Page 223 of The War and Deceit Series omnibus

“Why are you so against this?” I try to keep the hurt from my voice, but I know I’m not successful from the way my mates automatically lean towards me, our bonds humming as they offer comfort. “Why are you against him finding happiness?” There’s a challenge in my tone now as my anger surfaces. This isn’t about me anymore, this is about his brother and why he’s trying to hold him back.

“You’re going to leave him,” Naril retorts immediately, and I lean back at the ferocity in his voice. Once again, hurt fills me that he believes I would do such a thing, and I go to reply, but he’s already speaking. “Once all this is over, you’ll get tired of him and move off with your mates, and Eldrin will be left behind.” The accusations keep coming, and he shifts forward as if to follow me, but Vaeril puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from getting any closer. “He doesn’t have a goddess bond tying you to him, and he’ll get hurt. It will kill him, and I can’t see him go through that again.” His voice breaks, his eyes shining with tears he refuses to let fall, and I finally realise what’s going on.

“Naril, I am not the queen.” Now that I know he’s trying to protect his brother, all of my anger leaves my body. I’m still frustrated he felt he couldn’t trust me, but I understand now. Taking a deep breath, I search for the words and look over atEldrin. “I don’t know if there is something pulling Eldrin and I together, but what I do know is that I love him.” As soon as I say the words, something seems to change in him, even though his expression stays the same, but he just appears to…wake up, like a light has been lit inside him. I know I’m not the only one to notice, and I can’t help but smile, especially when that smile is tentatively mirrored on his face. “It’s still new, and it’s still growing, and we will have fights and arguments, but I’mnotgoing to abandon him,” I continue, turning back to Naril, who’s now watching his brother with an odd expression. “I know you love your brother, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Finally, Naril looks back at me. I hold his piercing gaze, unsure what he’s looking for, and I don’t know what he sees in my eyes, but after a while, he sighs and nods. His attention moves to Tor and then Vaeril. “And you’re okay with this?”

There’s a pause, and I hold my breath as Vaeril thinks over the question. I need to know the answer just as much as Naril. “If it was anyone else, I would fight this harder, but I know Eldrin, he’s practically a brother to me. I want him to be happy,” Vaeril finally answers, a rueful smile slowly appearing on his face. “It will take some adjustment, since sharing is not in an elf’s nature, but yes.”

Naril doesn’t say anything in response to his friend, simply nodding and turning to his brother. The two of them share a look, not saying anything for some time. Finally, Naril blows out a breath and shakes his head. “This is what you want?” he inquires, his tone resigned, like he already knows the answer. “You will have to share her with a magician, she will never be wholly yours.”

“She is who I want, brother,” Eldrin confirms without a trace of doubt.

Naril grabs his twin’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly as they share another long stare with each other. The two of them havealways seemed so different to me, and I never thought they were that close, but I realise now that they still share a bond no matter their differences in personality. A different type of bond than what I have with my mates, one forged through blood.

Feeling like I’m intruding on their moment, I shift in my seat, but a hand reaches out and stops me from moving away. My head jerks up—Naril. Both of the elves on either side of him are snarling, their eyes locked on his hand around my wrist, so he quickly lets go.

“Brother,” Eldrin growls, his voice so low, it’s difficult to make out the words. “I love you, but if you ever touch Clarissa like that again, I will rip your arm off.”

Naril shoots Eldrin a look, one eyebrow arched, but he nods, raising both hands in a gesture of peace. He doesn’t need to touch me again, he’s got my attention now which is what he wanted. He turns his intense gaze on me. “I pray that you keep your promise, for the sake of my brother.”

I meet his stare and hold steady under his scrutiny. “I will. I swear on the Mother.”I mean every word of it,I think, hoping he can feel my intentions.

He must be able to, because after a moment of silence, he nods, and reassured, he sits back in his seat. Sighing, he stretches his arms above his head, and it’s like nothing just happened, the atmosphere changing in seconds. “Good. I never thought I’d say this, but let’s get this nightmare over with so we can go back to the mountains.”

He’s right, I want to get back to the camp as soon as possible. Looking out the window at the changing scenery, my stomach twists. I try to convince myself it’s from the stress of the conversation we just had, and not the fact that I’m convinced we’re walking into a trap. I just have to hope we’re all strong enough to get out of this alive.

“I’ve never seen a human city before,” Naril comments, his upper lip curled as the smell of the slums greets us. “It seems I haven’t been missing out on anything.”

We’ve been travelling for hours and have just reached the outer reaches of the city. Leaning against the wall of the carriage, I view the looming shadow of the city from the window. Built from the black stone of the cliffs, even on the brightest of days, the city still looks dull and lifeless, but there’s a darkness that hovers over the Arhaven that has nothing to do with the stone it’s built from.

A heavy silence fell over the carriage during the last hour or so of the journey. Light conversation had kept us entertained until we started reaching the outer towns and we saw the slaves working in the fields and lining the roads. Thankfully, there weren’t many. Arhaven can’t spare many slaves for the small towns of Stormdale, Stonecrest, and Ravensgate, but as we approached the sprawling farmlands, that all changed. As far as the eye could see were fields with slaves completing theirbackbreaking labour, and never far away were the slave masters with their whips, ready to be used at a moment’s notice.

