Page 84 of Devoted

“Jess, can I just say something?” Piper speaks softly, pulling my eyes back to her. “Just a few months ago you were afraid that you would never find a man that would be your forever. And then you met Brooks. He broke down every wall you put up, asked you to trust him, and opened up to you in a way that is difficult for anyone to do, let alone a put together man. Don’t you think that if you only get ten, fifteen, or twenty years on this earth, that you deserve to be with him and he deserves you? Don’t you think that should be his choice?”

Tears spill over my cheeks as she explains to me how far I’ve come in my quest to find my forever, how Brooks quickly became the man I wanted everything with. I just don’t know that I have forever to give.

“What if I can’t give him children, Piper?”

“I have that same fear and obstacle, you know?” She counters.

“Shit, I know. And I’m sorry. I just…”

“And the only thing that helps me keep hope is Cash—it’s the man beside me that loves me no matter what. That’s what matters. I know he supports me and loves me even if I can’t give him the future I want to.”

Rachel leans forward. “I’d give anything for Luke to let me stand by his side and give him hope, Jess, even though I know his life has been anything but easy. We all fight battles, but it’s the people beside us that help us win.”

I crumble back in my chair as my two best friends stand and come over to me, holding me as I sob. I thought I could do this alone; I thought that’s what I wanted. But maybe I just need to accept that fact that although the tide has changed, my support system has not.

I just don’t know how to ask Brooks to be that for me when he’s already devoted to his mom.

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