Page 222 of The War and Deceit Series omnibus

Gathering my courage, I glance at Tor to see his reaction and notice he’s wearing a resigned expression, and when I touch our bond, the feelings are the same. Confused, I look over at Vaeril. He seems frustrated, but I expected his reaction to be more…volatile, like when he found out about Grayson. Movement catches my eye, and I see Eldrin is staring at his brother with a look of hurt and frustration on his face.

“Naril…” Eldrin’s voice seems to break through to him, and his mask appears to crack. Turning, he glances at his brother, flinching when he sees Eldrin’s expression. He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, irritation rising within me. No, he’s the one who wanted to do it this way with everything out in the open, so he’s going to have to deal with his brother’s feelings.

“No, he’s right.” My tone has an edge to it, one that holds a challenge. Naril hears it, straightens in his seat, and turns to face me, his cocky mask back in place. “It’s time. I’m not ashamed.” I lock my eyes with Eldrin as I say this, needing him to hear the truth in my words. Something shines in his eyes, and although we don’t have a bond, I swear I can feel him anyway, telling me something we haven’t dared to say out loud yet. My throat issuddenly dry, so I swallow, and my palms feel sweaty. “Eldrin and I…”

“You love each other.” Vaeril comes to my rescue, surprising everyone in the coach except for perhaps Tor, who crosses his arms over his chest as he observes with interest. Eyes wide, I gape at my mate. My first instinct is to deny it, after all, Eldrin and I haven’t put our feelings into words. Yet when I look over at him and our eyes meet, I get the same pounding in my chest that I do with the others, and it has nothing to do the with mating bonds.

“You knew?” Taking a deep breath to try and steady my frantic heartbeat, I hold his gaze, waiting for his condemnation. Except, although he isn’t smiling and congratulating us, he isn’t snarling or accusing us of going behind their backs like I feared. Naril is staring at Vaeril like he doesn’t recognise his friend, his reaction obviously not what he was expecting either.

A low chuckle emits from Tor. Looking at the tribesman beside me, I see his rueful smile as he leans back, tapping on his chest where the bonds sit. “We can feel your emotions, remember?” he reminds me, and I feel like the biggest idiot in Morrowmer.

Of course they would know, or at least suspect that I had feelings, as they would have experienced some of them second-hand.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my face in my hands and let out a noise of frustration. This whole situation is not playing out how I had hoped. I am not in the right mind frame to be tackling this now, I should be preparing to face the king.

What’s done is done. Eldrin needs you to see this through now. You have to be strong for him,my mind argues. Peeking between my fingers, I see Eldrin watching me. He’s frowning, his usual mask in place, but I spot the vulnerability in his eyes.

Tor places his hand on my lower back, rubbing comforting circles as he leans closer. “Besides, the loaded looks between the two of you were pretty obvious,” he teases, making me smile as I realise that’s exactly what Eldrin and I had just been doing. Sitting back, I look at my tribesman, grin still in place, and I recognise he said it on purpose to make me smile. “There you are.” He cups my cheek, tracing his thumb over my bottom lip. “I just want you to be happy. If that means Eldrin is part of your life…” He takes a deep breath, then rolls his shoulders and nods sharply. “Then so be it.” Tor has always been the most open to sharing me, and he’s also the most laid-back of my mates. As I reach out for our bond, I can see everything he’s saying is true. He genuinely just wants me to be happy. Sure, there is some jealousy there, but it’s overshadowed by his love for me.

“You have mates,” Naril hisses, and I whip around to face him at his sudden outburst. He’s practically seething as he looks me up and down like he’s never seen me before. “You can’t be in love,” he sneers, his whole face twisting in disgust as he spits the last words. His accusation is like acid, and I flinch away from his anger. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn’t have let them see the damage their words did, but this is Naril, my friend.

Vaeril snarls in warning at his friend, and I feel Tor stiffen next to me at the insult, seeing the effect Naril’s behaviour is having on me, but in the small carriage, there is no escape.

A deep rumble comes from the far side of the carriage, and Eldrin’s control finally breaks. Grabbing his brother’s shoulder, he jerks him around, breaking his eye contact with me. “Don’t speak to her like that!” he snarls, inches away from Naril’s face, his anger making him look ferocious and bigger than ever as he faces off against his brother.