As we passed the farms, my chest felt like it was in a vice, and I had to look the other way as memories threatened to overwhelm me. While my time working as a slave in the castle had been hard, it had been worse in the farms. Slaves never survived there for long. It was a miracle from the Mother that I was transferred to the castle. My discomfort hadn’t gone unnoticed by the others, and I knew they wanted to ask if I was okay, but at a cough from Eldrin, they settled back into their seats, keeping a careful watch on me ever since.

Now we’ve passed the farms and we’re beginning to ascend into the city, but we have to pass through the slums first. The population in Arhaven has grown so much that many have to live outside the safety of the city walls, as they can’t afford the exorbitant rents. I’ve never visited the slums. Before I escaped, I’d never even left the castle grounds other than when I was first brought here, so I’d only ever overheard tales of them from the servants in the castle. Horror stories of young girls being stolen in the night and of conditions that make the slave quarters sound practically safe and luxurious.

The clipped hoofbeats of an approaching horse brings me back to the present, and glancing out the window, I see Grayson approaching. My stomach tightens at his serious expression, and I know he’s feeling the effects of being back in Arhaven, our bond becoming more strained with every mile we travelled. Opening the window as his horse moves up alongside the carriage, I try to keep my nerves under control. I’m not too proud to admit I’m fearful to be returning to the city that made me a slave. I know the others can sense it, from the deep rumbles that surround me, their fae and mate instincts driving them to protect me.

“We’re about to enter the city,” Grayson informs us as he looks around the carriage, his eyes narrowing slightly as theylinger on Eldrin, and I know he must have felt some of the earlier turmoil from our bond. However, that’s a conversation that will have to wait until later, as we have far more dangerous matters to attend to. “We will be creating a shield that protects the whole procession so you’re all safe.” Although he’s still speaking to everyone, his eyes are locked on me. A small weight lifts from my chest, and I can breathe easier. Magic would be protecting us as we entered the city. Only the foolish would dare to attack a magician, but hunger makes people do desperate things, and I don’t trust the king not to attempt an ambush before we even reach the castle.

“Even so,” the mage continues, a note of warning in his voice, “don’t leave the carriage until we get to the castle. Remember what we said before, appearances are everything. I will escort you from the carriage when the time is right.” He waits for me to nod my agreement before his serious expression softens. “Are you okay?”

I want to laugh and tell him no, that I’m not okay, that the closer we get, the more it feels like I’m reopening a wound in my chest. Instead, I take a deep breath and stare at the dark, looming castle in the distance. “I hate being back here.”

“I know,” he replies. He wishes he could take me away, wants to bear this burden for me. He’ll do the next best thing and protect me from any threat. “I’ll see you soon,” he promises, and rides off to the front of the procession.

Closing the window, I lean back into my seat and pull my knees up against my chest, not caring that it’s unladylike. I need this time to be allowed to just be me. I’ve got from here until we arrive at the castle before people will start to judge me or watch my every move for a way to take me down. The guys can feel my desire for time, and mercifully, they give it to me.

I allow my mind to go numb as we enter the slums. I know if I fully allow myself to take in the horror of what Isee, I won’t make it through this meeting with the king. The slums are mostly empty, no one wanting to get in the way of a parade of magicians’ carriages, but I’m sure I catch glimpses of thin, bedraggled children between the shacks that are squeezed together. A noise catches my attention from inside the carriage, and as I look away from the window, I’m surprised by the clenched fists and looks of anger on everyone’s faces. That strange, pained noise sounds again, and I realise it’s coming from Vaeril. His features are tight, and as I reach for our bond, I find much of the discomfort in my chest is not my own, but his as he remembers his time as a captive here.

“Vaeril,” I murmur, but he doesn’t respond, too far in his own memories to hear me. The others shift in their seats, their distress obvious at seeing their friend distraught. Reaching for our bond, I stroke it gently, but it has no effect. His fear starts to leak into me, and I know I’ll be useless if I let it overcome me. Taking a deep breath, I try to steady my breathing, and whispering an apology, I yank the bond between Vaeril and me.

His eyes automatically fly to mine, his breathing ragged.It’s okay, you’re safe, I push the thoughts towards him, knowing he won’t hear the words but will feel the intent behind them. Looking around the carriage, he grimaces as he takes in the others, who are trying to make it look like they weren’t watching him, but his eyes quickly return to mine. I feel his dread and fear, and I can see now that he’s been trying to hide them from me, not wanting to worry me. He knew how anxious I was about returning to Arhaven, so he buried his own fears to support me.

I stand and cross the small space of the moving carriage before climbing into his lap, ignoring his noise of surprise. He soon gets over his shock and wraps his arms around me, a low hum of pleasure rumbling through his chest as he rests his chin on the top of my head. Strands of his silver hair fall over me like a waterfall, blocking out much of my view and surrounding mewith his scent. Reaching out, I twist some of his hair around my fingers as I feel him start to relax against me.

“You can be scared,” I tell him, keeping my voice a soft whisper. “You can fall apart and feel lost. You never have to hide that from me.” A sense of guilt reaches me, but he knows I’m not saying any of this to make him feel guilty. “I know you want to protect me, and I love that, but I’m not a fragile doll. I can handle your emotions and your dark days. Let me help you the way you help me.” Lifting my head, I look up so our eyes meet, my hand stroking his chest in a slow, comforting motion.

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