Page 93 of Tangled

The weight of her words sink in as I fall down on the back cushion, my hands wound so tight into fists to curb the urge I feel to destroy anything around me. I’ve come a long way from where I was three years ago when I first entered this office, but there are still times when I feel like that man again—the man that felt like he’d lost every ounce of control of his surroundings and his life.

“I know, but I sure don’t feel that way right now.”

Dr. Martinez tilts her head and flashes me a small smile. “That’s okay, Kane. That’s why I’m here. Sometimes we just need to process out loud so we can understand what’s really going on—so we can pinpoint the source of our anxiety and move past it. Why don’t you start by telling me why you came in today?”

I let out one more long breath and then hunch forward in my seat, ready to spill every thought that’s been running on repeat in my mind. “I ran into T.J. this weekend.”

Her eyebrows shoot up in shock. “Really? Where?”

“At Olivia’s apartment.”

And her eyes go even wider. “Okay… that’s strange…”

“Not as strange as finding out that T.J. was her ex.”

Dr. Martinez sets her pad and pen on her desk and then focuses back on me, reaching for my hands. And I let her hold them, her thumb brushing across my knuckles.

“Kane, my God. This is…”

“Un-fucking-believable, right?”

“For lack of a better word, yes,” she huffs before releasing my hands and sitting upright again. “So how did you react?”

“Well, not very well. As soon as I saw him, I saw red. There was no stopping the thunderous rage that overcame me. I yelled at Olivia as she tried to process the connection. I ran when I started to feel the panic settle in. And I ignored her calls and texts all weekend because I don’t even know what to say to her.”

“I can imagine. So try to tell me what you’re feeling.”

I sigh. “Anger, obviously. Betrayal. Fear. Hurt.”

“Okay, let’s start with the anger. Who are you angry at?”

“T.J. for coming back and ruining what I had with Olivia.”

“But did he ruin it?” She asks, reaching for her pen and the pad of paper again.

“What do you mean? He was there to see her, but I’m not sure why. I don’t even know what happened after I left.”

“Exactly. You don’t know exactly why he was there, but does that change how you feel about Olivia?”

I clench my jaw as I realize I know the answer to that question with no hesitation.

“No, it doesn’t change how I feel about her.”

She nods and urges me to continue. “So what about the betrayal?”

“I just feel like he fucking betrayed me again. He slept with the last woman I loved, and now this one too.”

“But he slept with her before she was with you, Kane. And you didn’t meet her until after they were together. Is there a way they could have managed to put that connection together?”

I shake my head. “It’s not likely,” which is what I’ve been trying to convince myself of since that night. She never uttered his name and I never thought in a million years that T.J. would have been in northern California.

“Okay, what about the fear? What are you afraid of?”

I run my fingers through my hair and brush my clammy palms down my pants. “I’m afraid I’ve lost her. I’m afraid she’ll go back to him and I’ll lose yet another woman because of his selfish acts.” My voice is beginning to choke as I finally say all the fears out loud.

“Okay. But did she say that?”

“Say what?”

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