs and rearranges her cards in her tiny hands.

“I bet she still wins,” Bentley grumbles as the game continues, and in less than five minutes, Lilly is crowned the winner.

“I won! I won!” She fist pumps the air as she does laps around the living room, making Penn and me laugh and Bentley roll his eyes, a reluctant smile on his face.

“Yes, you won. Now, it’s time to get ready for bed.” I glance at the clock on the microwave.

“Aw, man,” Lilly grumbles as she and Bentley head toward the bathroom to brush their teeth.

“That one is going to be a force to be reckoned with,” Penn says, standing from his chair and stretching his arms above his head, giving me a glimpse of the sliver of skin between his shirt and the top of his jeans. That little happy trail I’ve seen a time or two always makes my thighs clench together.

God, it’s been too long since I’ve had sex.

“You don’t have to remind me.”

“She’s gonna be strong and fiery, just like her mother.” He glances at me over his shoulder as he begins cleaning up the cards.

“Ha. I don’t know about that. She’s got more moxie in that little body than I’ll ever have.”

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