Page 27 of Eternally Devoted

“I’m burying the man I killed today.”

CHAPTER

ELEVEN

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE.

Juniper

Dash cups a palm to his ear. “Come again?”

Sterling’s eyes stay trained on me when he replies. “She said she’s burying the man she killed today.”

Sterling points to the uprooted spot on the ground, looking at Dash. “You gonna remember this spot?”

Dash nods, shock sweeping his usually sexy features. “Yes.”

Sterling dips his head. “Perfect.” He points the flashlight on his cellphone toward the bridge and says, “Let's take her back to the house.”

“I’m not done,” I protest, stomping my foot in the cool dirt. But when Sterl takes a step my way, I know I’m going over his shoulder, and as much as I need to finish what I’m doing, I also know I have hours. And I owe them explanations.

I’m not getting out of it now.

On the walk back, draped over Sterling’s body, I listen to their conversation.

“I know as a cop you’re probably freaking out, but, buddy, just… take a breath, okay? Let’s just get up to the house. Let’s get up there and just… see what’s what, okay?”

“Yeah… sure.”

Dash’s disconnected demeanor and distant tone make my stomach curdle. He knows, and now I’m gonna lose him. I ball my fists in Sterling’s sweatshirt, clinging to him in so many ways as he continues the trudge up to my place.

We fall silent for the rest of the trek.

Twice on the walk back, he claps his hand along Dash’s back, and my insides tighten at the loving gesture, and the easy way he’s taking care of both of us at once. I’ve always loved being Sterling’s friend, but I’ve equally loved watching their friendship evolve, even if they haven’t explored those feelings at all. I’m certain there’s more, I’m certain there is not one single thing Sterling wouldn’t do for Dash, and vice versa. Being with them is one thing, but watching them together is being in the presence of the purest love. And they aren't even aware of it.

“Everything’s gonna be all right. I’ll make sure of it,” Sterling says as the porch lights come into view.

Finally, we’re at the house, and by the time Sterling has lowered me to my feet, we’re inside my cozy little outdatedfarmhouse kitchen. Sterling is drenched in sweat, and Dash is pacing the strip of linoleum between the stove and sink, hands stuffed into his hair like he’s on the brink of a meltdown.

Sterling flattens his palms out between us. “Juniper, go get in the shower, sweetheart. Okay? Get yourself cleaned up, and while you do, Dash and I will take off our shoes and I’ll sweep up the house so there’s no dirt.”

“Tea,” I whisper, the reality of the situation crashing down around me, shattering the illusion of safety I’d been living in. Even on the walk back, foolishly, I clung to safety and hope. But Dash is a mess, and I think I’ve wrecked everything. I lick my lips as tears burn behind my eyes. “Can you put on some tea?” My bottom lip wobbles as I stare between the two men I love and adore.

They’re my whole world, outside my sisters and my jam, and once I come clean with everything else, they won’t want me anymore.

How could they?

Good, decent, hardworking, handsome men do not want to be with a murderer.

No matter how good the jam is.

“Sure, sweetheart. I’ll put on tea.” Sterling closes the gap between us, stroking a big, dirty hand through my hair, tenderly gazing down at me. I love how small I feel when I’m with him, how much safety his arms and chest provide, how much clarity I feel when I’m pressed against him. “How about some toast, too? Would that be good?”

I nod as he presses his lips into my hairline. My body is always on her own wavelength, and despite the seriousness about to crash into this kitchen after my shower, my lower half clenches with need at his caring touch.

In the bathroom, I focus on the shower. Washing away the silt and dirt, kneading my fingers into my scalp my shampoobubbles over my knuckles and wrists. The steam. The scent of almond blossoms and cherries. A fresh nightie. Warm socks.

Everything is going to be okay, Juniper,I repeat over and over, ignoring the fact that I’m about to share the only true secret I’ve ever had.

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