Page 21 of Devoted

Chapter 7

Brooks

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you, Mom?”

After her chemo treatment last week, she’s been weak and battling nausea almost daily. Watching her lack enough energy to take care of herself is so painful to watch, especially since my mother has always been one of the strongest women I’ve ever known.

In between shifts at the hospital, I’ve been at her house—doing laundry, washing dishes, and last weekend I started touching up the paint on the outside of the house. I’m exhausted, but knowing that tonight I have the chance to make headway with Jess is keeping my adrenaline flowing.

“I’m sure. Liz is coming over anyway since Ethan is going too. You should go, Brooks. Don’t stop living your life because I’m fighting for mine.” Her voice and eyes are soft, glancing up at me from the couch.

“I know. I just hate that you’re feeling like this. I know there’s not much I can do besides sit with you, but I hate feeling this helpless.” I brush her hair from her face as a chunk comes out between my fingers when I pull them away. It’s been over two weeks now since she started treatment, so I knew this was coming.

Her eyes trail my hand as she notices the strands. “Well, we knew it was only a matter of time before that happened.”

My lips fall flat. “I know. I’m sorry, Mom.”

“Stop apologizing, Brooks. You saying sorry over and over will change none of this, alright? I knew what I was signing up for. This is how it has to be if I want to try to live. So, grant me my wish and go find yourself a beautiful woman tonight so you don’t end up alone in case I don’t survive.” Her frustration with me keeps growing the further into this process we get, but so do her morbid realizations. I know she’s worried about not surviving, even though she pretends to be strong in accepting her diagnosis. But every time she mentions dying, it makes me think she’s already given up.

“There actually is a woman that’s going tonight that I’m interested in,” I admit, realizing now is better than ever to tell my mother about Jess.

Her face lights up as she hears my confession. “Really? And how did you meet this girl already? You’ve only been home for like a day,” she teases and then flashes me a wink.

I grin down at my mom while mentally recalling how I met Jess, how the tiny nurse with raven-colored hair weaseled her way into my mind and never left. “We actually met at Skye’s initially. She gave me crap about buying cinnamon gum.”

My mom chuckles. “I’ve never understood how you like chewing that crap either.”

“Well, she was adamant about letting me know she feels the same way. But then, it turns out she’s actually an ER nurse at the hospital.”

“So you work together?”

I nod. “Yeah. And believe me, I know there’s a risk in pursuing a woman I’ll see at the hospital often. But there’s something about her, Mom. She’s this tiny little thing, can’t be much taller than five feet,” I laugh. “And she’s smart as hell, damn good at her job, and knows how to stand up for herself.” I stare off into space, visualizing how many times I’ve worked on a patient with her now and how she’s always one step ahead of where I need her. “But I get the sense that she’s fighting something, and what that is, I’m just not sure of yet. All I know is, I think I’ll regret it if I don’t try to pursue this attraction between us, because it’s beyond physical. She’s beautiful, for sure. But there’s so much more about her that draws me to her as well.”

My mother moves to sit up on the couch, resting her back against the arm. “Then dedicate yourself to pursuing that feeling, Brooks. I don’t think I’ve heard you talk about a woman like this since Shannon in college.”

“I know. It’s overwhelming. But when Ethan told me she was going tonight and the thought of other men getting to date her became real, that told me that I needed to give it a shot.”

“Then I wish you luck. I hope I get to meet her someday. We can share in our hatred of your gum.” She grins playfully and then rests her head on the cushion at her side just as the doorbell rings.

My Aunt Liz and Ethan file through the door as soon as I open it, taking shelter from the chilly air outside. It’s the beginning of April, and even though the days are getting slightly warmer, the air is still cold in the evenings.

“She hasn’t been very hungry today,” I explain to my aunt as she sits next to my mom on the couch.

“Understandable. Don’t worry, Brooks,” she says, looking back up at me now. “We will be fine. You two boys go knock the socks off of some single ladies tonight and maybe score.”

Ethan rolls his eyes at his mother’s teasing. “It’s really weird when you say things like that, Mom,” he chastises her.

“Nonsense. The two of you are incredible men and any woman would be lucky to have you. Now go. Have fun. And don’t worry, Brooks. I’ve got her.” She gives me a reassuring smile and then waves us off. I don’t understand how my aunt can be so calm watching her sister battle cancer, but her peaceful presence has helped me remain as calm as possible too.

Ethan and I take separate cars, not knowing how our nights might end as we cruise across town to the new comedy club on Maple Drive. I’m baffled as I drive at how much this little town has grown since I moved away for college. And now that I’m back for the foreseeable future, I’m eager to discover the recent nuances that make this place home.

“Damn, there’s a lot of people in here,” Ethan draws out next to me as we stand at the front of the comedy club, watching several men and women enter the room and wait in line to check in. Registration for the event was online, but a table set up to the side is full of nametags for the guests to collect upon arrival.

“Yeah. But are you sure Jess is coming?” The sweat rolling down my back is the only thing reminding me to breathe as it drips down the waistband of my pants. You’re welcome for the visual.

“Yes, man. I texted her the flyer last week when I told her about it, and she told me she would be here and she’s bringing a friend. I’m telling you though… when she finds out I may have tricked her into coming here, she’s gonna have it out for both of us. Of course, I hadn’t invited you yet when I informed her about it, but I’m sure she’s going to suspect something.” Ethan places his hands in his pocket as we remain in our spot, watching people mill all around us.

The room is full of attractive, single people all searching for a connection tonight. But I already know that the connection I feel between Jess and I is one I want to pursue. Now that I’m here, it’s dawning on me that I’m going to have to speak to other women, even though there’s only one that I came here for.

---