Page 94 of Devoted

Chapter 30

Jess

One Year Later

“Well, it took me longer than I was hoping, but I’m glad I finally got you up here.” Brooks is yelling in my ear as we sit next to each other in the plane, flying thirteen-thousand feet in the air.

“You’re lucky I even agreed to this. Although, after the last year, I don’t care anymore. Let’s jump out of a plane, babe.” I lean in to kiss his lips as the instructors start to shout at us.

“Alright. We’ve reached cruising altitude. You two ready?”

I nod, shaking in my seat but knowing there’s no way I’m backing out of this. I’m going to fly down to the earth by choice. Why?

Because I’m alive and I can.

The past twelve months have been some of the most difficult of my life. After my surgery, the recovery was far more strenuous than I anticipated. I went through a period of grief, regretting removing my breasts and feeling like a piece of me was missing. Denial, anger, depression—you name it, I felt it.

But I also landed in a place of acceptance that I made the right decision to give myself a future—a future with Brooks by my side.

And no matter how rough some days got, or how brutal the radiation treatment was, Brooks was there with me every step of the way. There were days where his mom and I would go in for treatment together and he would move back and forth between us—holding our hands, keeping us calm, wrapping us in blankets, and whispering in our ears how much he loved us.

By January, I was in complete remission and Brooks’ mom was eligible for surgery finally. She opted for a double mastectomy too and has been in remission for the past few months. Her treatment is still ongoing, but we are all optimistic that she can be in full remission, eventually.

We all haven’t stopped fighting. And we don’t plan on it.

I look back at the man that has shown so much love and devotion to me in the past year and I thank God for him in that moment.

“I love you,” I mouth to him as my instructor straps us together at four distinct points.

“I love you more,” he mouths back as his instructor does the same. Even though Brooks has been skydiving before, he’s never done it on his own. He insists after we do this tandem jump that we get certified so we can jump just he and I. I told him not to get ahead of himself.

“Alright, Jess. Don’t fight it. And remember to breathe,” the instructor yells in my ear before hurling us out of the door without a countdown or anything.

And in that moment, once I get the courage to open my eyes, I have never felt more alive. The force of gravity pulling me down as the wind pushes against me makes me feel weightless—like there’s nothing bogging me down.

No cancer.

No anger.

No resentment.

No grief.

Just peace and tranquility, beauty surrounding me as I scour the scene below and above me.

The sky has never been more blue. The trees never more green.

And my heart has never been more free.

In a matter of sixty seconds, my feet plant firmly on the ground and reality comes back into focus.

But I don’t know that I’ll ever look at the world the same way again.

“Jess!” Brooks calls out to me as I twist my neck to find his voice.

“Brooks! That was incredible!” My instructor finally releases the last connection and I race across the field to him, jumping in his arms and wrapping my entire body around his.

“I’m so proud of you, baby. You did it! Didn’t you love it?” He leans back so we can see each other’s faces.

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