Page 38 of Eternally Devoted

“If he didn’t eat the jam, how’d you get him?”

I chew the inside of my mouth a second and try not to relive every moment as I recount what happened. “I had to stab him in broad daylight with the syringe. It was risky but…” I trail off, remembering what I saw in the back of his van the day I made the choice to get rid of him. “There were teddy bears and blankets and Barbies in his van. It was a total trap and I—” I shake my head, nausea rolling through my insides. I’m not sick at the idea of what I did. I’m sick at the idea that he existed.

Sterling and Dash each take one of my hands, linking them. “He didn’t deserve to live,” Sterling says, consoling me.

“I remember seeing Taylor on the news, a missing person,” Dash says, stroking our joined knuckles with his free hand. “He was, what, six-four? How’d you get rid of him?” he asks, amazement shining in his eyes.

When I first started to come clean, I feared I’d lose them. That they’d rightfully not want to hitch their wagon to a monster. But the pale coloring and uneasy stomachs seem to have dwindled, replaced by understanding and… maybe even affection.

“I got him to sit in his passenger seat before he completely went under. And since he was already out, I gave him two more shots in the thigh, then fed him through the chipper.” I swallow before admitting the next bit, but don’t consider keeping it secret. I said I’d come clean, no matter the cost. “He was conscious by the time I got him in. Not able to talk but his eyes… he was aware.”

Silence falls on us as they likely imagine me running a live man through a woodchipper. “He was a pedophile,” I remind them quietly.

Sterling edges forward on the couch, facing me, and Dash does the same. “I’m just honestly trying to wrap my mind around how you got him up to the chute.”

“I made a pulley,” I tell them, remembering having to traipse back to the barn for rope. “I hooked rope over the tree above the chipper, tied him up and yanked until he was resting on the machine. The rest was just moving him around until he fit.”

“And his remains?”

I nod toward the sliding door, where a firepit rests in sight right off the patio. “Burned the remains, cleaned up the ash and bones, and buried it under the patio.”

Their gazes idle on the patio outside the sliding door, likely imagining everything resting in that soil. There’s a lot of hatefulness buried there, and exactly why I chose under the patio and pergola. No roots in that soil, nothing trying to grow or bloom. The perfect place for toxicity to stay until the end of time.

“Okay, bad girl, who’s number six, what did he do, and where are we on Juniper Sky’s timeline?” Sterl hedges after peeking at his watch. It’s nearing midnight now, and Hudson will be up in a matter of hours. If they want to dig up number ten, I know I’ve gotta get through this a bit quicker, else we’ll have to wait.

“Howard Cox. Two years and eleven months ago.” I remember Howard well, not that I want to. I always want to forget, but out of sight, out of mind is kind of a lie. When you watch someone's life drain away, no matter how evil or cruel they are, you never forget them, not really.

They wait, knowing his story is coming. I finish my Coke and return my hand to Dash’s, Sterling and I are still linked. “We went to Bluebell High together. He was four years older than me, but I remember him pretty well. He was always a jerk. Married his high school sweetheart, Judy Ross.”

“Two years and eleven months, that happened right before I moved to Bluebell,” Dash says, thinking it through. “What happened?”

“I saw him with Judy at the baking supply store. She started up her own little cookie decorating business, and was apparently getting supplies for her first major order. Anyway, we chatted in the shop, caught up, she told me she was recently divorced but again, thriving due to her new business. That was all it was.”

I pinch my eyes closed as I remember leaving the bake shop, dropping my case of canning jars onto the cement the moment I heard her. “When I left the shop, Howard was waiting outside. I guess Judy didn't want to talk to him—she had a restraining order against him and everything.” I remember the piercing crythat came from Judy, held against the wall by his hand on her throat. Her eyes came to mine, full of panic, silently begging for help.

“He was choking her and he punched her in the stomach once, too,” I recall, hating Howard all over again, even though there is no more Howard. Still, my body burns with anger for him.

“Fucking prick,” Dash says.

“Yeah, well, I knew right then I wanted to kill him. But the bake shop has security cameras. And I didn’t have my supplies, plus Judy was right there. I couldn’t have a witness.”

“So what did you do?”

“I waited until the next farmers market. Judy said he always goes, follows her around, bugs her. She also let me know that part of the reason they split was infidelity, so from there I made a plan.”

“I know it’s in the past, but I hate the idea of you using yourself to bait these fucking monsters,” Sterling says, voice husky with concern.

“Same. I wish you—I wish you would’ve come to us,” Dash says, exasperated. Shaking my head, I smile sadly at him.

“I didn’t want to involve anyone. Even Ivy and Dolly don’t know.” I shake my head, staring down at my hand. “Anyway, he showed up to the farmers market. Hudson wanted to escort him off the property, but I said I’d walk him out. I talked to him, pretended to understand, gave him a few jars of jam because of the way Hudson handled him. Told him I was on his side.”

“That had to hurt, pretending to like him,” Dash comments.

“It was awful, and giving him jam was awful, too. I mean, even though it was spiked, still, giving a man who hits a womananythingfeels like too much.”

“So he went home and ate the jam?” Sterling asks, breaking our connection to get to his feet. “Hold that thought, I’ve gotta take a piss.”

“Same,” Dash comments, getting to his feet, too.

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