Page 34 of Revived

“I could say the same about you, Luke.”

He shakes his head. “Yes and no, but you know enough about me to know who I am as a person. You live with me, for Christ’s sake. But all I know is that you moved out here a few months ago and want to be a teacher. What makes Rachel tick? Who is she? What has she been through that makes her, her?”

I like his forwardness, the slight authority in his voice as he asks me to share my life with him—the details you can’t see on the outside of a person or even the events that have shaped me, even though we do live together. As we continue to move, I swallow and then divulge what I can.

“I actually grew up very poor,” I start, which makes him react in surprise.

“Really?”

I nod. “Yes. I know you know that Pfeiffer and I ran in the same circles back home, a life full of country club events and social gatherings where people would flaunt their money. But I didn’t have that life until I was in middle school.”

“That’s how you knew Pfeiffer, from when you were kids?”

“Yes. We became fast friends when I switched schools, and I could tell she differed from the other kids around us. Anyway, I never forgot where I came from though. I never took our new fortune for granted.”

“How did your family transition to that world?” He questions, staring intently in my eyes, as I recount the story of how my father inherited his business. “What a gracious man, to take care of people who were loyal to him,” he says, referencing the man who left his business to my father.

“Yes. He changed our lives. But my family and I always believed that money wasn’t everything. And it was my memories from my school in the Bronx, the times I spent in the classrooms with my teachers, that made me believe that the best way to leave behind a legacy wasn’t through charity donations and lavish parties thrown in the name of a good cause. It was from enriching the lives of others.”

Luke reaches up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, studying me as we continue to move. The small caress of his fingers on my ear and down my neck as his hand trails away leaves a path of heat and tingles in their absence.

“You are an incredible woman, Rachel,” he speaks, lowering his voice so only the two of us can hear. And I swear, I see him drop his eyes to my lips before they flick back up to mine.

“Thank you. You have enriched my life, Luke. You and Grayson. I hope you know that.”

Silence falls between us even though there are celebrations going on all around us—music is playing, people are laughing and talking, kids are running around and causing mischief. But in this moment, we are the only two people in existence. Luke’s eyes dart down to my lips again and I feel it.

This is it. This is the moment when he’s finally going to give in. He’s going to kiss me as my body comes alive with desperation to feel his mouth on mine.

I close my eyes, waiting for that first touch of his lips, the first caress that I’ve been fantasizing about for months, the heat that his body creates in mine makes me feel like I’m about to sweat from the anticipation. And the longer it takes, the more time that passes as I wait for him to make his move, the more unsure I get that this is what he really wants. Slowly lifting my eyelids, I see him standing there, his forehead scrunched up with uncertainty. And then it hits me—he’s not ready. And the disappointment slams into me as we stop moving and he retreats, showing me what I’ve been fearing for the past few weeks—that he may never be ready.

“Daddy!” Grayson runs up to us just as Luke drops his hand from my palm and my waist.

“What’s up, bud?” He turns to him, crouching down so he can see him at his level, my stomach twisting in knots as I step away from them.

“It’s time to cut the cake! I want all the frosting, Daddy!” He yells, pulling Luke up and over to the cake by his hand. As they walk, he turns back to me, contemplating what just happened and shaking his head, almost like he can’t believe he was about to kiss me—again.

“Did I just see what I think I saw?” Jess speaks softly in my ear, frightening me as my hand clasps over my heart.

“Jesus, Jess. What the hell?”

“What the hell? Don’t you what-the-hell me! I know what I just saw. Luke was about to kiss you!” She whispers in my face as the realization dawns on me. All of these people are around us, with eyes and ears and opinions. Maybe Luke wasn’t cursing himself for almost kissing me. Maybe he realized what he was about to do in front of all of these people.

I twist to watch Pfeiffer and Cash cut their cake, feeding each other a piece delicately, before Pfeiffer shoves a chunk in Cash’s face and they tackle each other, frosting and crumbs flying everywhere.

“I don’t know that he’ll ever be ready, Jess,” I admit, knowing she can understand where I’m coming from.

“He will, Rach. There’s obviously something between the two of you. Anybody who isn’t blind can see that. But man, he sure is fighting it, huh?” She nudges me playfully.

“You have no idea. And I’m trying to be transparent, but part of me is so scared of getting hurt. How long am I supposed to wait? How long do I keep hope that he’ll give in to these feelings? If I had any doubt about the way he feels about me, it’s been erased with what’s happened just here tonight. But there are still so many issues to face, obstacles to overcome…”

Jess pulls my shoulders so we’re facing each other. “You’re thinking too far into the future. It’s only been a few months, Rach. You still have around four months until Grayson starts Kindergarten, and you start school again. So much can change in that time. Take it one day at a time and just try to live in the moment.”

“You’re right. I know. I'm just frustrated. But thanks. Hey…” I twist my head around her, searching the backyard for a moment. “Where’s Brooks?”

Jess’s face instantly lights up. “He’s over talking with Cooper, Kane, and Drew.”

“I’m gonna guess by the way your face is lit up like a Christmas tree that things are going well?” Apparently after I left with Luke from the speed dating event, Jess and the hot doctor from the hospital, whose name is Brooks, ended up talking and hitting it off. They’ve actually been seeing each other for a few weeks now and she asked him to be her date to the wedding.

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