Page 69 of Devoted

“Me too, babe. Come with me,” he growls as we move once, twice, three more times, before crying out in ecstasy together.

When I finally stop moving and Brooks keeps me pressed to his torso, the sound of our breathing is the only thing filtering through the room besides the hum of the air conditioner. It takes a minute before we’re relaxed enough to move because we’re both still trembling and struggling to catch our breaths. Brooks helps me off of him and lays me down on the bed before getting up to take care of the condom. When he returns, he slides the covers down the bed and ushers me under, bringing me back in his arms as we lay there, facing each other with our heads propped up on our elbows, reading between the lines.

That was incredible, so sensual, so easy, and comfortable—why the hell were we waiting?

“I will take full responsibility for the stupid decision to prolong doing that for as long as I have,” I say, joking obviously, and hoping that Brooks senses that. By the laugh he grants me, I’d say he agrees.

“I mean, I’m not gonna argue that it was your decision,” he says with a smirk which only makes me grin in return and throb for him again already. “But I’d say it was worth the wait.”

“Definitely.” I take a deep breath and then muster up the courage to tell him about our common ground, the bit of information that made me realize that this man is worth letting in. “I—I need to tell you something, Brooks.”

His face shifts instantly from elation to worry. “Okay…”

“First, thank you for finally telling me what was going on. I’m glad that I can understand you more.”

“Again, I’m so fucking sorry for keeping something from you, Jess.”

I reach up and cup his cheek, stroking his skin softly. “I know. I get why you did though, Brooks. I understand exactly what you’re going through.” I emphasize the word so he can start to sense what I mean.

“What?”

I clear my throat and then let it out. “My mom had breast cancer too, Brooks.”

I can see his throat roll as he swallows hard. “Fuck…”

“And that’s how she died.”

He closes his eyes instantly and drops his head, laying down on the pillow, so I follow suit. “Shit, Jess. I’m so fucking sorry. But why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“I didn’t want your confession to be about me. I wanted you to know that I was listening to you—to your feelings, your thoughts, your fears. I was twenty-two when she passed, right before I went into nursing school. I didn’t have anyone who was looking out for me, asking me how I was doing. It was just me, my sister, and my dad, and the three of us were so distraught with anger and grief that we didn’t speak much. My sister and I did after she died, but my dad never wanted to talk about how he was feeling or wondered how my sister and I handled it. It was tough. I was with her when she took her last breath. I saw the life leave her body,” I say as tears escape my eyes now. “And I think watching her leave has made me so afraid of truly living, afraid that everything will be ripped from me like it was from her. My mom was fine one day and gone four months later. She had a wonderful life, did everything right, and she still died. Life isn’t fair. And I’m not telling you this to make you scared that your mom would pass too. We don’t know what her fate is. I’m telling you this so you know that you’re not alone. I know exactly how you’re feeling, and that is why I want to make sure that you know that there is someone here for you.”

Brooks eyes are filled with unshed moisture as he stares back at me. The silence between us now is deafening as I wait there for him to say something in response.

“Fuck, Jess. I’m so sorry. I hate that you had to go through that. But fuck… as much as my heart aches for what you went through, I can’t help but feel relieved that there’s someone else besides me that gets it.” He pulls me closer and kisses me, pushing our bodies together as the reality of our connection floats between us.

It’s rare to find someone in life that you share a common experience with.

But that’s what Brooks and I have, and I’m going to never let him feel alone throughout the coming days.

---