Page 82 of Revived

“We care about you, Luke, and just want to see you happy, brother. You deserve that.” Cooper pulls my attention to him as I stand there frozen still.

“You need to figure out what you want, Luke, and don’t dawdle. Because every moment you spend in this shelter of guilt and fear that you’ve built, is one second longer you’re living without her by your side. We’ve all seen it these past few months… that woman has brought you back to life, man. You’d be a fool to let her walk away.”

Cash and Cooper back away from me, leaving me standing there in the parking lot as the two mirrors of honesty I’d been avoiding hit me hard with the truth. After sitting in my car and staring off into space for a while following that conversation, I make my way back to my parents’ house to pick up my son.

“Luke, we’ve got a problem,” my mother mumbles when I return to her house and meet her in the kitchen.

“I don’t know if I can handle another problem right now, Mom. My hands are kind of full.”

“Well, this involves your son, so you need to handle it.”

Letting out a long breath, I pinch my nose while I encourage her to continue. “Okay. What is it?”

“Grayson is wondering where Rachel is.” She lifts her brow at me, flashing me that look that only mothers can give.

“I know, Mom. He’s been asking non-stop since she left last week.”

“And what have you told him?”

I stumble, trying to buy time before I tell her the same lie I told my son. “That… that she’s on a vacation.”

“Luke!” She admonishes, walking closer to me now. “You need to be honest with him.”

“Fuck, Mom. I know, okay? But what am I supposed to tell him?”

She sighs. “I don’t know. I didn’t know what to tell him either. I just bribed him with ice cream to change the subject.”

“Nice.”

“Well, there’s no manual on how to parent a child, Luke.”

“Yeah, well, there’s no manual on how to move on after losing your spouse either, Mom.”

Her arm comes around my shoulder as she pulls me into her. “I know you care for her, Luke. And you’ll always love Hannah. No one says you have to choose between the two of them.”

“But don’t I, Mom?”

“There’s room for both of them in there.” She points at my chest. “You just need to move some things around.” Flashing me a wink, she glides outside to collect my son while I reel from the second bout of advice I’ve received today. And then later that night, I get an even bigger dose.

“Daddy, I miss Rachel.”

“I know, bud. I miss her too.”

He snuggles into me as I try to tuck him into his bed, my hand stroking through his blonde hair. “Why did she leave us? Does she not love me anymore?”

My head falls to the side as my chest aches even more than it already is. “No, bud. She still loves you very much. It’s just…”

“Did you guys get in a fight? My friend from the park says sometimes his mommy and daddy get in fights, but then they kiss and make-up.”

Finally, a slight smirk emerges from my frown I’ve been sporting for over a week. “Yeah, Rachel and I had a fight.”

“Then you need to kiss her!” He exclaims, sitting up tall in his bed now.

“Um, that’s not…”

“I know you know how to kiss her, Daddy. I saw you.”

And suddenly, it’s not an ache in my chest, but the steady thumping of my heart I feel. “What? When did you see me, bud?”

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