Page 72 of The War and Deceit Series omnibus

“I expect many will try to escape,” she continues, her face grim, and my heart sinks. Not because they are trying to get away from the impossible decision, but due to the reality of the situation.

“They will never get past the guards.” I wish I could take my words back as soon as I say them. Her face crumples and a sob escapes her.

“I know. My sister has a young child, my niece. I can’t bear the thought that she’ll be put into slavery.”

My heart breaks for her, and I remember my plan with Tor. Biting my lip, I try to decide what to share. I was supposed to talk with Grayson about the plan to see if I could get his help. Tor hadn’t wanted me to tell anyone else, but if I got caught, I wanted someone to take over for me, and seeing Jayne like this, I know we’re doing the right thing.

Can I trust her?Doubt niggles at me. If the king finds out what I’m planning, death would seem like the kind option once he was through with me.

“Jayne,” I call, her attention shifting back to me as she tries to stop her tears. “I have something to tell you, but you have to keep it secret.” I lower my voice as I get out of my chair and round the little table to stand at her side. She watches me with a serious expression.

“Of course, you’re like family to me.”

Her comment nearly knocks me down. I know she’s said I’m like a daughter to her before, but this is different. Her keeping this secret could cost Jayne her life, and she’s happy to take that gamble. Taking a deep breath, I try to steady my nerves. I feel sick, worrying at what her reaction will be.

“I’m going to help people escape the castle,” I say quietly, quickly continuing at her shocked gasp. “Anyone who is threatened and has no other option.” I pause briefly, gauging her reaction. “Did you meet Torin from the mountain clans?”

She frowns as she tries to remember, nodding slightly as a confused expression crosses her face. I know she’s wondering at the apparent change of topic, and her next comment confirms my suspicions. “Briefly, but how is he related to this?”

“His people have a type of magic, shielding, that allows them to travel unseen. Him and some of his trusted tribesmen are going to be waiting in the Queen’s Courtyard every evening by the far fountain. They’ll help anyone escape who needs safe passage.” I pause to take in her reaction, worried about how she might take this. What I’m saying is treason, and by keeping this a secret, that is a crime she’s committing too. “This is only for people who have no other option, we can’t risk the king finding out how.” There is no way the king wouldn’t notice people disappearing, but if we can stop him from figuring out how it’s happening, then we should be safe. Reaching out, I take hold of her hand and smile gently. “Your family could be saved.”

She stays quiet for a time and just stares at our joined hands. I worry she doesn’t believe me or trust me, but after a moment, she lifts her head and meets my gaze. Her expression is sombre.

“Do you trust him?”

I’m not sure what I was expecting her to say, perhaps asking for the logistics, or how I’m going to be involved, but this was not it. It’s a fair question though. If she’s going to put the lives of her niece and her fellow servants at risk, then she wants to know that Tor is a man of his word. What surprises me is that she cares aboutmyopinion of him, and if I think he’s trustworthy, then she will accept that as fact.

I contemplate what she’s asking me. Do I trust Tor with the lives of children? The answer comes to me instantly, even though I’m not quite sure where that feeling comes from, but my instincts have never let me down so far.

“Yes,” I tell her calmly. I can’t explain why and I don’t try to, I just let my assurance come through. Removing my hand fromhers, I reach across and touch my Goddess mark, something I’ve recently found helps to calm or reassure me when I need it. The mark starts glowing almost immediately, gently at first, but then it grows, its pulsing purple light filling the room. “I think the Mother agrees too.”

My smile is wide as we bathe in the light of our Goddess. Jayne’s face has a look of wonder, her eyes wide before they fall back on me. The light starts to fade, and she stands and wraps her arms tightly around me, pulling me into a hug.

“Thank you.” Her words are mumbled as she presses her face against my shoulder, clearly overwhelmed, and I understand. Returning her embrace, I simply hold her until she’s ready to let go.

“You could go too,” I whisper, and she huffs a short laugh as she pulls away. Shaking her head, she reaches up and brushes away the tears she’s trying to hide. I pretend I don’t see them and take a sip of my drink to give her time to compose herself.

“You and Grayson are my family,” she tells me, her smile back in place as she sits down. I’m about to point out that herrealfamily could be escaping, and she might not see them again if she doesn’t go, but she adds, “Besides, you’d both fall apart without me here.”

I chuckle at that. She’s right, I’m not sure what we would do without her. I’ve gone my whole life without a maid, and now I rely on her so much. Leaning back in my chair, I examine the woman.

I guess we don’t rely on her so much because she’s a maid, but because she cares for us more like a mother than someone who’s being paid to be here,I muse, realising how much I would miss her if she left.

“Wouldn’t you miss your family?” I inquire gently, not quite understanding why she wouldn’t escape with her blood relatives and stay with us instead—her adopted children.

“I barely know them,” she admits, shaking her head with a slight wince of her face. “In fact, I don’t have the best relationship with them, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want them safe. Besides, I already told you, you and Grayson are my family and you need me more.” That explains things a bit more, but my eyes sting with unshed tears at her words. I don’t trust myself to speak without crying at the moment, so I simply nod, a smile gracing my lips. She watches me with knowing eyes, returning my smile. “Speaking of Grayson, have you spoken with him about this?”

“Spoken to Grayson about what?” the magician queries, as he strolls into the room.

“Nothing,” I blurt out as I instantly clam up, partially because I don’t want to tell him about this yet, but I’m also still sore from his comments this morning. He gives me a strange look but shakes it off as he goes to get himself a drink. Reaching up to the top cupboard, he pulls out a glass and a bottle of wine. After pouring a large glass, he raises it to his lips and takes a long drink. Realising I’m just sitting here staring at him, I look away, reaching for my own mug of tea.

“Jayne, I need to have a word with Clarissa. Would you mind giving us a minute?”

Jayne shares a look with me, and I know what she’s saying—she wants me to tell him. “Of course, Grayson,” she says with a smile, before reaching over and touching my arm. “Good night, Clarissa.” Her eyes are telling me more than what she said, and I dip my head slightly in agreement.

I’m not quite sure why I’m so worried all of a sudden, I was the one to insist with Torin that I tell Grayson. So why am I feeling so anxious?

What if he thinks it’s a bad idea? If he tries to stop you? What would you do then?The thoughts make me pause. Would he do that?If he tries to stop me...I would just have to go behindhis back. This is important, it’s going to save lives.The notion of lying to him makes me feel sick to my stomach. He’s important to me, he trusts me...Well, you won’t know until you tell him.

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