Page 82 of Devoted

“Seriously,” I lower my voice, reaching for her hand. “How are you holding up?”

She shakes her head as tears build in her eyes. “I’ve been better.”

“Life just sucks sometimes,” I say in the most reassuring voice I can, soothingly rubbing my hands with hers as tears start to build in my eyes as well. Damn, I was doing so well until I saw how emotional she was. I feel so bad that after finally getting Luke to own up to his feelings for her, he pushed her away so soon.

“Yeah. It does,” she chokes out as she cries freely and I join her silently, hoping it doesn’t spark her curiosity. I pull her into my arms as Piper sits on the other side of her. “Why are you crying, Jess? Are you crying for me?” She asks as she pushes away.

“Uh… yeah. I just know how badly a broken heart feels.” Piper eyes me across the couch in one of those looks that’s calling my bullshit. I know she’s not going to let me get out of tonight without confessing to Rachel what’s going on with me. And as reluctant as I want to be about it, part of me knows that I want the two of them to be the only people I lean on through this.

But I’m going to prolong it as long as possible.

Instead, I wipe my face and try to shift the conversation to be more lighthearted. “You know what? I think we all just need to drown our sorrows in food tonight. So… Rach? Are you ready to consume mass quantities of carbs and calories and not give two fucks about it?” I hold my hand up like we’re pledging a sorority or something.

Rachel cracks a slight smile and equally tiny laugh. I count that as a win. “Sure.”

“Perfect. Piper, what’s the E.T.A. on the pizza?”

“Five minutes,” she replies, mock-saluting her. Piper and I both stand as I follow her into the kitchen, helping her put away the sundae supplies I brought for later. Calories do not count tonight.

“You know you’re going to have to talk to us tonight. I’m not letting you get out of that.”

I sigh as I place the ice cream in the freezer. “I know. And I will. But right now, can we just be there for Rachel?”

“Yes, I agree. At least tell me, has Dr. Lexington called you yet?”

I turn to face her and she registers the look on my face almost instantly. “I met with him this morning.”

“Oh, god.”

“It’s actually okay. I’ll explain later.”

She reaches for my hand just as the doorbell rings from the pizza delivery. “I’m here not matter what, Jess.”

I rest my other hand over our clasped ones. “I know.”

Once our plates are full and we settle into the couches, I turn the focus back on Rachel. “Okay, so I’m pretty sure you’ve filled Piper in on all the details, but I need to know what the hell happened,” I ask around a mouthful of food.

“Well, everything was fine until we had sex. It was like something happened that night. He was so sure it was what he wanted, but then the next day, he seemed off. I tried to chalk it up to him probably feeling all sorts of things having finally slept with another woman who wasn’t Hannah. You know?” Piper and I both nod. “But then he just became increasingly more distant as the week went on. It’s hard not to take that personally.”

I shake my head adamantly and then finish chewing my bite. “No, don’t play that game. This is not your fault. You have been nothing but amazing to that man and his son.” God, I feel like punching Luke right now for making Rachel question her worth.

“I know. But when Hannah’s parents came, that’s when the shit hit the fan.” She spends the next several minutes recounting their fight in the garage.

“I’m sorry, Rachel. I think he’s just scared.” Piper leans forward in her chair, reaching for her hand.

“I do too. But I can’t make that go away for him.”

I bob my head in agreement before becoming emotional again. “Exactly. He has to see the light. And he needs to be honest about what and who he wants… but sometimes being honest about things is hard.” My throat becomes scratchy when my emotion builds again. I haven’t cried in a few days and even after my meeting with Dr. Lexington this morning. And now because I let a few tears free earlier, I feel like my body is about to let the damn break.

“Jess, is there something you need to talk about? I feel like you’re being cryptic as hell.” Rachel’s eyes volley back and forth between Piper and I as Piper shoots me a discerning look.

I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to keep it together, so I might as well just spill. I close my eyes before popping them open again, and as I move to speak, Cash enters the house before I can say anything. My lips close in on themselves as I freeze, realizing I could have just spilled my secret in front of him. I asked Piper not to say anything about my lump to him, even though I know she wants to. But I didn’t know what my diagnosis was yet, so I didn’t want to cause alarm. Cash isn’t the type of man to sit back and watch anything happen to his friends. And if he knows, I know he’s going to want to help, even though there’s not much he can do.

“Hey, girls. How’s it going?” His eyes light up when he sees Piper in her chair, walking over like a string is pulling him towards her, taking her face in his hands before he kisses her and leaves her breathless.

“See! That right there is a man that is not afraid of commitment!” I declare, so damn happy for my friend. Of course, I’m pretty sure Brooks would do the same to me, but we haven’t truly talked about our future yet. And now I guess it’s pointless to.

“Don’t worry, ladies. Before this woman here, that’s exactly what I feared. But she changed all that,” he says while holding her cheeks in his palms.

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