Page 59 of Devoted

Damn, this woman has been keeping a list of all the instances where I’ve let her down or made her suspicious that I’m hiding something. And her little declaration makes me laugh.

“No, I promise. Nothing like that. But it is something personal about me. The phone call can be explained, and the woman I believe you saw me talking to is Mariah, Ethan’s girlfriend.”

“Oh. Well then, what were you doing at CVS then the night we were supposed to be having dinner?”

“I had to pick up some medication.”

“Brooks,” she sighs, closing her eyes and hanging her head low. “You know I haven’t had the best of luck with guys. So forgive me for being so concerned. But I—I really like you and don’t want something small like vague secrets to tear us apart.”

I stroke her cheek with my thumb, staring down into her stormy eyes, and then an idea pops in my mind, something that’s been stewing in my brain since the night of the speed dating event. “How about we go away together? Take a trip. There’s a spot I want to take you to, and it will give us a chance to talk and I can get everything I need to say off of my chest.”

“A trip? Together? Isn’t that a bit fast?”

I shake my head while coming to the realization that this woman makes me want to make plans. I want a few days with her away from real life. I want to immerse myself in everything that is Jessalyn Harris before our relationship changes and becomes insanely real—because even though falling in love can feel like a fairy tale, exhilarating and new—real life eventually plays a part and brings you back down to earth. And there’s nothing more real than your mother battling cancer.

“I don’t think so. I think it will be perfect. What do you say?” I watch Jess’s eyes move back and forth between mine before she finally answers me.

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” I press a soft kiss to her lips, the sensation of her kiss melting away some of the stress I’ve been feeling lately.

“Let’s go this week. I have Tuesday through Thursday off. If you can get a few girls to cover your shifts, we can take off in the middle of the week and be back in time for work again.”

Her eyes are still unsure, but I can feel her body softening in my arms. “Okay. I know of a few girls who owe me a favor. Let me text them. Don’t forget that Grayson’s birthday party is tomorrow though. I promised Rachel we would be there.”

I nod agreeingly. “Got it.”

“Brooks. I don’t like secrets. Please don’t make me look like a fool or regret letting you in.” Her eyes are filling with moisture, which makes me want to tell her everything right this second, but I know we need to get back out on the floor.

“I promise you, Jess. I just—I have some stuff going on that is making it difficult for me to be fully committed to anything right now, but I’m trying. All I’m asking is for you to trust me.”

She searches my face for a few moments. “I do.”

I turn back towards the door, releasing the lock and then opening it up to exit. “Thank you for listening to me,” I tell her.

“Don’t make me regret it, Brooks.”

I flash her a smile and then reassure her. “I won’t.”

My feet carry me back to my job, while my mind and heart stay fixed on the understanding Jess just gave me with no explanation. Women like that don’t exist, at least in my experience. And the last thing I want is to lose her.

Time to man up, Brooks. Get your shit together, tell her what’s going on, and hope like hell she decides to stand by your side during one of the most challenging seasons of your life.

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