Page 75 of Captivated

“Go to the bag, Cash!” He breaks my thoughts, pointing to the wall behind us. “Punch the shit out of the bag if you won’t do it to me.”

Turning on my heels, I stare at the bag hanging from the metal chain bolted to the ceiling, and then something in me snaps.

“Fuck!!!!” I shout, running across the ring, jumping over the ropes, and bee-lining for the punching bag, swinging furiously at the weighted leather as soon as I arrive. Drive after drive, I pummel my fists into the concrete weight, releasing all the aggression I’ve felt, the most anger I can ever remember feeling, even more than when I would walk in on my parents fighting.

“Son of a bitch!” I shout, continuing to land blow after blow, my blood pumping so furiously, sweat dripping down my face and body, my muscles burning from the exertion. But for the first time in weeks, I’m feeling something other than pain. I’m feeling a bit of relief and then anger, and then suddenly I stop and drop to the floor, resting my arms on my knees as my head hangs between.

“I’m so fucking sorry, man,” Cooper comes up beside me a few moments later, taking a seat next to me against the wall, ripping his gloves off as I sit there and try to fight back the tears threatening to fall. I never considered myself a crier until I met Piper, fell in love with her, watched her almost die in my arms, believed we would be okay, and then she left me behind, battling this war of emotions that I am losing miserably.

“This is why, Coop,” I say, still hanging my head down. “This is why I don’t do love—because it only leads to misery. I’ve never allowed myself to go here and the one time I do,” I hold up my index finger still in my glove, “The one time I fall, something like this happens. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what the fuck is.”

“This was just bad circumstances and guess what, buddy? Life is full of them. That doesn’t change her. What you felt for her was not circumstantial. It was fucking real. And that is the part of love that no one can control. So while this entire situation fucking blows, don’t deny your feelings, because those came from a real connection with someone. She’s meant for you, I feel that in my soul.” He pounds on his chest with his fist. “And I have faith that she will come back to you.”

“She won’t even answer my calls or texts. They’re all delivered, but not read.”

“She asked you for time, didn’t she? Maybe she turned her phone off.”

“I just don’t get it. We were gonna talk. I told her I would be back. And then she was gone…”

“Her parents were probably freaked and wanted her home,” he explains to me for the hundredth time. And even though I am not close with my parents, I can understand their wish for her to be home and with them again after being apart for so long.

But what about me? Good ol’ selfish Cash Williams? What the fuck am I supposed to do over here on the other side of the country without the woman that I love, huh? Did anyone think about that?

“I get it. I just… I just want the ache to stop,” I say, pointing to my chest.

Cooper sighs. “I wish there was a magic pill or word to make that happen, man. But sadly, it happens with time, which is what she wanted. Just know, I’m here.”

“I know, man. Thanks.”

Once I gather myself and Cooper pulls me to stand, I head for the shower and then change, making my next stop at Sagewood.

“You look a little better today,” Birdie greets me when she answers the door to her apartment.

“You’re the one recovering from a head wound. Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” I kiss her on the cheek and then walk through the door, closing it behind me.

“Uh, it’s been almost a month since my fall. I think I’m fine. You, on the other hand, are nursing a broken heart, which is far worse to recover from, my boy.” Birdie walks around me to her kitchen, stirring something on the stove.

“Did you make chicken noodle soup?” The thought actually makes me smile slightly, a foreign occurrence for me recently.

“Yup. And the Cheez Its are already on the counter,” she gestures with her hand, drawing my attention to the box. When I was little and had a bad day, Birdie had Cheez Its. When it was a good day, Birdie had Cheez Its. And even as an adult, those buttery crackers offer me a sense of comfort when my life has gone to shit.

“I’m drowning, Birdie,” I croak, knowing I can open up to her about this.

“No, you’re just holding your breath right now, Cash. She didn’t say it was over, she just said she needed time.”

“And how long is that? Am I just supposed to sit around and wait forever?”

“Would you?” She eyes me over her shoulder from her position at the stove.

“Would I what?”

“Would you wait forever?”

Even though I don’t say it, my mind says it for me. Yes. Yes, I would wait forever—because although she’s the only person I’ve ever felt this way for, I know she’s the only person Ieverwant to feel this way for.

“That’s what I thought,” she smiles coyly, knowing my answer even though I never uttered the word.

“What do I do in the meantime?”

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