Page 90 of Tangled

“You’re disgusting. I wish I never would have seen you in that winery…” I turn away from him, the mere sight of his face makes me want to hurl right now.

“I don’t regret it, Liv. Moving to California and working for my uncle at his winery was the only thing I had going for me at the time, until I saw you that day. Falling for you was easy. But then I realized you were the type of woman who deserved it all—the family, the fancy house, the husband who worshipped you—and I realized I would never be able to be that man for you, not when I can’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror.”

“So that’s why you cheated on me? Because you were so self-loathing, you figured, why not? There’s nothing else you can do to make you hate yourself more?” I throw my hands up in the air for emphasis.

He shakes his head, dropping it down in defeat. “Pretty much. I felt like a piece of shit, so I acted like one too. God, Liv… I’m sorry I hurt you…”

“Yeah, you did. Did it ever occur to you that in inflicting your own punishment on yourself—which I think is bullshit by the way, but if that’s what you think you needed to do, that’s on you—did you realize that you would be inflicting self-doubt on me too? You made me questionmyself-worth, whether there was something I did or didn’t do that caused you to stray. I never put pressure on you for a future, Trevor. I never demanded a ring, and it was your idea for us to move in together. If you knew that you didn’t want or couldn’t be with me, why didn’t you say something sooner? Why did you allow me to waste that time with you and then shatter my confidence? I could have been with a man who cherished me and wanted a future with me—a man like Kane!”

The memory of meeting Trevor and falling for his charm makes my stomach revolt. Nausea hits me and I fight the urge to make even more of a mess on my carpet. I stare down at the spilled sodas, bags tipped over with food spilling out, and then my heart instantly breaks.

Kane was coming here, with dinner, and we were supposed to be discussing our future right now. I was supposed to be telling him that he was going to be a father, a life-changing detail that I hoped he’d be thrilled about.

Instead I’m face to face with the man that wrecked us both, the man responsible for hurting Kane so much more than he hurt me, which makes me tear up at the thought.

“You’re right, Liv. I’m sorry. That’s what I came to tell you. I swear, that was it. I know you’ll never give me another chance…”

“You’re damn right about that,” I cut him off.

“Lexi is pregnant. I’m going to be a dad, and I just felt like I needed to clear my conscience of how I wronged you before I can move on with my life.”

Trevor’s desperation makes a lot more sense now, his shaking hands and the lump that I can hear in his throat. He’s getting the future he didn’t want with me and it terrifies him.

I take a seat on my couch across from where he’s standing and look up at him.

“I’m sure I’m not the only person you own an apology to, but I can understand why you felt the need to give me that decency. Do you love her?” I ask, not sure why, but I guess it can’t hurt at this point.

“I think I could at some point,” he sighs as he takes a seat back in the chair next to the couch.

“Don’t be with her just out of obligation. Don’t do to her what you did to me, Trevor. Support her and be there for your kid, but stop doing things because you feel you have to. Figure out what you want out of life and stop wrecking the lives of others from your poor decisions.”

He peers up at me, his forearms resting on his knees, looking utterly defeated. “I’m so sorry, Liv. You don’t deserve what I did to you.I never deserved you. You deserve a man like Kane. He’s one of the good ones. He was the best friend in the world to me, and I fucked up royally with him.”

“You’re right. You never deserved me, and I do deserve a man like Kane. What you did to him shattered him, Trevor. But he’s become the most incredible man despite what you did to break him down. You need to apologize to him too at some point, but I’m pretty sure now wouldn’t be a good time.”

Trevor chuckles. “Yeah, no shit. He’d probably punch me again if I tried to get close to him right now.”

“Yes he would, and I would let him.”

“I’m sorry for wreaking havoc on your life again. I just needed to say my peace. Lexi actually encouraged me to do it.”

I tilt my head in his direction and narrow my eyebrows as I study his face, realizing there’s one more question I need to know the answer to before he leaves.

“How come I never heard anyone else call you T.J.? How did I miss this connection before?”

Trevor’s head falls down in defeat as he takes a deep breath before answering. “Kane was the only one who ever did. It was a thing between us—a nickname given and reserved by my best friend.”

“I can’t believe the thought never crossed my mind. He told me about you, and I know your initials. I guess I just thought never in million years that you could be the same person.”

“Believe me. The last person I ever thought I’d run into in Emerson Falls was Kane Garrison. I know he left home after shit went down, but I never heard where he ended up. I just hoped wherever it was, he was happy,” Trevor stares off to the side, avoiding my gaze until I yawn and draw his attention back to me.

I stare at him as the adrenaline depletes in my system and exhaustion kicks in. Great, one of the glorious side effects of pregnancy is already taking its toll. And then that fear hits my chest again as I realize I still need to talk to Kane. I have to make sure we’re okay—that we’re still as happy as I believed we were. A lump forms in my throat when I realize this crucial development could be a turning point for us. Will Kane ever be able to get past this?

“He is happy.Weare happy. Go live your life, Trevor, and stay out of mine please. Kane moved to Emerson Falls to start over, and so did I. Go be a dad and be there for Lexi,” I say as I stand and he follows closely behind me.

“Thanks, Liv. Good luck. I hope Kane can move past this weird coincidence. I swear, I had no idea.”

“Yeah, me too,” I say as Trevor turns and walks out of my door, and hopefully, out of my life for good.

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