Page 74 of Revived

“Not really,” Grayson answers honestly as we all chuckle.

“We’re your grandparents, your mommy’s mom and dad.”

“This is Grandpa Bill and Grandma Teresa, Grayson. They live in Arizona. Remember, we talked about them coming to visit?”

Grayson just nods. I’ve never seen this little boy so timid before. His mind must be reeling. Then he suddenly speaks. “Wanna see my book about Mommy?”

Teresa looks up at Luke as Bill follows. “Yeah, he has an album my mom and Rachel made for him that’s full of pictures of Hannah. Oh…” He turns to me like he forgot I was here. “This is Rachel, by the way. She’s the uh… the nanny.”

I try to brush off the hurt I feel, even though I didn’t exactly expect him to introduce me as his girlfriend to the parents of his dead wife right off the bat. “Nice to meet you both.” I reach out to shake their hands.

“Likewise.”

“Come on! Wanna see my room?” Grayson pipes up, and suddenly the charismatic boy I’ve grown to love is right back to normal.

Bill and Teresa follow Grayson down the hall as I make my way back in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner. Luke joins them in Grayson’s room as I try to overhear their conversation. But the door is shut, which just makes their words muffled. At least I can find comfort in knowing that Hannah’s parents traveled all this way to see him because a child can never have to many people to love them.

No matter how much I try to stifle it though, this sharp pang of guilt and hurt sits in the center of my chest as I watch the four of them interact and talk. Once they leave Grayson’s room, Bill joins Grayson on the carpet in the living room building Legos as Teresa and Luke watch. Realizing I need something from the garage fridge, I exit the house and retrieve the extra butter. But as I open the door to return, I hear a conversation that makes my heart crack before I fully enter the house again.

“So, Rachel seems lovely.” Teresa looks over at Luke.

“Yeah, she is. I couldn’t rely on my parents anymore, and she’s a friend of a friend. The timing just all sort of fell into place. She’s fantastic with Grayson and he loves her too.”

“And you?”

Luke turns to her with a puzzled look on his face, but I can see his fear through the crack in the door. “What about me?”

“How do you feel about her?”

Luke turns his focus back to his son. “She’s been amazing with my kid and helps around the house. I couldn’t ask for a better person to look after him when I can’t.”

“And that’s all there is?” Teresa is prodding, and that hope builds again as I wait for Luke to admit that he’s happy, even if it is to his ex-mother-in-law.

“She’s a friend. That’s it. I’m not ready to move on, Teresa. I don’t know that I ever will be.”

Like a piece of glass hitting concrete, my heart shatters, the tears rising to the surface as I gently shut myself back in the garage to gain some composure before I go back inside.

Not only did he deny that something was going on between us, which I guess in the circumstances, I can understand not wanting to admit that to the particular person he was talking to. But he spoke words following that denial that truly made me crumble and my stomach drop.

I’m not ready to move on, Teresa. I don’t know that I ever will be.

If he’s not ready, then what the hell have we been doing? I’m not expecting to get married and become a family tomorrow. But why then pursue me and make me fall in love with you?

As tears stream down my face, my blood pressure rises with force, my entire body shaking from the adrenaline running through my limbs. I’m such an idiot. Why didn’t I read the situation for what it is? This man lost his wife and has been honest about how hard it has been to open up to someone else. I’ve tried to be sensitive to that fact, and yet, I felt like he was genuinely interested in me. Was this all a ruse? A way for him to get laid again and then pull away when he realized he didn’t want to move on?

No. Luke doesn’t seem like that type of guy. But I never thought he would straight up deny that he’s even considered moving on now. I’m reeling, every emotion firing off in my brain before I realize I need to go back inside before I burn dinner.

“And this is Iron Spider!” Grayson exclaims from the living room as he shows Bill his superhero Lego collection. I keep my back turned to them as I stir the pasta and flip the chicken parmesan cutlets in the pan, wiping my face on the bottom of my shirt.

“Is dinner almost ready?” Luke calls from the couch.

“Uh, yeah,” I say, trying to hide the hurt in my voice and lump in my throat.

“Let’s wash up then.” Everyone stands and makes their way to the bathroom, except for Luke.

“Smells good in here.” He comes up behind me, resting his hands on my hips as he kisses my neck gently. I close my eyes at his touch—not only to savor it but also to stop the tears from falling. Nausea overtakes me the second his lips hit my skin as well, a feeling I’ve never had when Luke touches me.

“Uh, huh.”

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