This doesn’t seem to faze Naril, though, as he narrows his eyes at him, snarling right back. “What are you thinking,Eldrin?” he shouts, gesturing towards me, but he never takes his eyes off his twin. “She is a mated female! It is against our laws!”

I watch the golden-haired brothers as they fight, my heart in my throat. This is what I feared. Naril is taking it worse than I expected, and I hate that I’m coming between them.

“I know!” Eldrin roars, throwing his hands in the air. “You think I didn’t try not to fall for her? To stay away?” he challenges, and my heart pangs, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. “I am used to being unhappy, unloved, unwanted. She wants me, brother, and I have never felt like this, but I would sacrifice all of my happiness for the sake of Vaeril’s.” My heart breaks a little as he speaks, a tear slipping free and rolling down my cheek. I knew the elf queen had done a number on him, making him believe he was no longer perfect or of any value because he was scarred after his capture, but I’ve not heard him speak like this before. However, from what I know of Eldrin, it sounds exactly like something he would do for his brothers.

Eldrin pauses and takes a deep breath, glancing over at me, our eyes locking. “When I tried to stay away, it only hurt her too, and I couldn’t do that anymore.”

“We didn’t plan for this,” I whisper, my voice rough from the tears. With difficulty, I avert my gaze and meet Naril’s scathing glare. I hate that it feels like we’re having to justify ourselves, especially when I don’t have the words to describe what’s between Eldrin and me. “There is something pulling us together. I know we are not goddess blessed, but—”

“That shouldn’t stop you from being together,” Tor finishes for me. “Our bonds do not guarantee love, they only connect us as the goddess has plans for us. We develop that love,” he explains as he gestures between us, and then at Vaeril. “You and Eldrin have done that without the goddess’ intervention.”

“It is against our laws,” Naril hisses, his frustration evident.

“Whose laws?” Vaeril retorts with a frown. “The queen’s?”

My breath catches in my throat as he speaks. I still don’t know how Vaeril feels about my affection towards Eldrin, since he’s kept it very close to his chest, his end of the bond carefully blank.

Naril spins on his friend, those golden eyes flashing, the atmosphere in the carriage toxic. “So you’re fine with your mate fucking other males?”

Rage fuels my actions, and before I know it, I’m on the other side of the small space, my hand cracking across Naril’s face as I slap him. He recoils from the force of the blow, his hand coming up to his reddening cheek as he looks up at me in shock and anger, but he doesn’t dare retaliate as I glare down at him.

“How dare you?” My words are low with my fury, my breath heaving as I cradle my stinging hand against my chest. That he could even think I would behave like that disgusts me, and the thought of betraying my mates in that way makes me feel physically sick. How he could think what I have with Eldrin isjustfucking, that he believes I’m just giving into my carnal needs when the two of us have barely even kissed, is beyond me. We hadn’t wanted to take things any further until we spoke to Vaeril and the others to avoid anything like this.

Vaeril stands and takes my stinging hand, gently examining it, his face blank. “No,” he begins, raising my hand to his face and pressing a gentle kiss on my palm, his eyes meeting mine. “But I know Clarissa wouldn’tfuckother males.” He helps me back to my seat, and as I sit, he turns to Naril. I can feel his anger simmering through the bond, but he seems to have control over it. “Eldrin is not just another male. He is obviously her mate. Can you not see it? All the signs are there.”

My heart speeds up as hope blooms, and I look over at Eldrin, only to find his eyes locked on me once again. He’s stayed pretty quiet, which is usual for him, a male of few words, even for an elf.

“They are not goddess blessed,” Naril argues, his voice exasperated like he can’t believe he’s having to explain this. “They can’t be mates.”

Vaeril sits down, frowning at his friend, and I sense his confusion. He doesn’t understand why Naril is so against his brother being in love with me. “There is still a connection nonetheless,” he points out. “Love is one of the strongest powers of all, is it not?”

Naril opens his mouth to say something, his face twisted, and I realise that no matter what we say, he’s still going to protest.

---