Page 22 of Revived

Chapter 8

Luke

The heaviness of the weights helps me fight against the tension coiling over my entire body. Pushing up and over my head, I struggle to lift the extra pounds I’m punishing myself with from my impure thoughts of Rachel last night as I count the reps out loud and sweat drips from my pores.

When she came down the hall in that outfit, I swear I felt my eyes pop out of my head. Not only is the woman naturally gorgeous, but she’s never worn something so form fitting and sexy in front of me before, at least that I can recall in the last month she’s been living with me. Usually when she leaves for her shifts at Tony’s she already has her jacket on or doesn’t wear something so revealing. And now all I can see is her curves under that red fabric, her jeans that always look good on her but seemed to look like a second skin yesterday more than usual. Even when she walks around the house, her clothes are usually loose and cover all the parts that remind me she’s a woman—an exquisite, sexy woman that I am noticing more and more with each passing day that she’s living in my house.

Rachel has infiltrated my life, upended everything I had committed to the moment I realized I was on my own in raising my son. Sure, my family has helped tremendously in looking after Grayson when I need them. But I’m his only parent and I made a promise to myself to never forget that he is my number one priority always. So I vowed to swear off relationships, knowing that it would take a miracle for me to ever be able to feel for someone like I felt for Hannah anyway.

I was doing well, had my mind focused on my responsibilities as a man and a father—and then this brunette came along, with her genuine regard for helping others, her smile that creates a glow around her each time she shows it, her heart that has opened up to my son with no questions asked, and a body I can’t ignore any longer.

I’m completely attracted to a woman for the first time since I lost my wife, and it’s scaring the shit out of me. Not only because it hasn’t happened before, but because she’s also my nanny.

So what do I do besides mentally berate myself for my feelings, for the twitch I get in my dick when I picture her face and think about how sweet she smells? I work out, punish myself physically because I don’t think I can make myself feel any more guilty than I already do.

Thank God I set up my own gym in my garage a few years ago when I realized that trying to make time for the gym between my shifts as a deputy and taking care of a toddler would be virtually impossible. I purchased a bench and set of free weights from a guy off of Craigslist, installed some rubber mats, picked up a few kettle bells at Big 5, and created my own little sanctuary where I can work off stress—or in this case, punish myself for the abnormal thoughts in my mind.

I try to work out five times a week, usually in the mornings before Grayson, and now Rachel, get up. But today I got a late start. Grayson woke around midnight with a night terror, an infrequent but occasional occurrence, which left me yearning for more sleep. By the time I got him settled again, it was after one and I heard Rachel come in from her shift at Tony’s. I tossed and turned with the vision of her in my mind until I finally passed out. It was just after five when the light peeking through my blinds caught my eye, so I changed and came out to the garage, knowing Grayson would probably sleep a little later this morning since he lost an hour last night. Contrary to what other kids do, my son makes sure to get his sleep if he misses any.

Sweat dripping down my chest and a burning ebbing in my lungs, I feel somewhat better as I stand from the bench and reach for my water, drenching my throat with the cold liquid and wiping my forehead with the bottom of my shirt. I don’t have class until tonight, so there’s no rush to get ready, which makes me think it would be nice to make a big breakfast for Rachel and Grayson and enjoy eating with them, with time to spare.

I walk inside the house from the garage, taking note that the house is still silent, the clock showing it’s just after six-thirty so I know Grayson won’t be asleep for much longer. In desperate need of a shower but remembering I don’t have any towels in my own bathroom, I decide to steal one from Grayson and Rachel’s bathroom, vowing to replace it as soon as I fold the clean ones in the laundry room.

The door is closed and the light is off, so I think nothing of opening it in a flash. But the last thing I expected to see is a stark naked woman, standing on the rug with a towel hanging from her hand as she turns to face me and the realization hits us at the same time.

“Ahhhh!” She screams, pulling the towel up from the floor as quickly as possible to cover her bare body—but the damage is done. Nothing can erase the vision of her smooth skin and pink nipples from my mind, the small patch of hair above her pussy that leads you to believe there’s not much else there, the soft roundness of her stomach and her thick thighs and long legs that I instantly envision wrapped around my hips.

“Fuck!” I shout, turning on a dime and covering my eyes, even though she’s behind me now. I can’t stop seeing her, her naked body standing there—so feminine, so perfect. I’ve forgotten how seductive the female form can be, and thus my dick rises to attention almost immediately. “I’m so sorry, Rachel. I’m so fucking sorry…”

“Luke! What the hell? What are you doing in here?” She shouts and then instantly lowers her voice, realizing Grayson is still asleep. “Why are you in our bathroom?”

“I needed a towel. All of mine are in the laundry room still and I just thought I’d borrow one from in here since it was on my way to my room. What are you doing showering in the morning with the light off?” I want to push my eyes back as far as they’ll go in my head, hoping the intrusion will burn the image of her away. But the more I see it—her perfect body—the harder my cock gets.

“I was too tired to shower when I got home last night and I just turned the light off. I was about to wrap the towel back on me to go to my room.” Her explanation makes sense, especially because if I had seen the light on under the door, I would have knocked.

“Fuck. I’m sorry, Rachel. This doesn’t have to be weird, I promise,” I offer, more for me than for her I’ll admit. Because now I’m afraid when I finally look her in the eyes again, all I’ll be able to see is her naked body beneath her clothes. “Are you decent?” I ask before slowly turning, granted with her back to me as her head hangs between her hands. The towel is back around her body, but low enough that I catch a glimpse of a tattoo on her shoulder blade that looks like some sort of constellation.

She turns to face me, her eyes slowly reaching up to meet mine, her cheeks clearly flushed in embarrassment. “Oh, God. I can’t even look at you,” she chuckles, lowering her head again.

“No. Don’t do that. It’s okay. We’re both adults, we can handle this,” I say just as Rachel’s eyes dart down to my crotch and her eyes widen when she sees my dick still tenting my shorts.

“Fuck,” I turn around now, hiding my junk in my hands as though that will erase the last five minutes and my reaction to her.

“Okay. Well, let’s just move past this, alright? I uh… I’m sorry. This is embarrassing…”

“Believe me, Rachel. You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” I say a little too quickly, biting my tongue as the words leave my mouth.

“Uh, sure. Okay, I’m gonna get dressed. Grayson will be up soon,” she mumbles, rushing around me and sashaying down the hall, her ass covered by the towel. But now the thought of what that part of her looks like won’t clear from my mind either.

“Fuck!” I shout, yanking a towel from the shelf and rushing to my bathroom, where I chastise myself for the urge to jerk off to the vision now burned into my retinas. I manage to get my dick to calm down without releasing my frustration, knowing that jerking off to another woman is crossing yet another line I’m not ready to erase.

After I dress for the day and greet my son, I make up some bullshit excuse to get me out of the house early, knowing that being near Rachel right now is not good for my blood pressure. Feigning needing to run a few errands, I ask Rachel to watch Grayson for a few hours more before I can meet up with Cooper and Cash, keeping our bi-weekly hangouts on schedule. As much as I want to spend every minute with my son, I know that maintaining my friendships is also critical for my sanity. Plus, I needed to get the fuck out of my house before I made a mess in my pants and embarrassed myself even further.

“You look like hell,” Cash greets me at Skye’s, waiting in line to order his coffee.

“Dude… I had a morning, okay?” I reply, scanning the menu even though I know it won’t change my order.

“Everything okay?

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