Page 76 of Revived

Chapter 24

Luke

It’s after ten and Rachel still isn’t home. Pacing the living room, I recall every detail of the day that could have made her leave that abruptly, but I’m coming up short. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me before she left, which leads me to believe it was something I did, but I honestly have no idea.

Trying to maintain my composure while Bill and Teresa remained in my home was like trying to smile through a root canal. I obviously didn’t want to address the issue with Rachel while they were here, so I buried down my nerves and focused on making sure the time spent between them and Grayson was worthwhile. They will remain in town for the next four days, staying at an RV resort about forty minutes away before they resume their travel across the country. Each summer they take off for weeks, but always make it a point to come through Emerson Falls to see Grayson and visit Hannah’s grave.

As soon as they left though, my fingers flew across the keyboard sending her multiple texts, asking her where she was. After no response or answer to my dozens of calls, I had no choice but to accept the fact that she was avoiding me, and for whatever reason, I was still unsure.

It’s been so long since I’ve had to consider someone else’s feelings and during this week especially, my sole focus has been on navigating my own. Hannah’s parents coming to visit always puts me on edge. But add in the fact there’s a woman living with me now that I’m actively in a relationship with? Well, it made the guilt grow exponentially.

And then there’s the dream, the same one from over a week ago, popping up almost every night—Rachel’s lifeless body hanging out of the window of the car, fucking with my mind each time as I fought to wake up before I had to accept the image, much like the night of Hannah’s death.

My headspace is a jumbled mess of past, present, and future, and even more fucked up now as I wait for Rachel to come home so we can talk about what the hell happened earlier.

The gloom of my house feels appropriate as a wave of darkness takes over my brain, gravitating to worst case scenarios—wondering if she’s hurt, praying that she’s okay, and hoping that she will in fact return. All of her belongings are here, so she’d have to come back eventually, right?

The flash of headlights coming through the front window alerts me to her arrival, especially when I hear the hum of a car in the driveway and then the engine shut off. I contemplate how to play this as I wait for her to open the door. Do I meet her right at the entrance and demand where she went? Or do I sit on the couch and wait for her to come to me? Seeing as how I don’t know exactly what’s going through her mind, I decide on option number two.

The click of the lock signals she’s about to walk through the door, so I decide to stand as her eyes meet mine.

But she doesn’t say a word as we stare at each other, the silence more unsettling than the fact that I couldn’t get her to answer my texts or calls. Finally she moves to set her purse down on the table by the door, shuts the door behind her, and then turns, meeting my eyes again.

“Where were you?” I finally ask while my body hums with nerves. The scarce light coming through the blinds and curtains is enough for me to see the redness on her face and the swollen lids of her eyes.

She stands tall, observing me for what feels like an hour before she finally answers. “Why do you care?”

“Why do I care? Are you kidding me?”

“No. I’m not. I’m just your friend, right? I’m just the nanny. So why do you care if I left? I wasn’t technically on the clock anymore anyway.”

“Rachel…” I start to move towards her, but she flashes her palm at me, stopping me in my steps.

“No, Luke. Don’t touch me. I just need to gather some clothes and then I’m leaving again.”

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” My mind is spinning as she starts down the hall, but I reach out to grab her wrist, pulling her gently behind me to the garage where we can speak at full volume without threatening to wake up Grayson.

“You’re not leaving until we talk,” I command once the door is shut and we pick our sides of the spacious room.

“Oh, now you wanna talk?” She raises her voice as her eyes laser focus in on mine, folding her arms across her body in a protective shield.

“Yeah, I do.”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you for days, but you just kept pushing me away!”

I run my hand through my hair as I stare at the ground. “I’m sorry. I know. It’s just that Hannah’s parents coming always makes me…”

“An asshole?”

My head flies up to watch her face grow even angrier. “An asshole?”

“Yup.”

“Rachel… what the fuck happened?”

She shakes her head at me, her eyes welling with tears before she looks away and to my workout bench. Her eyes close, surely with the memory of what we did on that bench just over a week ago.

“I can’t fix this if you don’t tell me what happened.” I scrunch my face up while I wait for her to speak.

---