Page 43 of Devoted

Chapter 13

Jess

“Alright, I’m curious. What poison did you pick today?”

The timber of Brooks’ voice swirls around in my ears as he leans over and speaks to me while I’m organizing some forms and cleaning off the nurse’s station. I’ve barely started my shift, but I knew Brooks had already been here for a few hours. I may have spent a few extra minutes on my appearance this morning in anticipation of seeing him after our intense conversation during Piper and Cash’s bachelorette and bachelor parties. But I wanted to allude to the fact that I’m still the same professional woman at work that I’ve always been, even though I was drunk out of my mind on Saturday, which lead to us having phone sex. The weekend was fairly low key, but by the headache I nursed the following day, I’d say we still celebrated triumphantly—and that orgasm was a bonus.

I move the gum around in my mouth and then stick out my tongue, presenting the bright green blob to him like a child. Brooks laughs and then leans in closer to inspect it, even going as far as inhaling the scent very close to my face.

“Seems great minds think alike,” he says before sticking his tongue out to me similarly, showing me the same hue of gum in his mouth.

“Extra, Spearmint flavor?”

He nods. “Not bad.”

“It’s kind of spicy to me.”

“Well, that’s because you’re usually eating candy,” he chides, flashing me that sexy smirk that I want to kiss off of his face. I haven’t placed my lips on this man since our date, and I’m definitely going through withdrawals.

I turn back around to finish sorting papers. “Well, I’m never afraid that my Tic Tacs are going to burn my taste buds off. But I don’t hate it. My breath does feel fresh and minty.”

He leans in close again, coming around my back and wedging me between the counter and his body. I can feel the heat coming off of him, which only makes me start to burn up as well.

“I’d love to test that for you, if you want.”

I swallow hard and then peer around us, making sure there’s no one close by to eavesdrop or observe how close we are to each other, because the thought of kissing Brooks right now is making me want to revert to acting like the woman from this weekend.

“I’d go into an on-call room for that, if I were you.” Alice’s voice makes me jump as she sneaks up behind us, causing Brooks to spring away from me as well.

“Oh. Hi, Alice.” I pretend to be doing something important, but Alice just chuckles behind me.

“No need to pretend I didn’t hear you two. And hey, I’m all for it. But just remember, there are always prying ears around every corner.” She winks in our direction and then scurries off.

“She has the ninja skills of a mom,” Brooks states.

“She does have three kids.”

Brooks bobs his head up and down. “That explains it then.” Taking a few steps towards me again, he gently brushes his fingers up and down my arm that’s concealed by the counter and our bodies. “I do want to sample your lips later though, if you don’t mind.” That grin is back and so is the humming of my core.

“We’ll see. Get to work, Dr. Bennet.”

I look back down at the papers in front of me, but the low growl in my ear makes it hard to focus and breathe. “I can’t wait until this weekend, sweetheart. I’ve been thinking about it since you called me on Saturday.” He presses a kiss to my cheek before striding away, leaving my heart galloping in my ribs and my mind spinning.

In just a few days, Cash and Piper are getting married and given that I asked, Brooks will be my date. We’ve been texting back and forth throughout the week, but we won’t be able to see each other outside of the hospital until the wedding since we both have to work for the next three days in order to have time off for the ceremony. After our impromptu phone sex a few days ago, I can’t help but feel like this weekend may be when we take things further in person. And although I’m anxious and desperate to feel him that way, I’m still so nervous that crossing that line will jeopardize any future I could have with him.

We’ve only known each other for a little over a month, but my resistance is fading with each interaction, each kiss, each touch of his fingers on my body. And after sharing an orgasm with him on the phone, sex with Brooks Bennet is all I’ve been able to think about. I don’t think I’ve ever masturbated as much as I have in the past few days, all while visualizing the sexy doctor that has made me behave in ways I never thought I would.

And all I know is that the closer the wedding gets, the more nervous I become. If it gets to the point where I think Brooks and I will go all the way, do I tell him about the curse I’ve convinced myself has plagued my dating life? Do I risk sounding like a crazy person in hopes that he’ll understand my reservations about sleeping together? Or do I keep it to myself and hope for the best?

I still don’t have any answers to those questions, even on the morning of the wedding.

As we wait in the car outside of town hall where the ceremony will take place in front of the lock fence, the excitement that Piper feels radiates from her and rubs off on me a bit. Listening to her declare how eager she is to marry Cash only makes me hope that one day I feel that way about the man I get to marry. And then when I think about Brooks and how anxious I am to see him, I realize that I can’t remember the last time I felt this impending thrill while dating a man. Even with Trent, I don’t think the feelings between us were as strong as the attraction. I tried to be optimistic in each relationship I’ve had, but none of them have compared to the way I feel about Brooks.

And although I’m extremely attracted to Brooks, there’s so much more developing than the physical pull. I have shared some of my worst fears with the man and he’s pushed me to live outside of the small box I tend to compartmentalize my life into, a habit I developed after my mom died. He makes me laugh with how carefree he is outside of the hospital, but reminds me of what an extraordinary doctor he is while we’re at work. He’s been honest with me about his feelings and desires, which is so damn refreshing and has helped ease the nervousness I get around him tremendously.

And yet, knowing that we haven’t even explored that last hurdle together has my stomach twisted with nerves and possibilities. I know there’s no pressure to have sex, but I feel like if we don’t soon, we both might explode.

As I walk down the aisle with Luke by my side, I search the crowd for my date. Like a laser slicing right through me, Brooks’ eyes light up when he sees me glide towards the arch decorated in roses and bathed in the beautiful sunlight of this spring afternoon.

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