Page 71 of Revived

I turn away again, and then move around the stove, dumping rice into a pot and stirring it around, never responding to her statement. Again, her certainty astounds me.

Have I been honest with her? Yes.

Have I steered her in the wrong direction or mislead her? I don’t think so.

She takes a seat on a stool at the island, watching me intently, but seeming a little timid after my outburst. “So, what are you making?”

“Teriyaki-glazed salmon, rice, and grilled veggies,” I answer, grateful she changed the subject.

“Mmmm, that sounds great.”

“Yeah. Why don’t you set the table? This won’t take long.” I finish up dinner while Rachel places silverware and napkins on the table, and in fifteen minutes, we’re eating, mostly in silence.

After dinner, I fill up her wine, grab another beer for me, and then we snuggle into the couch to watch a movie. The weight of her on my chest feels right, helping calm my nerves from earlier as I hold her in my arms, breathe her in, and remind myself that each day will bring clarity and nothing has to be decided right this minute, a mantra that becomes my motto in those moments where I start to question everything again.

I go to my parent’s house alone the next day to pick up Grayson since Rachel had an early shift at Tony’s. She’ll be home right around Grayson’s bedtime, which allows me to spend some time with my boy just the two of us, a notion I didn’t realize I needed so badly after the turmoil my heart and mind have been under in the past forty-eight hours.

“Daddy!”

“Hey, bud!” With arms out wide, I intercept my little man and scoop him up, squeezing him into my chest and savoring the feeling of him in my arms again. It’s been months since I’ve been away from him for more than one night at a time, ever since I quit the sheriff’s department.

Gently setting him down on the ground, he bounces on his feet. “I missed you, Daddy! But we had so much fun!”

“I bet you did.”

“We built a fort, ate ice cream every night, and camped in the backyard. We even looked at stars through a telescope!”

My heart feels light again and my smile natural and easy. Nothing like being in the presence of my son to put all the anxiety in perspective. He is the only thing that truly matters.

“That’s awesome, bud. I’m gonna visit with Grandma and Auntie for a minute before we go, okay? Go play with your cousins for a few more minutes.” He dashes out the back door that he ran through when I got here just as Tenley comes from the hallway.

“So, how did it go?”

I brush a hand through my hair and then speak the truth. “The first night was amazing. That new restaurant was incredible. She loved the observatory…”

“Nice,” Tenley grins as she crosses her arms.

“But then Saturday night, I overheard her on the phone with Pfeiffer…”

“Why do I get the feeling my stomach is about to plummet?” Tenley’s face scrunches up as she waits for me to continue.

“She told Pfeiffer that she’s in love with me… that she wants to marry me. That I’m the one for her.” Nausea returns as I repeat the words out loud now.

“Wow. How does that make you feel? By the look on your face, I’m going to say not great.”

“Fuck, Tenley. I care about her, so much. We slept together,” I whisper. “And it was incredible. Fuck, it made me feel alive. But marriage? Going through that all again? I just don’t know…”

“It’s still early, Luke. You don’t have to make that decision right now. But didn’t you kind of think that maybe one day you would remarry?”

“No, not really.” I shake my head.

“No?”

I shift my head back and forth once more. “After Hannah died, I swore I’d never put myself through that again, or someone else for that matter.”

“Why?”

“Because it hurt like hell when I lost her.”

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