Page 37 of Captivated

“Maybe another time.” My voice is gravelly, trying to hide the emotion threatening to spill over. “I don’t want to ruin the evening.”

“Okay, I’ll let you off the hook for right now, because the last thing I want is to give you another reason not to agree to another date with me. But eventually, I want to hear what you’ve been through. I want to know why you have such a hard time trusting people.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m a deputy. Part of my job is reading people. And judging by the stone wall you’ve erected around your mind and heart, I’m guessing someone hurt you and you’re afraid to let anyone else in.”

I take a deep breath, realizing that dating when you’re living a double life is far more complicated than I expected. “Fine.”

“Let’s take that walk then,” he suggests as he reaches for my hand.

I stare up into Cash’s icy blue eyes, pulling my coat closer to my body. I can see the hint of disappointment in his face, but honestly, the evening so far has been amazing, regardless if it didn’t turn out the way he intended. “I’d love that. Let’s do it.”

Reaching for my hand and intertwining our fingers, Cash guides me to the park and leads us to the trail that’s empty except for a few more couples strolling during the crisp fall night. Orange and yellow leaves are sprinkled in the trees that were dark green just a few weeks ago. The sky is pitch black, showcasing millions of stars despite the soft light of the street lamps lining the sidewalk.

“I know we were supposed to be elsewhere, but this spot, this moment in time, is perfect.”

“Yeah, it didn’t turn out so bad,” Cash winks over at me as we turn a corner and music plays to our right. The melody stops us cold as we listen and get lost in the song, but then he pulls me towards the sound, walking us between large trees to a clearing with a fence securing the park boundaries. On the other side of the fence is a bar, the chatter of customers flowing out of the doors and windows along with the soft country music.

“Care to dance?” Cash turns to me and pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arm around my waist and then raising our intertwined hands.

“Here?” I look around frantically, even though there aren’t any other people near us. Even the chain-link fence with privacy panels built in separates us from the bar, providing privacy. We’re literally all alone, yet I feel completely on display—because the way Cash is staring down at me, he makes me feel like I’m the center of the universe. Mason never looked at me like that.

“Yes, here.” He pulls me closer so our torsos are touching, his head gently pressed against the side of mine, and begins gliding me across the grass, swaying and turning, keeping in time with the music. “We’re living in the moment, slow dancing in a park because music is playing and that’s what you do—you dance when there’s music.”

“Who knew you could be so romantic? And you can dance?” I smile, surprised by yet another aspect about Cash I never would have guessed.

“Well, the romance thing is all new to me, but I’m glad you approve. And you can thank Birdie for the dancing talent, as well. Add it to my rating.”

“Why didn’t you join in on my class last week then?”

“Well, obviously, I don’t need lessons,” he teases as he releases me, spinning me around by one hand and then pulling me back into him, flashing me that grin that highlights the lone dimple in his cheek as his palm resting on my hip dips slightly lower to my ass. His full lips taunt me as I try to focus on anything but his mouth that I’m dying to feel connected to mine again.

“Obviously,” I chuckle, resting my head on his shoulder as we continue to move. I can hear his heart beat in his chest, mimicking the rate of my own. Closing my eyes, I sink into his arms, melting into the feeling of being protected and adored, submerging myself in a moment of my life that wasn’t planned and isn’t a lie. That is how Cash makes me feel, like I’m not running from my past, hiding my true identity to be kept safe, or living a lie—because for the first time in my life, I truly feel like I’mfinallyliving.

Cash

“Do you believe in fate, Cash?”

“Fate? Wow, that’s a serious question. What brought that on?”

“Well, earlier you said you think things worked out the way they were supposed to between us, leading us to this date. So I’m curious… do you think everything is already pre-destined in your life, a series of events lined out on a road map that you are already inclined to follow from birth? Or, do you think there are forks in the road we come along and have to make a choice, and that decision is the one that continues to lead us down the path we take as we live our lives?”

Holy shit. This conversation just got deep—and fuck, I’m here for it. Getting into Piper’s mind is exactly what I wanted, and she’s giving me an all-access pass to how she thinks about the world. As we continue to move to the music coming from the bar across the fence, I struggle with how to answer that question, because Piper has changed how I view so much.

Before I met her, I was a man wandering aimlessly through relationships. I maintained friendships with those I felt were deserving. I invested time with the people I care about the most in life, like Birdie. But I never felt a sense of direction leading me to another person like I do with her. There’s a kinetic wire shooting a signal between us, alerting me to the fact that she’s on the other end and all I need to do is travel to her to get the message.

I’m still trying to figure out what that message is exactly, though.

“How about you answer first?” I suggest.

Piper lets out a deep sigh. “I used to think it was the former—our lives were already predetermined and we merely acted as puppets performing God’s play. But recently, I’m beginning to believe it’s more of the latter. I believe there is something that guides us, but ultimately it’s our decisions that will lead us where we’re meant to be. I wonder though, is the ending still the same, no matter what choices we make? Do we still end up in the same spot as we knock on death’s door? Or are we in more control than we realize and our lives can end in an instant with one wrong turn?”

Pushing against her, urging her to look me in the eyes, I stop dancing long enough to lock our gazes. This woman has so many sides to her—this vulnerable one I feel like I’m seeing for the first time. I’ve seen self-assured Piper, confident and noble Piper, and passionate Piper when we’ve kissed. But this side of her ignites this need in me to protect her from the fear I see in those dark blue eyes—a fear I’ve seen before, but is becoming more apparent each time I study her.

“I think our decisions fuel our fate, Piper, and Ihaveto believe that in this moment—because if I had decided to let you run, allowed your fear to prevent you from giving me a chance, I know my life would never have been the same. I can’t describe what this is, but I know I’ve never felt a pull towards another human being like I do to you. And it was that pull that made me fight your stubbornness and what ultimately allowed you to decide to give me a chance. If we both hadn’t made those decisions, then we’d be in a very different place right now, but I can’t help but believe eventually we’d still get here.”

I can see Piper’s throat bob as she swallows hard, her eyes dancing back and forth between mine. “I agree,” she whispers and then pushes up on her toes to plant her lips on mine. But the kiss is short lived as the slam of a door jolts us apart, igniting my pulse in an instant.

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