Page 35 of Revived

“Things are incredible. But we haven’t yet… you know…” She bites her lip with worry.

“Are you still fixed on your ‘curse’?” I throw my fingers up like quotations marks around the last word, courtesy of Joey from Friends.

“Laugh all you want, but what if it happens again?”

“Jess, you’ve got to get past this. What if you push this guy away over something silly like your alleged curse and you lose the love of your life? He’s not hesitating like Luke is. He’s interested and pursued you. Just do it.”

She stands tall and straightens her spine. “You’re right. I just need to have sex with him.”

“Ugh. Apparently I’m the only one not getting any around here now,” I whine playfully.

Jess takes a sip from her champagne and then rests a hand on my shoulder. “You’ll get there. Just give it time.”

I know she’s right, that my anxiety is stemming from my need to live in the future right now instead of the present. But even the present is uncertain. I know we are teetering on this line, walking a tightrope that neither one of us knows how to navigate. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that moving to Emerson Falls would drop me into a situation like this—living with a man as his nanny while harboring feelings for him.

But that is where my life has ended up, and I have no choice but to take each day as it comes, and hope that eventually, everything will work itself out.

Having driven myself to Pfeiffer’s to get ready this morning, I arrive home later than Luke, his car already in the driveway. I stayed behind to help clean up as much as possible before Birdie, Cash’s surrogate mom, shooed me away. Taking a deep breath, I exit my car and unlock the door, opening it up to a dark and quiet house. There are no lights on, only the faint sound of Grayson’s sound machine filtering down the hallway.

Luke is nowhere to be found, the sadness of him shutting me out yet again hits me as I amble down the hallway and open my room. I strip out of my dress, throw on some pajamas, and make my way to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I lay back down, my thoughts automatically veer back to how it felt being wrapped in his arms and jacket as we danced together. Nothing has ever felt so right, even though so much about our situation is still wrong.

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