Page 78 of Devoted

Chapter 24

Brooks

“I can’t believe we’re fucking doing this.” Ethan moves around me in the jewelry store, glancing down at all the engagement rings in front of us.

Princess cut, round, oval, pear—how the hell is a guy supposed to pick the right one?

“I’m not saying I’m gonna get down on one knee tonight, but I know I don’t want to wait very long. I fucking love her, man. And if my mom’s treatment isn’t making things better, I want her to be able to see us get married. I plan on seeing her tomorrow, and I want to lay everything down on the line.”

“You’re gonna propose tomorrow?” Ethan folds his arms over his chest as his eyebrows threaten to leave his forehead.

“No, not tomorrow. But I am gonna tell her that I love her. I haven’t done that yet.”

“Wow. Pretty sure I dropped that on Mariah about a month in.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve always moved faster in love and relationships. This is unfamiliar territory for me. And given everything that Jess and I have been through and are going through, I didn’t want to rush it. I wanted to make sure that the timing was right.”

“Understandable. I’m happy for you, man. Jess is great. And the few times we’ve all had dinner, it’s like she just fits right into our family.”

“Right? I think that was the last puzzle piece for me. Everything slid into place after that first night. My mom loves her too.”

Ethan’s grin spreads wide across his lips and then he clasps me on the shoulder. “Then let’s pick out some rings. I know Mariah’s hand won’t be bare for much longer too.”

Every moment we spend together, every touch and smile Jess and I share lights up my life in a way I never imagined. She’s become my best friend, my confidant, the one person who I can be completely honest with. I don’t feel like I have to put on a front with her. She allows me to be vulnerable and open, a feeling I’ve never truly experienced with a woman until her. And I’m tired of being afraid to let her know that I love her with every cell in my body. I didn’t want to scare her, but I can’t wait any longer.

Watching my mother fight for her life has broken a part of me that I don’t think will ever fully repair. But Jess makes me hopeful that at least she will be there to pick up the pieces as I crumble. I’m harboring as much strength as I can to deal with the next round of impending tests in a few weeks to see how effective her chemo has been, but with Jess I don’t have to put on that mask. She lets me get it out—my doubts and fears—even though it kills me to think that she had to go through the same thing once and I wasn’t there for her in the same way.

After my mother’s treatment last week, we met up as planned, but Jess requested that we stay in instead of going out. So we ordered pizza and watched a movie and then made love on the couch. Everything seemed fine, but I also had this nagging feeling in my mind like something was wrong. She was quieter than usual, which she just chocked up to being tired. Yet, I can’t help but feel like maybe she’s frustrated with me or the pace of our relationship, which is why I plan on having a heartfelt conversation with her tonight. I’m going to lay everything on the line and make sure that she knows that she’s my future. And then when the time is right, I’m gonna slap this ring on her finger and make her mine forever.

“Hey. Check this one out.” I point to a vintage style, princess cut ring that caught my eye as soon as I saw it. The center stone sits on the band surrounded by a border of small round stones, and the band is covered with those same circular diamonds. It’s classy and beautiful, just like Jess is.

“Yeah, that’s nice. I think I might go with this one.” Ethan points to a round solitaire on a white gold band. “Mariah likes simple, and I could see this rock on her hand for sure.”

The sales lady comes by to assist us, explaining the four C’s of diamonds, and then after a few stacks of paperwork, Ethan and I walk out of the store with two rings for two incredible women.

“Do you know when you’re going to propose?” I ask Ethan while we devour our lunch.

He finishes chewing before answering. “Not exactly, but I have an idea. I want to catch her off-guard though, so she doesn’t expect it. What about you?”

“Well, I was thinking of taking Jess skydiving.”

“What? You’re gonna propose in the air?”

I chuckle at my cousin’s lack of common sense and then pop a fry in my mouth. “No, after we land. She’s never been and I’ve been trying to help her face her fears and live a little. We’ve done the axe throwing and zip lining, but I feel like skydiving would be a pretty big leap.”

“I’ll say. Good luck with that,” he chides.

“I think I can get her on board with that soon. And if not, maybe I’ll aim for spontaneity. Jess says she likes that about me.”

Later that evening as I sit on the edge of my bed and stare down at the ring I can’t wait to place on Jess’s finger, I thank God for bringing this woman in my life when the most important woman before her is battling for hers. The sparkle of the diamond as the light hits it only clarifies for me that I’m tired of waiting on the right time. Life is short, and I want Jess to be in mine forever.

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